Tag: movies

Crime 101 (2026)

  • Director: Bart Layton
  • Screenplay: Bart Layton
  • Based on: ‘Crime 101‘ by Don Winslow
  • Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Halle Berry, Barry Keoghan, Monica Barbaro, Corey Hawkins, Nick Nolte
  • Cinematography: Erik Wilson
  • Editing: Jacob Secher Schulsinger, Julian Hart
  • Score: Blanck Mass
  • Genre: Crime thriller
  • Runtime: 140 minutes

A jewel thief, Mike (Chris Hemsworth), carries out a series of robberies along Route 101 on the Pacific coastline; each with the same modus operandi; no civilian injuries, no evidence left at the scene – he’s in and out in a flash. His lawbreaking actions converge with an underappreciated insurance broker (Halle Berry) and a demented biker (Barry Keoghan). On Mike’s tail is dishevelled cop Det. Lubesnick (Mark Ruffalo), who’s under pressure from his boss to reduce the crime rate.

101 by name, 101 by nature. If this was your introduction to the genre, I’m sure you’d be amazed. For the more seasoned cinephiles, this is your basic crime thriller – a criminal on the run, moral ambiguity and a car chase. That’s not to say it’s bad in any sense, just that it doesn’t do anything spectacular in its 140 minute runtime. It lacks a certain punch. For this long of a film, it never felt like it dragged. It’s consistently engaging, building to a dramatic crescendo.

The man at the centre of everything, Mike, is the least compelling person here. There’s an attempt to flesh him out and his motivation behind his crimes but the subplot involving a love interest (Monica Barbaro) is fat that could be trimmed. The strong supporting cast deliver the goods; Ruffalo, Berry and Keoghan all breathe life into their character outlines.

That being said, the direction by Bart Layton is splendid. The nighttime highway aglow with cars; the whites of the headlights going one way, the reds of the taillights travelling the other. This single illuminated stretch of road as if it’s a vein, supplying the city with lifeblood. On the whole, it’s worth a watch.

My rating: 6 / 10

Send Help (2026)

  • Director: Sam Raimi
  • Screenplay: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift
  • Cast: Rachel McAdams, Dylan O’Brien
  • Cinematography: Bill Pope
  • Editing: Bob Murawski
  • Score: Danny Elfman
  • Genre: Black comedy survival horror thriller
  • Runtime: 115 minutes

Two work colleagues, the new boss Bradley (Dylan O’Brien) and his subordinate Linda (Rachel McAdams) get trapped on a tropical island after a plane crash. While Bradley convalesces, there’s an instant clash; he assumes he’s still in charge of Linda but as she reminds him: “We’re not in the office anymore”.

Linda is from the Strategy and Planning department and is a ‘Survivor‘ fanatic. She’s the perfect person to be marooned with…provided you don’t piss her off. A hard worker, she’s been promised a promotion by the old boss, Bradley’s father. This ultimately fails to transpire, as Bradley, inheriting the company upon his dad’s death, throws Linda’s potential step up the corporate ladder out the window. He finds her repulsive and charmless.

Thrown together on the island, the power dynamic reverses. Linda is thriving; living her best life assembling a shelter and foraging for provisions. Bradley is forced into a submissive role, completely contrasting his assumed superiority as ‘the man’. Thinking he can do better, he attempts to build his own camp. It’s way beyond his skill set so he has to crawl back to Linda with his tail betwixt his legs, begging to be taken care of like a contrite child.

Is there a flicker of attraction growing between the pair? She didn’t have to tend to his injured state and they’re both good-looking people. ‘The Blue Lagoon‘ this is not; the film wrong-foots you. Appearances are deceptive.

From the outset, Linda is shown to be socially awkward, klutzy and uncouth. Her goofiness belies a core of steel. An outsider’s perspective would be that she’s a dogsbody, incapable of standing on her own two feet. Don’t assume anything – she’s a survivor of an abusive marriage. The shift in her characterisation as the story progresses doesn’t come from out of nowhere as perhaps you might think. She’s always been driven. Her tireless optimism is her greatest strength. One person’s fundamental behaviour cannot change, even with a monumental alteration to their environment. Much the same with Bradley, just when you believe he’s starting to redeem his demeanour as a brattish nepo baby, there he goes, trying to leave the isle on a makeshift raft sans Linda. What you see on the outside is often a stark contrast to what thoughts are swimming around internally.

Sam Raimi’s direction is gorgeously cinematic. He emphasises this dual nature further visually; the place is a tropical haven during the day, yet there’s the ominous nighttime sequences, having a nightmarish quality. O’Brien and McAdams are magnificent, the latter in particular. She has such an expressive face, she really sells the idea of being dichotomous.

‘Send Help‘ is a fascinating character study. In the middle of the ocean, even with the workplace hierarchy supposedly dismantled, the construct persists. Bradley is emblematic of the chauvinistic boy’s club, taking control of an operation despite the most qualified individual being female. It’s an enjoyable beach-based battle of the sexes, for sure.

My rating: 8 / 10

Primate (2025)

  • Director: Johannes Roberts
  • Screenplay: Johannes Roberts, Ernest Riera
  • Cast: Johnny Sequoyah, Jessica Alexander, Victoria Wyant, Gia Hunter, Benjamin Cheng, Troy Kotsur
  • Cinematography: Stephen Murphy
  • Editing: Peter Gvozdas
  • Score: Adrian Johnston
  • Genre: Natural horror
  • Runtime: 89 minutes

‘Primate‘ has the bare bones of a story: a rabid chimpanzee goes berserk on a Hawaiian island, attacking anyone in his path.

Ben, the savage simian, is of a higher intelligence than your average chimp and has been trained to communicate through a tablet. The idea of bumping off the science project is off the cards when the shit hits the fan. What is the most reasonable course of action in such dire circumstances is greeted with expletives from a member of the chimp’s adoptive family. 

The exposition is of the very minimum, done so via newspaper clippings during the opening credits. The cast mainly comprises clueless teenagers scrambling for an escape. It’s hard to feel sorry for these imbeciles; they’ve overlooked the nearby firepit as a possible means of protection; instead they’re monkeying around trying to recover a phone from inside a building. The locale where the bedlam unfolds is nice but it’s impossible to sully the beauty of Hawaii. Placing a few poolside lamps here and there for decoration doesn’t make a difference.

If Ben’s a chimp, then the writers are chumps. Johannes Roberts (who also directs) has creature feature experience; the ‘47 Meters Down‘ series, with killer sharks. There’s only so much you can do with a crazed monkey, however creepy he may be, with globules of saliva dripping from his gob. The jump scares are telegraphed a mile away. There’s a high gore factor to grab the audience’s waning attention, with some really gruesome, wince-inducing deaths. The whole thing is utterly bananas. 

My rating: 4 / 10

Shelter (2026)

  • Director: Ric Roman Waugh
  • Screenplay: Ward Parry
  • Cast: Jason Statham, Bodhi Rae Breathnach, Bill Nighy, Naomi Ackie, Daniel Mays
  • Cinematography: Martin Ahlgren
  • Editing: Matthew Newman
  • Score: David Buckley
  • Genre: Action thriller
  • Runtime: 107 minutes

With ‘Shelter‘, you know what you’re in for – a Jason Statham-starring action thriller. It’s nothing out of the ordinary; a high-octane big screen escapade where the plot plays second fiddle to fight scenes. He’s a dependable presence, as ever.

Michael Mason (Statham) lives unbothered on a wee Scottish island in the Outer Hebrides, his only companion a dog. A young girl, Jessie (Bodhi Rae Breathnach, a future star), and her uncle drop off supplies for Michael on a weekly excursion to the isle. Choppy waters overturn the pair’s boat and, with her uncle unfortunately drowning, Jessie is left under the care of Michael after he dives in and rescues her from a watery fate.

There’s a reason Michael’s chosen a life of seclusion: he’s a former black ops assassin who disobeyed his superiors by not killing an innocent man (see, he’s a good guy). For all intents and purposes, he’s a ghost, having faked his own death a decade earlier to avoid detection. Being a paternal figure wasn’t part of his plan so when his past catches up with him, he’s forced to abandon the peacefulness of his home. In an attempt to return Jessie to some semblance of safety, the duo dodge threats sent their way from a crooked government official (Bill Nighy).

The cinematography in the opening chapter on the island is fine; time-lapse photography showing the day progressing and the clouds whizzing by, emphasising the repetitive nature of such a mundane existence. An adequate buildup at the start helps to establish the feeling of an idyllic quietness…that’s shattered when a squad of soldiers wash ashore and we’re thrust into the action.

My rating: 6 / 10

Mercy (2026)

  • Director: Timur Bekmambetov
  • Screenplay: Marco van Belle
  • Cast: Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Kali Reis, Annabelle Wallis, Chris Sullivan, Kylie Rogers
  • Cinematography: Khalid Mohtaseb
  • Editing: Austin Keeling, Lam T. Nguyen
  • Score: Ramin Djawadi
  • Genre: Science fiction action thriller
  • Runtime: 100 minutes

It’s man versus machine. The man in question, LAPD Detective Chris Raven (Chris Pratt), is on trial for the murder of his wife. It’s no ordinary trial; in a Los Angeles rampant with poverty and rising crime rates, the notion of having a jury and a (human) judge is a thing of the past. The alternative: an AI judge. This saves time and resources, but leaves out any humanity involved in the process.

Chris, strapped to a high-tech electric chair, has just 90 minutes to prove his innocence before the AI arbiter or be executed. All on the same day as his arrest and the homicide itself. It’s a swift and brutal form of punishment. No lawyer present to argue on his behalf, no family or friends silently willing him on from behind. He’s alone in an empty room, save for a screen. The judge, a humanoid face (that of Rebecca Ferguson), has no sympathy for him whatsoever. Her hair slicked back, her dead eyes glaring at him as the clock ticks down. Ferguson is brilliantly impersonal.

With the entire data cloud at his disposal, all Chris can do is sift through the various camera footage and email servers in the hope of catching the true killer. The moment the proceedings started, the odds were stacked against him. Artificial intelligence is used to calculate the probability of guilt based on sheer facts. In reality, it’s known to lie; to invent things out of nothing to ensure the goal of providing information when prompted is achieved.

This is what justice looks like in the near future. ‘Mercy‘ is set in 2029, only three short years from now. We’ve placed so much of our trust in technology that I can see this unsettling concept being implemented for real.

The film itself could be a product of AI; while the CGI visuals are crisp, the plot is spoonfed to the audience. I’m not sure AI has mastered a sense of excitement so therefore I deem ‘Mercy‘ to have been created by humans – it’s entertaining fare; a popcorn flick and a cautionary tale.

My rating: 6 / 10

The Rip (2026)

  • Director: Joe Carnahan
  • Screenplay: Joe Carnahan
  • Cast: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Steven Yeun, Teyana Taylor, Sasha Calle, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Scott Adkins, Kyle Chandler
  • Cinematography: Juan Miguel Azpiroz
  • Editing: Kevin Hale
  • Score: Clinton Shorter
  • Genre: Action thriller
  • Runtime: 113 minutes

The Miami-Dade Police Department’s Tactical Narcotics Team receive a tip-off of a stash house: a property used for the storage of illegal goods – in this case, $20 million hidden behind a wall in the attic of a suburban home. The team; Lieutenant Dane Dumars (Matt Damon), Detective Sergeant JD Byrne (Ben Affleck) and three detectives (played by Steven Yeun, Teyana Taylor and Catalina Sandino Moreno) conduct a ‘rip’, a seizure of said assets.

Dumars (Matt Damon) starts acting erratic; confiscating everyone’s cellphones, not notifying his superiors. When he first got the tip, he gave his colleagues conflicting answers whenever they inquired as to the amount of money stashed. What’s he up to? Is he scheming to take a large chunk for himself?

The head honchos at Netflix would abscond with the cash, undoubtedly, so they can continue operating their conveyor belt of glossy yet hollow projects. How much dosh did they need to sway stars (and producers) Damon and Affleck into their fold?

The cops are the good guys, right? Working in law enforcement is a thankless job; mistreated by members of the public, constantly in danger of death on the front line. Could you honestly blame them for ‘earning’ a little on the side?

Twisty and confusing (in parts), ‘The Rip’ is watchable if nothing special. The use of lighting is superb however. The abode the raid occurs in is in an eerily quiet cul-de-sac, and as the squad’s mission takes place after hours, streetlights provide the source of illumination. An atmosphere of unease is created – both on the street and inside the garage where the dollars are counted, green light seeping through the windows.

My rating: 5 / 10

Wake Up Dead Man (2025)

  • Director: Rian Johnson
  • Screenplay: Rian Johnson
  • Cast: Daniel Craig, Josh O’Connor, Glenn Close, Josh Brolin, Mila Kunis, Jeremy Renner, Kerry Washington, Andrew Scott, Cailee Spaeny, Daryl McCormack, Thomas Haden Church
  • Cinematography: Steve Yedlin
  • Editing: Bob Ducsay
  • Score: Nathan Johnson
  • Genre: Mystery
  • Runtime: 144 minutes

I must confess: I’m not a fan of the ‘Knives Out‘ series. This third entry, ‘Wake Up Dead Man‘, is slightly better than the first two films but that’s not saying a lot.

After assaulting a deacon, a young priest, Jud (Josh O’Connor), is relocated to a small parish under the thumb of the fearsome Monsignor Jefferson Wicks (Josh Brolin). Wicks’ sermons from the pulpit strike terror into the hearts of his congregation. Jud, a former boxer who’s seen the light, preaches love, not war. When Wicks dies in seemingly impossible circumstances, Jud is the prime suspect.

He’s really the only suspect though. There’s an all-star cast yet most of them aren’t utilised like they deserve to be. Josh O’Connor is tremendous; he features in a greater capacity than Daniel Craig’s Detective Blanc. The story, a classic locked door mystery, is more about Jud’s quest to clear his name without the need for Blanc entirely. In fact, when the detective entered the house of God and bellowed “Hello” in his Southern drawl a good chunk into the runtime, I audibly groaned.

For such a weighty subject matter, religion is weaved into the narrative the proper amount. With making each Benoit Blanc case stand out visually and tonally (‘Knives Out”s stately home, ‘Glass Onion”s luxury island), the church and its pageantry could just have been a game of dress up – cassocks as mere costumes, the holy building a backdrop while clues are scoured for. The conversation between Blanc and Jud on how the religious parables found in the Bible is another form of storytelling was interesting.

And as stories go, this one is full of pomposity. I predicted as much when I started watching; Rian Johnson isn’t a miracle worker. No Hail Marys could convince me otherwise.

My rating: 5 / 10

Jay Kelly (2025)

  • Director: Noah Baumbach
  • Screenplay: Noah Baumbach, Emily Mortimer
  • Cast: George Clooney, Adam Sandler, Laura Dern, Billy Crudup
  • Cinematography: Linus Sandgren
  • Editing: Valerio Bonelli, Rachel Durance
  • Score: Nicholas Britell
  • Genre: Comedy-drama
  • Runtime: 132 minutes

Jay Kelly. A quick three syllable name, repeated often enough that you almost forget he’s a man, not a concept. George Clooney stars as the titular actor, at the apex of a decades-long career as a leading man. At the funeral of the director who gave him his big break, everyone assumes he’s doing fine, like being rich and famous cancels out any emotions someone has. In reality, he’s a shell of a human being with no authentic identity of his own.

He’s divorced, estranged from one daughter and trying to salvage the relationship he has with his younger daughter. She’s going travelling across Europe, leaving him alone with no genuine friends. He decides to track her journey by using her friend’s credit card data, even if it means having to rough it on a train full of normal people. Unfamous people.

They’re surprised to see him in such an ordinary scenario. And of course, treat him like a god among men. That’s the thing about fame though, only those at the eye of the storm know just how destructive a force it is. Here’s Jay Kelly, with a wrecked domestic life, celebrating with complete strangers in a train carriage. They are outsiders, with no knowledge of who he is as a living, breathing person. They’re praising a name; he’s a visual representation of heroism as if his roles onscreen have bled out into the real world.

It takes a small army to construct the image of the perfect film star – his publicist, his stylist, his assistant, reinforcing the idea that he’s a project to work on. With him every step of the way is his manager Ron (Adam Sandler), too loyal to resign even with his own family situation reaching breaking point, getting too close to the squall of celebrity.

Clooney conveys Baumbach’s ideas of fame successfully. He’s never been my favourite ever actor but he’s the only one that could fill this role. He is one of the last great movie stars. His polished charm harks back to the glamour of the Golden Age of Hollywood. Jay Kelly, in a moment of self doubt, rattles off a list of classic actors – Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Clark Gable – inserting his own name in there, as if to assure himself of his place amongst the greats. George Clooney easily belongs in that list. His peers in the field are bankable yet he has that sense of maturity about him. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiCaprio are bona fide icons but they’re all too boyish, clinging onto some sort of youth when they’re over half a century old.

There’s a scene that sees Jay Kelly running through a forest dressed in a white suit reminiscent of a unicorn – magical, mystical, legendary.

My rating: 8 / 10

A House of Dynamite (2025)

  • Director: Kathryn Bigelow
  • Screenplay: Noah Oppenheim
  • Cast: Idris Elba, Rebecca Ferguson, Gabriel Basso, Jared Harris, Tracy Letts
  • Cinematography: Barry Ackroyd
  • Editing: Kirk Baxter
  • Score: Volker Bertelmann
  • Genre: Apocalyptic political thriller
  • Runtime: 112 minutes

We’re living in a world on a knife edge; nine countries possess nuclear weapons and have the capability to annihilate an opposing nation. From an American viewpoint, the most likely candidates for launching an attack against them are China, Russia or North Korea.

A chilling scenario plays out: at Fort Greely, Alaska, radars detect an intercontinental ballistic missile heading across the Pacific Ocean. We’re thrust into the frenzy of the White House Situation Room as the events unfold at an alarming speed. The missile is on course to hit Chicago, wiping out millions upon millions of civilians. The members of staff in the Situation Room have prepared for this eventuality a thousand times but when training becomes a reality, the panic sets in.

Less than 20 minutes till the Windy City is blown away, a conference call is arranged between the Situation Room, the Pentagon and commanders of the Armed Forces, joined by the Secretary of Defense and the President himself (Idris Elba). With the perpetrator unknown, the leader of the free world is put in an impossible position: does he launch a preemptive strike on enemy bases or risk more inbound missiles decimating cities?

None of the key players are one-dimensional characters. Everyone has a family of sorts, whether it be a pregnant partner, a young child or a detached relationship with a daughter. The story never deviates from the impending crisis yet these little glimpses into the interpersonal help to fully realise what could just be faceless identities rushing around.

Told in three chapters each from a different perspective, Kathryn Bigelow’s fictional portrayal of the United States government’s worst nightmare emanates tension right up until the last moment.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Woman in Cabin 10 (2025)

  • Director: Simon Stone
  • Screenplay: Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse, Simon Stone
  • Cast: Keira Knightley, Guy Pearce, David Ajala, Art Malik
  • Cinematography: Ben Davis
  • Editing: Katie Weiland, Mark Day
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Psychological thriller
  • Runtime: 95 minutes

A notable journalist, Laura (Keira Knightley), is invited on a cruise aboard a luxury yacht by a dying billionaire. She accepts the invite, needing to clear her mind after witnessing the murder of the source of a previous article, and also because the terminally ill philanthropist has set up a new charity worth covering.

During Laura’s first night on the superyacht, she overhears an argument coming from the neighbouring cabin. Then a splash. Laura peeks her head over the railing and thinks she’s seen someone in the water. Adamant that that’s the case, Laura refuses to let it go, quickly becoming the pariah among the other guests as she hunts for the truth. Her recent trauma is brought up as an excuse for her behaviour, a prime example of gaslighting.

It’s not just Laura who is the victim of being gaslit; it’s us viewers too. The twist in the tale is so ridiculous it’s insulting. One could argue that none of the characters are attuned to the surrounding events as they’re too self-absorbed. My eyes were glued to the screen for the build-up but the more I watched, and thought about afterwards, the more points I want to deduct from my rating. This seafaring ‘The Lady Vanishes‘ has a plothole so huge, it threatens to sink the boat.

Most of the big name cast feel like they’re there to fill a contractual obligation. Hannah Waddingham, David Morrissey and Kaya Scodelario appear onscreen for a scant amount of minutes, as does Gugu Mbatha-Raw, bookending the film as Laura’s boss.

Maybe Laura did see something hurled overboard – it was me, escaping such fatuousness.

My rating: 5 / 10

Predator: Badlands (2025)

  • Director: Dan Trachtenberg
  • Screenplay: Patrick Aison
  • Cast: Elle Fanning, Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi
  • Cinematography: Jeff Cutter
  • Editing: Stefan Grube, David Trachtenberg
  • Score: Sarah Schachner, Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Science fiction action
  • Runtime: 107 minutes

Making an iconic antagonist the hero of the tale is a risky move. It’s presumably been done to invigorate the decades-old franchise; after the initial few ‘group of soldiers vs. invisible hunter’ movies, the audience grows weary. Dan Trachtenberg is responsible for taking the ‘Predator‘ series in bold directions – first with ‘Prey‘, which pitted a young Comanche woman against the creature, and more recently, ‘Predator: Killer of Killers‘, an animated anthology film.

This new move does the inverse of what he’d hoped. The species, named the Yautja, are known for their bloodthirsty trophy hunting. An exploration of their personal history and lore would indeed be refreshing yet this choice to make one of their own the protagonist feels strange. Dek, the runt of the litter, heads to the deadly planet of Genna on a mission to slay the gargantuan Kalisk to win the approval of his father and join the clan. He’s almost too humanoid if that was possible. Still grotesque facially but less threatening. And his personality: unflinching at the start of his quest which softens as the story progresses.

I’m not saying the Yautja are emotionless creatures, they’re just not meant to be overly sentimental – they kill for the fun of it for heaven’s sake. Dek is the standard example of a Disneyfied character – sympathetic beyond the point of belief. The Yautja are friends to none and predators to all. So why does Dek team up with the synthetic Thia (Elle Fanning)?

Writing aside, the backdrop of the homeworld Yautja Prime at the beginning is stellar and the red laser swords are striking. Setting further ‘Predator‘ stories in outer space, away from the denizens of Earth allows for future run-ins with the Weyland-Yutani Corporation.

My rating: 5 / 10

Good Fortune (2025)

  • Director: Aziz Ansari
  • Screenplay: Aziz Ansari
  • Cast: Seth Rogen, Aziz Ansari, Keanu Reeves, Keke Palmer, Sandra Oh
  • Cinematography: Adam Newport-Berra
  • Editing: Daniel Haworth
  • Score: Carter Burwell
  • Genre: Supernatural comedy
  • Runtime: 97 minutes

In ‘Good Fortune‘, Keanu Reeves plays an angel. This role seems perfect for him; he’s cultivated an image as Hollywood’s nice guy – considerate, polite and wholly unproblematic in such a toxic environment. It’s a shame that he’s brought plummeting back to Earth by his appearance in this dud.

Reeves is Gabriel, an angel assigned to prevent people from texting and driving (and ultimately crashing). He’s a ‘budget guardian angel’, his wings noticeably shorter than his fellow angels. Feeling unfulfilled, he goes above and beyond his pay grade to help Arj (Aziz Ansari), a documentary maker who is down on his luck. Arj struggles to get by financially – he’s resorted to sleeping in his car and working any odd job he can. By complete contrast, we have Jeff (Seth Rogen), a tech bro who sits in the lap of luxury. Gabriel, using his limited powers, switches the lives of the men in a bid to show Arj that being so affluent isn’t all what it appears to be and that his life, however pitiful it may seem, is still worth living.

Naturally Arj, exposed to funds he could only dream of, refuses to swap back. Thus, Gabriel’s superiors strip him of his wings, rendering him human. He and Jeff must scrape together an income on the streets. The film is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life‘ minus the charm. Ansari, who also directs and wrote the screenplay, attempts to deliver a message about the financial disparities existing in America yet none of it elicits my sympathy.

I can’t cast anybody involved in a positive light. Rogen and the whiny-voiced Ansari are irritating, and (god bless him) Mr. Reeves can’t impart any angelic profundities without them sounding stilted. The movie isn’t so much as sent from above as sent from below.

Good fortune? Misfortune would be more apt.

My rating: 4 / 10

Roofman (2025)

  • Director: Derek Cianfrance
  • Screenplay: Derek Cianfrance, Kirt Gunn
  • Cast: Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, Peter Dinklage, LaKeith Stanfield, Juno Temple, Ben Mendelsohn
  • Cinematography: Andrij Parekh
  • Editing: Jim Helton, Ron Patane
  • Score: Christopher Bear
  • Genre: Crime comedy
  • Runtime: 126 minutes

I went into ‘Roofman‘ with a vague recollection of Jeffrey Manchester’s criminal exploits – he conducted a string of armed robberies, usually targeting McDonald’s joints. The alias ‘Roofman’ came from Manchester’s method of climbing atop the buildings at night, drilling a hole through the roof to gain access to the bathrooms then robbing the cash registers, giving the early morning staff the fright of their lives.

In a turn of events you couldn’t invent, Manchester gets caught, manages to abscond from prison, and in a bid to lay low, hides out in a Toys “R” Us. When the whimsical score began, I immediately thought the treatment of this real-life figure would be a bit breezy. It’s played for laughs – given the outlandish situation, it would be hard not to.

I was won over. Channing Tatum does a great job of making Manchester into an affable anti-hero. He’s not a bad guy at his core; he just wants to provide for his children and is strapped for cash. The decisions he’s made are disastrous yet you can’t help rooting for him to evade capture. Haven’t you always wanted to stay past closing time in a department store? The sequences involving Jeffrey’s nocturnal antics on the shop floor are a lot of fun.

The film packs an unexpected emotional punch in the form of the surrogate family Jeffrey forms with Toys “R” Us employee and love interest, Leigh (Kirsten Dunst), and her two daughters. He can’t return to his old world – that’s gone forever. Someone in his shoes getting a second chance to build a life for themselves is rare, and it’s one that is so precarious.

My rating: 8 / 10

The Long Walk (2025)

  • Director: Francis Lawrence
  • Screenplay: JT Mollner
  • Cast: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Garrett Wareing, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Roman Griffin Davis, Jordan Gonzalez, Josh Hamilton, Judy Greer, Mark Hamill
  • Cinematography: Jo Willems
  • Editing: Mark Yoshikawa
  • Score: Jeremiah Fraites
  • Genre: Dystopian survival thriller
  • Runtime: 108 minutes

Another month, another Stephen King adaptation.

After the muddled fantasy that was ‘The Life of Chuck‘, we’re back on solid ground with a horror-adjacent concept. It’s a step in the right direction.

In an America stricken by poverty and under the thumb of a totalitarian regime, a group of young men enter a competition: the titular long walk. There is no finish line in sight. The victor is the last man standing (or walking in this case). They’ve voluntarily submitted to this arduous challenge to win ‘the prize’: anything their heart desires. In many cases, it’s cash – conditions are so poor economically by staying home and sitting it out, you’d probably die of starvation anyway.

The walkers are required to travel at a speed of three miles per hour consistently. Water is supplied along the way. No stopping for a quick doze though. Absolutely no time for a toilet break either. Audiences won’t need one; the film keeps you glued to the comfort of your seat.

The boys are given three warnings if they lag behind. They aren’t excluded from the expedition if they fail to keep up with the crowd. Instead, they’re shot dead, cold and mercilessly; the corpse just left there to bleed out. It’s part of the routine. With each walker meeting his maker, it doesn’t get easier down the road.

Nobody is there to make friends upon entering the contest although a few gang together and call themselves the Musketeers. All for one and one for all. There can only be one winner.

Doyen of dystopia Francis Lawrence, known for directing nearly every ‘The Hunger Games‘ movie, maintains a steady pace. The cast is top-class; Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Charlie Plummer and an unrecognisable Mark Hamill as the Major, dark sunglasses stuck to his face. The eyes are the window of the soul. Their absence epitomises a country lacking any humanity, where unfortunate men are slain without a pause for reflection.

‘The Long Walk‘ is soul-crushingly bleak – stick with it to the end even if, like the walkers, your resolve is broken.

My rating: 8 / 10

Honey Don’t! (2025)

  • Director: Ethan Coen
  • Screenplay: Ethan Coen, Tricia Cooke
  • Cast: Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans, Charlie Day
  • Cinematography: Ari Wegner
  • Editing: Tricia Cooke, Emily Denker
  • Score: Carter Burwell
  • Genre: Neo-noir dark comedy detective
  • Runtime: 89 minutes

‘Honey Don’t!‘ is the middle entry in a ‘lesbian B-movie trilogy’ (their words, not mine) from director Ethan Coen and his writing partner / wife Tricia Cooke. Last year’s ‘Drive-Away Dolls‘ was a crime-infused road movie, this film keeps the criminal element intact but has the feel of an old-school detective yarn.

It’s as far removed from the Coen brothers’ ‘Fargo‘ as you’d imagine. Wintry Minnesota is swapped for Bakersfield, California, where there’s nary a tree to be seen for miles. Lead character Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley), a private detective, is the antithesis of Frances McDormand’s police chief Marge Gunderson. Marge was a homely, maternal figure whereas Honey is hedonistic and sensual.

Having hived off from his brother, Ethan’s project is gushing with gratuitous sexual content. One might instantly write off any female nudity depicted as having been included for ‘the male gaze’. Not so, I’d say it might appeal to same-sex attracted women more. The hot-bloodedness left me cold, the sticky bedroom scenes not doing anything to drive the plot forward.

Honey is busy as a bee investigating a car crash, a cult-like church and the disappearance of her niece while still having time to hook up with a cop (Aubrey Plaza).

Coen’s strong cinematic visuals are buzzworthy; the sequences with Honey driving in her open-top automobile down the neglected West Coast streets keeping us sweet when the narrative veers off course. Margaret Qualley is outstanding, fully understanding the assignment given. Chris Evans as the lecherous preacher surprised me, playing against his all-American good guy type.

Not quite the bee’s knees but not a total buzzkill either.

My rating: 6 / 10

The Life of Chuck (2024)

  • Director: Mike Flanagan
  • Screenplay: Mike Flanagan
  • Cast: Tom Hiddleston, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Karen Gillan, Mia Sara, Carl Lumbly, Benjamin Pajak, Jacob Tremblay, Mark Hamill
  • Cinematography: Eben Bolter
  • Editing: Mike Flanagan
  • Score: The Newton Brothers
  • Genre: Fantasy drama
  • Runtime: 111 minutes

If I told you this was a Stephen King cinematic adaptation, you’d think it would be classed in the horror genre, right? Wrong answer: it’s one of King’s forays into fantasy. ‘The Life of Chuck‘ is a short story contained in his 2020 collection ‘If It Bleeds‘ (another such tale, ‘Mr. Harrigan’s Phone‘ has already been adapted).

It’s the end of the world as we know it. Nobody feels fine though. Chunks of America are lost to earthquakes and sinkholes, the internet goes down and there’s reports of flooding from around the globe. Even the stars start to vanish from the night sky. There is a constant throughout this apocalyptic scenario: billboards that proclaim: “Charles Krantz: 39 Great Years! Thanks, Chuck!”.

If you keep watching, (almost) all will be revealed. This is Act Three – we’re seeing Chuck’s life unfold backwards. Starting the narrative with the demise of everything signifies we’ve experienced the climax early. The remainder meanders along. Stretching 128 pages into a feature-length film means a fair bit of what is seen on screens could be chucked away, including an extended dance number featuring the adult Chuck (Tom Hiddleston).

This is Mike Flanagan’s third adaptation of a Stephen King plot, following ‘Gerald’s Game‘ and ‘Doctor Sleep‘. He’s clearly a fan but couldn’t he choose a story to interpret that wasn’t so ponderous?

Nonetheless, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Mark Hamill provide strong performances and the young actor playing 11-year-old Chuck, Benjamin Pajak, has serious dance moves. Dare I say this, but perhaps Mr. King should stick to doing what he does best: scaring the wits out of us?

My rating: 5 / 10

Weapons (2025)

  • Director: Zach Cregger
  • Screenplay: Zach Cregger
  • Cast: Josh Brolin, Julia Garner, Cary Christopher, Alden Ehrenreich, Austin Abrams, Benedict Wong, Amy Madigan
  • Cinematography: Larkin Seiple
  • Editing: Joe Murphy
  • Score: Ryan Holladay, Hays Holladay, Zach Cregger
  • Genre: Mystery horror
  • Runtime: 128 minutes

At exactly 2:17am, 17 children up and leave their respective houses and scarper into the night, leaving their parents bereft. And full of questions. Where did they disappear to? These kids left of their own volition – this isn’t a cut and dry abduction. The way they’re running is odd too: arms outstretched as if they’re pretending to be fighter jets. All 17 belonged to the same class at school, taught by Ms. Justine Gandy (Julia Garner). Except one boy didn’t flee by foot: Alex, who claims not to know the whereabouts of his classmates.

Justine becomes the town pariah, understandably so, unfair as it may seem. A month after the incident, a community meeting takes place where she unsuccessfully attempts to cool tempers of frantic parents. Her car is vandalised: ‘witch’ is scrawled across it. Could she really be responsible?

‘Weapons‘ is divided into chapters, each from a different character’s point of view. As the portions pass, the enigma begins to unravel. Justine’s story is first; we see her processing the situation by drinking and hooking up with her married ex-boyfriend (Alden Ehrenreich). Then comes Archer (Josh Brolin), grieving father of a young son, who actively seeks an answer to the disappearances (doing a better job than the police certainly). Next: Paul (Justine’s ex, a cop), James (a petty burglar), Marcus (the school principal) and Alex (the boy at the centre of the whole thing).

Good performances from Garner, Brolin and Ehrenreich as flawed characters and an eerie atmosphere keep you sufficiently curious. There’s a couple of jump scares thrown in to maintain the horror levels and some strangely comedic moments courtesy of Alex’s wacky Aunt Gladys but ‘Weapons‘ is a genuinely intriguing mystery in every sense of the word.

My rating: 7 / 10

Bring Her Back (2025)

  • Director: Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou
  • Screenplay: Danny Philippou, Bill Hinzman
  • Cast: Billy Barratt, Sora Wong, Jonah Wren Phillips, Sally Hawkins
  • Cinematography: Aaron McLisky
  • Editing: Geoff Lamb
  • Score: Cornel Wilczek
  • Genre: Supernatural psychological horror
  • Runtime: 104 minutes

An Australian horror film is the last place I’d expect to see Sally Hawkins. She’s built her career on Mike Leigh projects (‘Vera Drake‘, ‘Happy-Go-Lucky‘), period pieces (‘Jane Eyre‘, ‘Great Expectations‘) and the family-friendly ‘Paddington‘ series, with the occasional left turn (the blockbuster ‘Godzilla‘ and romantic fantasy gem ‘The Shape of Water‘). This is completely unexpected.

Hawkins plays Laura, a counselor dealing with her own trauma; she lost her daughter in a drowning accident. Her reluctance to move forward is evident: she’s had her dead dog stuffed and on display for visitors. Laura also works as a foster mother. Already looking after a selectively mute boy, she takes in step-brother/sister duo Andy and Piper following their father’s recent passing.

Grief pervades the air. You might assume Laura would be mopey, distant and dressed in black as is customary. Nope. There she is, accompanying Andy and Piper to their dad’s funeral wearing a purple cardigan, garish lipstick and dangly hoop earrings, her hair a curly mop. She’s in the mood to celebrate, not to mourn. She’s got a sinister plan up her sleeve. Coping with loss is never easy, as a counselor should know. When it’s your own child, however, one may venture down a dark path. Laura watches fuzzy VHS tapes of a demonic-looking ritual involving a host cannibalising a corpse and transferring the soul of the deceased into a new body.

It’s visceral and bloody – not for those of you with weak stomachs. Hawkins’ performance captivates throughout and with ‘Bring Her Back‘, the Philippou brothers cast a spell stronger than any magical circle could.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Naked Gun (2025)

  • Director: Akiva Schaffer
  • Screenplay: Dan Gregor, Doug Mand, Akiva Schaffer
  • Cast: Liam Neeson, Pamela Anderson, Paul Walter Hauser, Kevin Durand, Danny Huston
  • Cinematography: Brandon Trost
  • Editing: Brian Scott Olds
  • Score: Lorne Balfe
  • Genre: Action crime comedy
  • Runtime: 85 minutes

At the close of the third ‘Naked Gun‘ film, ‘Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult‘, Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) sires a child, a baby boy. This was in 1994, so Liam Neeson (73)’s Frank Drebin Jr. was either born way earlier or he had a paper round in Iraq. You wouldn’t immediately think Neeson is a man in his 70s. He’s imminently pivoting away from action flicks, which have comprised the bulk of his second act as a movie star. It’s a smart move; he can do comedy and he’s game for a laugh here – but Neeson is no Nielsen. Although both started their careers as serious actors (Nielsen starred in ‘Forbidden Planet‘ and ‘The Poseidon Adventure‘ while Neeson got an Oscar nomination for ‘Schindler’s List‘), Nielsen’s comedic shtick proves to be hard to emulate.

‘The Naked Gun‘ (minus the subtitle or wacky opening credits scene) has the appropriate number of visual gags and inane wordplay except none of it made me chuckle, maybe raising the odd smirk here or there. The references are outdated by two decades and the celebrity cameos – from Dave Bautista, “Weird Al” Yankovich (again) and who I believe to be Priscilla Presley (though who can tell these days) – can’t rescue it either.

We’re living in an age where there’s a strong anti-cop sentiment post-George Floyd. ‘ACAB’ is scrawled on walls in graffiti and police cars are banned from appearing in Fortnite. Officers of the law are seen as figures of distrust. Political satire has never ceased, so why can we no longer poke fun at the authorities too? They get a ribbing onscreen; their buffoonery is the target of mockery and jokes made at their expense are sanctioned. No need to hurl abuse at them. Save that for Akiva Schaffer for thinking anyone could replace Leslie Nielsen.

My rating: 5 / 10

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

  • Director: Matt Shakman
  • Screenplay: Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan, Ian Springer
  • Cast: Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Joseph Quinn, Julia Garner, Ralph Ineson
  • Cinematography: Jess Hall
  • Score: Michael Giacchino
  • Genre: Superhero
  • Runtime: 114 minutes

20 years ago, we got ‘Fantastic Four‘, which did well enough commercially to get a sequel. 10 years later came another ‘Fantastic Four‘ – that one was a box office flop. A further decade brings a new big-budget outing for the third version of the superhero family, this time integrating them into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Planet Earth is marked for destruction. This message of doom is delivered by the messenger the Silver Surfer who serves her master, the mighty Galactus. Yes, her. More on that shortly. But it’s not Earth as we know it; specifically, it’s Earth-828, an alternate reality where the citizens are living in a retro-futuristic setting. A place where people listen to music on vinyl and drive Lincoln Continentals, except the technology is advanced and the quartet have a flying car. It’s how artists in the 1960s pictured how the far-flung year of 2000 A.D. would resemble – like a live action ‘Jetsons‘ movie. The period detail is amazing, there’s a million things to spot in such a short amount of time while we’re zipping around.

The retro design makes up for what they’ve done to our lead characters. Starting with Mister Fantastic: casting Pedro Pascal as a dependable, trustworthy guy is a stretch. Vanessa Kirby’s Sue Storm has a couple of nice moments but feels slightly muted. The writers have reduced Johnny Storm / Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) from smokin’ hot ladies’ man to just the plain old annoying little brother because they thought his womanising ways weren’t sexy. By contrast, you have the female incarnation of the Silver Surfer, played by Julia Garner. Now, I actually don’t take issue with the gender swap like so many swathes of fans did online. She’s otherworldly and detached as she should be. Turning the character into a woman means she’s promptly objectified – “Johnny’s girlfriend”, “sexy alien” etc. – I don’t recall the male variant ever receiving this treatment. These screenwriters must still be virgins, surely?

2024 was a cooldown for Marvel films (only one was released, ‘Deadpool & Wolverine‘) so we’re back to the usual two/three per calendar year. ‘The Fantastic Four: First Steps‘ is the weakest of 2025’s trio, behind ‘Captain America: Brave New World‘ and ‘Thunderbolts*‘.

My rating: 6 / 10

Superman (2025)

  • Director: James Gunn
  • Screenplay: James Gunn
  • Cast: David Corenswet, Rachel Brosnahan, Nicholas Hoult, Edi Gathegi, Anthony Carrigan, Nathan Fillion, Isabela Merced
  • Cinematography: Henry Braham
  • Score: John Murphy, David Fleming
  • Genre: Superhero
  • Runtime: 129 minutes

From deep beneath the rubble which lay the DCEU bursts forth an all-American saviour… James Gunn? Not who you were expecting? Gunn, the mastermind behind the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy‘ franchise, has flitted between Marvel and DC in the past few years. Following the release of ‘Guardians Vol. 2‘, he was controversially fired due to some dodgy tweets so crossed over to DC where he directed 2021’s ‘The Suicide Squad‘. After being brought back to finish the ‘Guardians‘ trilogy, Gunn has now made DC his permanent home; he’s the head honcho (along with film producer Peter Safran) of the DCU. It’s a soft reboot of the previous cinematic universe, a mishmash of original characters and former favourites. It remains to be seen at this stage which actors will stay in their roles or who will be completely recast.

As for ‘Superman‘, this is no origin story; Superman is an established protector of the planet, has been for three years prior; he and Lois Lane are an item. We’ve had enough genesis stories of late, so this saves precious time when we can instead embrace the future. It’s bold, fresh and colourful. The icy Fortress of Solitude in the Antarctic desert and Green Lantern’s emerald-hued energy constructs are superb. Yes, Green Lantern is one of a bunch of new heroes introduced as part of the ‘Justice Gang’ alongside Mister Terrific and Hawkgirl.

David Corenswet fits the role of Clark Kent / Superman like a glove and Brosnahan makes a capable Lois Lane. I had issues with Nicholas Hoult’s portrayal of Lex Luthor – I felt an older actor with more gravitas should play Superman’s arch-nemesis. Hoult is maybe too young but we all have to start somewhere.

Speaking of starting somewhere, ‘Superman‘ kicks off the DCU with gusto. Gunn might not be directing every movie in this universe but he’s got grand plans – I think Kevin Feige ought to be scared.

My rating: 8 / 10

Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)

  • Director: Gareth Edwards
  • Screenplay: David Koepp
  • Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ed Skrein
  • Cinematography: John Mathieson
  • Score: Alexandre Desplat
  • Genre: Science fiction thriller
  • Runtime: 133 minutes

A mere three years after the critical mauling of ‘Jurassic World Dominion‘, we have another entry in the ‘Jurassic’ series: ‘Rebirth‘. As the name suggests, it’s a soft reboot with new characters yet maintaining the spirit of the OG ‘Jurassic Park‘ (1993). For a little while, the original was once the highest grossing film of all time so of course the studio would milk the hell out of the IP but can we let a franchise heal its wounds for a moment before launching more movies?

That said, ‘Rebirth‘ keeps it simple in terms of plot and the number of characters. Following on from the events of ‘Dominion‘, planet Earth is now inhospitable to dinosaurs. The poor creatures can only thrive near the equator where the climate is closest to their old habitat from eons ago. A greedy pharmaceutical rep (Rupert Friend) recruits skilled covert operative Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) to obtain blood samples from three living dinosaurs so he can develop a cure for heart disease. Rounding off the group are paleontologist (dinosaur nerd) Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and team leader Kincaid (Mahershala Ali). What they don’t immediately know is that the island they shipwreck at was once a testing ground for dinosaur experiments, including one ‘D-rex’ – a ‘Distortus rex’, looking like a Xenomorph on steroids.

Our crew behind the camera are dino-mite too: Gareth Edwards is no stranger to working with big beasts (he directed 2014’s ‘Godzilla‘, which kicked off Universal’s ‘Monsterverse‘) whilst the first film’s screenwriter David Koepp returns to humanise things. Together, they make it feel as fresh as it could be, delivering spectacle and roaringly good fun. A sequel is not required, unless Universal Pictures want the franchise to go the way of the dinosaurs.

My rating: 7 / 10

F1 (2025)

  • Director: Joseph Kosinski
  • Screenplay: Ehren Kruger
  • Cast: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
  • Cinematography: Claudio Miranda
  • Score: Hans Zimmer
  • Genre: Sports drama
  • Runtime: 156 minutes

On your marks. Get set. Go!

From the same director behind ‘Top Gun: Maverick‘, Joseph Kosinski, comes ‘F1‘, whizzing past you on your left. It’s most definitely a film for petrolheads, I must admit it’s not my cup of tea. It’s not one continuous circuit for 2.5 hours; there’s a plot too which gives you something to focus on if fast cars aren’t your thing.

Racing team owner Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem), millions of dollars in debt, approaches his old teammate Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) with a proposal: join his team and win at least one of nine Grands Prix in the World Championship and bask in your former glory. It beats Hayes’ current existence; travelling around in a van like a bum.

Okay, so you’re Brad Pitt. That don’t impress me much.

With Sonny Hayes back in the driver’s seat again after a life-altering injury derailed his famous career 30 years ago, tensions mount between Hayes and hotshot rookie Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris). They’re both alpha males, making the job of uniting as a crew tricky.

Okay, so you’ve got a car. That don’t impress me much.

The commercialism is a tad off-putting; their racing suits adorned with various brand logos and the cars slapped with adverts. It’s a billboard in cinematic form. I understand though, these companies have to make money somehow and the producers of the movie itself needed the sponsorship deals to lower the staggering cost. When you’ve blown the budget getting Brad Pitt involved, it makes sense.

The cast all pull their weight; Idris is a star on the rise. Yet the disconnect I felt from the subject matter hampered my engagement. No victory lap required.

My rating: 5 / 10

M3GAN 2.0 (2025)

  • Director: Gerard Johnstone
  • Screenplay: Gerard Johnstone
  • Cast: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Amie Donald, Jenna Davis, Ivanna Sakhno, Jemaine Clement
  • Cinematography: Toby Oliver
  • Score: Chris Bacon
  • Genre: Science fiction action
  • Runtime: 120 minutes

Hold on to your vaginas!

To completely misquote Harvey Dent’s line from ‘The Dark Knight’: “you either die a villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero.” In this case, closer to an anti-hero.

Two years after the chaos that was ‘M3GAN‘, Gemma (Allison Williams) and her niece Cady (Violet McGraw) find themselves under threat from ‘AMELIA’ (autonomous military engagement logistics and infiltration android), a rogue AI housed in a humanoid adult body. AMELIA is on the hunt for everyone involved in her creation and since she’s been coded with M3GAN’s data, Gemma has no real choice but to reassemble the latter from the scrapheap to save the day. The robotic doll’s request: make her taller, accommodating the fact that the child actress portraying M3GAN’s physical form has grown a foot or so.

‘M3GAN 2.0‘ eschews the horror aspects that made the first film a hit in favour of an all-out action escapade. M3GAN was a convincingly creepy doll but her devolution into one of the ‘good guys’ undoes the effort of the original. Her uncanny valley features used to be menacing, not anymore; she’s now reduced to spouting sarky quips.

It’s serviceable as a story – more or less. I can get on board with the message that ‘AI is bad’ but it’s hammered home to the point of exhaustion. The dialogue isn’t user-friendly; there’s a load of technobabble flying from every corner which just sounds like white noise to me. I think there’s a bug in the system – let’s press Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

My rating: 5 / 10

Ballerina (2025)

  • Director: Len Wiseman
  • Screenplay: Shay Hatten
  • Cast: Ana de Armas, Anjelica Huston, Gabriel Byrne, Lance Reddick, Norman Reedus, Ian McShane, Keanu Reeves
  • Cinematography: Romain Lacourbas
  • Score: Tyler Bates, Joel J. Richard
  • Genre: Action thriller
  • Runtime: 125 minutes

Taking place in the John Wick universe, ‘Ballerina‘ slots in between ‘Parabellum‘ and ‘Chapter 4‘ and focuses on Eve (Ana de Armas), a ballet dancer and assassin, trained by the Ruska Roma crime syndicate. They featured sparingly in ‘Parabellum‘, headed up by a Russian-accented Anjelica Huston but they take centre stage here. Eve is on a revenge mission: to kill the man (Gabriel Byrne) responsible for her father’s death. Little Eve (perfect child casting) saw the tragedy unfold in front of her, thrusting her into a world of violence.

Strongly warned against doing this, Eve is resolute and won’t back down. She risks defying the orders of the Ruska Roma if she proceeds. Will this Eve bite the apple and be banished from Eden? The assassins are bound by a list of rules – dare she break these tenets and face the consequences?

It’s riveting fare, moving along at a quick pace. A different director from the main franchise – this time it’s Len Wiseman, who helmed the ‘Underworld‘ series – yet the excellent set pieces remain, whether fighting in a gaudy nightclub or a snowy Alpine village.

Keanu Reeves pops up in what I’d describe as an extended cameo. His presence isn’t required; let Ana de Armas stand on her own two feet. She makes for a more than capable action heroine, walloped around a good bit by men bigger than her, though learns to use certain tactics in order to vanquish foes. If Reeves had overstayed his welcome, it might as well be classed as another Wick flick. At least with Eve’s character, we get choreographed fight scenes and acting ability.

Eve has scope to return in a ‘Ballerina‘ sequel or further on in ‘John Wick 5‘ – yes, it’s been greenlit; the guy is indestructible.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

  • Director: Wes Anderson
  • Screenplay: Wes Anderson
  • Cast: Benicio del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rupert Friend, Hope Davis
  • Cinematography: Bruno Delbonnel
  • Score: Alexandre Desplat
  • Genre: Espionage black comedy
  • Runtime: 105 minutes

‘The Phoenician Scheme‘ is the venerated Wes Anderson’s unlucky 13th feature length outing. Over 20+ years, he’s developed his own idiosyncratic style of filmmaking; a rich colour palette of yellows and oranges and shots made to look as if they’re two-dimensional paintings. He’s got his die-hard fans; if you’re one of them, you’ll no doubt love this film greater than I did.

Visually, as ever, it’s striking. As the opening credits appear, we’re treated to an aerial shot of Benicio del Toro (as Zsa-Zsa Korda) in the bath (a tray covering his modesty), while nurses walk around the perimeter of the screen. Anderson’s quirky approach makes up for a lack of coherent plot. Zsa-Zsa Korda is an industralist keen to remodel the area of Phoenicia (the Eastern Mediterranean) in his image. Having survived countless assassination attempts due to his shady business dealings, he decides to leave everything he owns to his pious nun of a daughter, Liesl (Mia Threapleton, in her first leading movie role). She’s his only female child; he has nine sons – he has more children than Boris Johnson!

The screenplay is too verbose with the actors trading lines back and forth at a pace so fast my brain didn’t comprehend half of what was going on. What I did understand devolved into silliness quickly, it sadly failed to ignite any strong, positive feelings from me.

Nevertheless, the cast is an embarrassment of riches: Benedict Cumberbatch, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Jeffrey Wright to name but a few and Anderson’s regular musical collaborator, Alexandre Desplat, delivers another charming score. If Wes ploughs on and conceives his 14th project, he should scheme to make a story capable of following. With less Michael Cera lingering in the background like a stench.

My rating: 5 / 10

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning (2025)

  • Director: Christopher McQuarrie
  • Screenplay: Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen
  • Cast: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Esai Morales, Pom Klementieff, Henry Czerny, Angela Bassett, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Nick Offerman, Hannah Waddingham
  • Cinematography: Fraser Taggart
  • Editing: Eddie Hamilton
  • Score: Max Aruj, Alfie Godfrey
  • Genre: Action spy
  • Runtime: 170 minutes

At the beginning of ‘Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning‘, box office saviour himself Tom Cruise pops up in a quick 1 minute clip thanking fans for coming to watch his new movie at the cinema (a moot point if you’re pirating it off 123movies). And although this isn’t the strongest installment in the series, it’s worth experiencing on the biggest screen you can acquire.

Continuing on from the previous film, the objective – to seek control of ‘the Entity’, an artificial intelligence that has world-ending capabilities if it falls into the wrong hands. Due to a lack of decent antagonists, this harmful A.I. is the deadliest threat facing Ethan Hunt’s team, rendering the eighth ‘Mission: Impossible‘ a soulless ultimate outing. The constant chatter of MacGuffins made me want to shout “less talking, more blowing up stuff!”.

There’s plenty of diverting sequences; director Christopher McQuarrie knows how to make a action-packed spectacle. Ethan Hunt faces danger at two extremes; clinging onto a chartered plane miles above the ground and venturing to the ocean floor to investigate an abandoned submarine. Watching all this water doesn’t help if you’re needing the loo by this stage. Bad news – you’re only about halfway through.

Touting this as the ‘final reckoning’ is bold for a major money-making franchise. I could earn some dough myself from betting this isn’t the end for Ethan and the gang but we’ll see. It’s remarkable that Tom Cruise still does his own stunts at the age of 62 but perhaps it’s time to put him and his puffy face out to pasture.

This review will self-destruct in 5 seconds…

My rating: 6 / 10

Final Destination Bloodlines (2025)

  • Director: Zach Lipovsky, Adam Stein
  • Screenplay: Guy Busick, Lori Evans Taylor
  • Cast: Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Anna Lore, Brec Bassinger, Tony Todd
  • Cinematography: Christian Sebaldt
  • Editing: Sabrina Pitre
  • Score: Tim Wynn
  • Genre: Supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 110 minutes

Will there ever be a final ‘Final Destination‘? It’s now been a quarter of a century of scaring cinemagoers into becoming hermits and not daring to venture outside in fear of the most ridiculous manner of death befalling them. More than 50% of accidents happen at home so you’re not safe there either.

This new entry acts as a prequel; the opening sequence takes place in the 1960s and follows a young woman’s premonition that the fancy rooftop restaurant (over 400 metres high) she attends with her boyfriend will collapse. Since she prevents this catastrophe from occurring, the number of lives she saves from the clutches of doom is myriad, so the stakes are higher than the previous installments where, say, you had 8 survivors.

Because of the vast tally of those cheating their fate, it’s absurdly taken Death decades to pick them all off one by one. Maybe the Grim Reaper got tired and took an extended vacation at the midway point? By the present day, many of the survivors have gone on to start families, making Death’s job extra difficult. It kills people through their genetic bloodline, hence the title.

Talking about things taking time, the runtime is the longest of the franchise. The average length of the first five movies is 91 minutes – which made them short, punchy rushes. ‘Bloodlines‘ felt drawn out and being the sixth movie, past its use-by date. Very much flogging a dead horse. Let this series rest in peace.

That said, the fatalities are sublimely splattery as expected and the song choices are a knowing wink to the audience. The late, great Tony Todd returns as the enigmatic Mr. Bludworth, the film’s MVP. Whilst only appearing in a single scene, his screen presence makes it worthwhile. A fitting send-off to both the character and the actor himself, musing on enjoying every second of life while you can – especially poignant given Todd’s health condition during filming.

My rating: 5 / 10

Thunderbolts* (2025)

  • Director: Jake Schreier
  • Screenplay: Eric Pearson, Joanna Calo
  • Cast: Florence Pugh, Sebastian Stan, Wyatt Russell, Olga Kurylenko, Lewis Pullman, Geraldine Viswanathan, David Harbour, Hannah John-Kamen, Julis Louis-Dreyfus
  • Cinematography: Andrew Droz Palermo
  • Editing: Angela Catanzaro, Harry Yoon
  • Score: Son Lux
  • Genre: Superhero
  • Runtime: 126 minutes

CIA director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) risks impeachment due to her involvement with the O.X.E. Group, which has been conducting experiments on humans. To eliminate all traces of wrongdoings, she intends to ensnare her operatives and dispatch them.

This motley crew are:

  • Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) – an assassin trained in the infamous Red Room, adoptive sister of Scarlett Johansson’s late Black Widow.
  • John Walker / U.S. Agent (Wyatt Russell) – a knockoff Captain America with none of the goody two-shoes quality about him, only hostility.
  • Ava Starr / Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) – she has the power to pass through objects as a result of a molecular instability, first seen in ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp‘.
  • Antonia Dreykov / Taskmaster – a professional killer who can mimic others’ fighting styles, introduced in ‘Black Widow‘ (2021) alongside Belova.

Throw in the new character of Bob (Lewis Pullman); one of de Fontaine’s human guinea pigs, plus the returning Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) and Red Guardian (David Harbour), Yelena’s father-figure, and you have the Thunderbolts, a bunch of lovable rogues thrust together in less-than-perfect circumstances – Marvel’s answer to Suicide Squad. There are bad guys and there are worse guys, these are the former.

It may seem a lot of info to take in, since the characters come from separate corners of the vast MCU but the writing deftly weaves their narratives into one entertaining action romp. It’s not just hits and giggles however, there’s a real vein of existentialism throbbing underneath the superhero armour.

As ever, the final scenes are crucial – they set up the stage for Phase 6 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

My rating: 8 / 10

Sinners (2025)

  • Director: Ryan Coogler
  • Screenplay: Ryan Coogler
  • Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Hailee Steinfeld, Miles Caton, Jack O’Connell, Wunmi Mosaku, Jayme Lawson, Omar Miller, Buddy Guy, Delroy Lindo
  • Cinematography: Autumn Durald Arkapaw
  • Editing: Michael P. Shawver
  • Score: Ludwig Göransson
  • Genre: Period supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 137 minutes

Identical twins, ‘Smoke’ and ‘Stack’ Moore (both played by Michael B. Jordan to the delight of many, I’m sure) return to their roots in Mississippi in Dust Bowl-era America after making good money up north in Chicago. With this wealth, they intend to start up a juke joint, a sort of bar featuring singing and gambling, for the town’s black community. Their young cousin Sammie, proficient in playing the guitar, is hired for entertainment. There’s a supernatural potency to his music; it’s a siren call for forces of evil – vampires.

Speaking in a Southern drawl, the cast are unintelligible to my ears so the personal circumstances of the brothers goes over my head unfortunately. I could understand every 5th word – ‘Y’all this, y’all that’ etc. That’s not a criticism of the quality of acting; conveying a message takes more than words and I got the general gist of what was going on.

‘Sinners‘ comes into its stride when dusk falls on the juke joint’s opening night. The fanged beasts come out of the shadows, and as per vampiric tradition, have to be invited inside a property. Don’t let them in!

The film’s greatest strength is the musical score, composed by Coogler’s previous collaborator Ludwig Göransson. It’s an ode to American blues music, with some gospel, soul, jazz and Irish folk thrown in as well. The score takes the songs of the Deep South in the 1930s and ensures them a legacy. Props to Miles Caton (as Sammie) in his big screen debut; he has such musicality in his veins.

Stay for the post-credits scene starring guitar legend Buddy Guy, who influenced the likes of Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Jeff Beck.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Amateur (2025)

  • Director: James Hawes
  • Screenplay: Ken Nolan, Gary Spinelli
  • Cast: Rami Malek, Rachel Brosnahan, Caitriona Balfe, Michael Stuhlbarg, Holt McCallany, Julianne Nicholson, Laurence Fishburne
  • Cinematography: Martin Ruhe
  • Editing: Jonathan Amos
  • Score: Volker Bertelmann
  • Genre: Vigilante action spy
  • Runtime: 123 minutes

Charlie (Rami Malek), a basement-dwelling CIA encryption nerd, is widowed when his wife Sarah (Rachel Brosnahan) is killed in a botched hostage situation during a terror attack at a London hotel. Uncovering workplace corruption on a higher level and knowing nothing will be done in regards to Sarah’s death, Charlie blackmails his superiors to give him basic field preparation in order to seek some retribution.

Blinded by grief, Charlie believes he has what it takes to avenge his spouse. “You couldn’t even beat a 90 year old nun in an arm wrestling match” he’s amusingly told at one point. He struggles to fire a loaded gun. He’s out of his depths. Not completely. He’s scrawny of build, but has the expertise and technology to surveil people and craft explosives. Picture Q undertaking the duties of James Bond. Underestimate weedy tech guys at your peril!

Obviously taking lives is wrong. But you can’t blame Charlie; he’s got this underdog quality; a minnow versus a shiver of sharks. I could not help rooting for him to succeed in his quest for vengeance in the face of unassailable odds.

This approach to the spy/action genre is refreshing. I counted only two short fight sequences (one of which Charlie features in) so overall it’s less brawling, more cat-and-mouse game-oriented, which makes it especially enthralling. Amateur (couple of) hour(s)? Absolutely not. Malek is a fine actor, perfectly cast as the unlikely action star, and there’s strong support from Laurence Fishburne as Charlie’s training mentor. 

My rating: 8 / 10

Restless (2024)

  • Director: Jed Hart
  • Screenplay: Jed Hart
  • Cast: Lyndsey Marshal, Aston McAuley, Barry Ward
  • Cinematography: David Bird
  • Editing: Anna Meller
  • Genre: Thriller dark comedy drama
  • Runtime: 89 minutes

Neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours.

Nicky (Lyndsey Marshal) could only dream for some. She lives alone (her son is at university) in a semi-detached house; the other half used to belong to her deceased parents. Underpaid and underappreciated at her job as a nurse, she spends what little free time she has baking cakes, listening to classical music and watching snooker. Pretty idyllic. Everything changes once next door acquires a new occupant, the aggressive Deano (Aston McAuley). In stark contrast to Nicky, Deano enjoys nothing more than inviting his mates over and blasting obnoxious rave tracks all night. Every night. Relentlessly.

The constant pounding of a bassline invading her bedroom renders poor Nicky an insomniac. She’s become a prisoner inside her own domesticity. A brief respite: a thunderstorm-induced power cut occurs, an exaltation in between bouts of noise pollution. She leaves home one morning and ends up stepping in dog poo, which she assumes is the fault of her neighbour. In a darkly comedic flourish, she scrapes the excrement off her shoe and adds it to her mixing bowl. She presents to Deano: a plate of delicious chocolate treats.

‘Restless‘ is the kind of film that works best in the United Kingdom. If the events had unfolded in an American suburb, Nicky would’ve marched up to Deano’s door and blasted him away with a shotgun after just the first sleepless night. Bang – problem solved. Instead, this is a taut thrill ride where, as the dread gradually mounts, you think things couldn’t get worse…you’re proven wrong. Lyndsey Marshal is fantastic – an underrated actress. Don’t miss it!

My rating: 8 / 10

Novocaine (2025)

  • Director: Dan Berk, Robert Olsen
  • Screenplay: Lars Jacobson
  • Cast: Jack Quaid, Amber Midthunder, Ray Nicholson, Betty Gabriel, Matt Walsh, Jacob Batalon
  • Cinematography: Jacques Jouffret
  • Editing: Christian Wagner
  • Score: Lorne Balfe, Andrew Kawczynski
  • Genre: Action comedy
  • Runtime: 110 minutes

Nathan Caine (Quaid) can’t feel pain. That’s his deal. His special power. He suffers from CIP – a congenital insensitivity to pain. It makes him a superhero of sorts, his identity complete with a name, his middle school moniker: Novocaine, like the anaesthetic drug.

All superheroes have an ordinary life as a cover story. Nathan’s is that he works as an assistant manager at a bank. He’s smitten by his co-worker, Sherry (Midthunder) but when she gets taken hostage by robbers, Nathan takes it upon himself to rescue Sherry, with messy results. Break a leg, Novocaine! (Not that he’d even register if that happened). Nathan needs to remember this condition doesn’t make him immortal so he can’t afford to have too cavalier an attitude. No pain, no gain? Well, not quite in this case.

It’s a delightfully diverting action romp which fully delivers on the madcap premise at every given opportunity. I think I laughed as much as I winced – more than a dozen times. You’d expect to become desensitised to seeing an implement plunging into Nathan’s body after the umpteenth time yet I still recoiled with horror.

There’s plenty of set up at the start to develop the characters enough for you to root for them and great comedic performances from man of the moment Jack Quaid, Midthunder and Ray Nicholson (the spitting image of his father Jack) as the lead goon. As you’d imagine, there’s gobs of gore as Nathan is battered, bruised, burnt and beaten. He’s in hot water – literally at one point, scalding his hand. Ouch!

My rating: 8 / 10

Holland (2025)

  • Director: Mimi Cave
  • Screenplay: Andrew Sodorski
  • Cast: Nicole Kidman, Gael García Bernal, Matthew Macfadyen, Jude Hill
  • Cinematography: Pawel Pogorzelski
  • Editing: Martin Pensa
  • Score: Alex Somers
  • Genre: Psychological thriller
  • Runtime: 108 minutes

Ah, Holland. Tulips aplenty, windmill blades rotating indefatigably, clogs adorn people’s feet. Oh, this isn’t the Holland you’re thinking of. This is Holland, Michigan – a city founded by Dutch Protestants upon arrival in the area in the mid 1800s. A place proud of its heritage, the traditions of their forefathers are still upheld by 21st century residents.

One of these customs is the annual Tulip Time Festival, celebrating the Dutch flower with a costumed parade. In small town America, any excuse to let your hair down isn’t taken – not when so many neighbourhood eyes are watching you and there’s the constant pressure to keep up appearances. Fred and Nancy Vandergroot are notable members of their community – Fred (Macfadyen) is an optometrist whilst Nancy (Kidman) teaches at the local school. They live the picture-perfect existence (cue whimsical score) with their son Harry (Jude Hill, the breakout performance of 2021’s ‘Belfast‘).

Fred takes frequent trips away with ‘work’ so naturally, Nancy gets suspicious of his whereabouts. “Is he having an affair?”, she wonders to her fellow teacher Dave (García Bernal), who she ropes in to help her with an investigation. Nancy and Dave’s *ahem* closeness threatens to overshadow the central mystery but we’re soon back on track looking for clues.

The setting is the year 2000 (as evidenced by pagers and box televisions) but there’s an overhanging feeling of something even more retro (as if 2000 could be considered vintage anyway, don’t make me feel old); Holland has this 60s Americana vibe to it – the town time forgot. Nancy worked so hard to fit in here that doing anything out of line might erase her oh-so-perfect life. It’s no wonder she’s plagued by gloriously hallucinatory nightmares.

Quirkily shot through the use of Fred’s train set and replica model of Holland, Mimi Cave’s film is like a weathered thriller novel; a little frayed at the edges, maybe the last page has been torn out yet it’s worth a read just the same.

My rating: 6 / 10

Opus (2025)

  • Director: Mark Anthony Green
  • Screenplay: Mark Anthony Green
  • Cast: Ayo Edebiri, John Malkovich, Juliette Lewis, Murray Bartlett, Amber Midthunder
  • Cinematography: Tommy Maddox-Upshaw
  • Editing: Ernie Gilbert
  • Score: Danny Bensi, Saunder Jurriaans
  • Genre: Psychological thriller
  • Runtime: 104 minutes

Moretti is back. Three words spark a fire across social media.

Pop icon Alfred Moretti (John Malkovich) returns after a 30 year hiatus with a new record, projected to be the ‘greatest album in history, past or future’ by his fans. They’ve obviously not listened to anything by Yoko Ono.

Music journalist Ariel (Ayo Edebiri, from ‘The Bear‘) is one of six people chosen to attend Moretti’s compound for an exclusive listen to the album. As the group enter through the gates, superfans wait outside to get a glimpse of the man himself. Everyone, bar Ariel, seems to be Moretti-mad; they’re part of a cult.

I didn’t understand the hype either – the songs (in reality created by Nile Rodgers) were forgettable and Moretti didn’t possess any presence worth fawning over. Not Malkovich’s strongest work to date. Maybe he should’ve studied Jim Jones.

This is Mark Anthony Green’s directorial debut; it’s a vivid affair; the sect members clad in blues of different shades (is the colour blue to Moretti what purple was to Prince?). The stage is set for your bog standard thriller; creepy children, a disturbing puppet show, a sense of dread pervading the air.

However, I’m not too sure what Green is trying to say with this project. Cults are bad? Okay. Is this a satire on the obsessive nature of music aficionados? If so, he could’ve made a documentary about Taylor Swift stans instead. Edebiri turns in a good performance, the score adds to the uneasiness and up-and-comer Amber Midthunder is terrifying as Ariel’s concierge, assigned to be a human shadow. If there was a deeper meaning, it got lost in the unnecessary violence.

My rating: 5 / 10

Black Bag (2025)

  • Director: Steven Soderbergh
  • Screenplay: David Koepp
  • Cast: Cate Blanchett, Michael Fassbender, Marisa Abela, Tom Burke, Naomie Harris, Regé-Jean Page, Pierce Brosnan
  • Cinematography: Steven Soderbergh
  • Editing: Mary Ann Bernard
  • Score: David Holmes
  • Genre: Spy thriller
  • Runtime: 94 minutes

Many couples enjoy a little gossip about the neighbours in bed. Or discuss suburban trivialities: “Did you remember to put the bins out?”

But what if the pair are special agents? I can imagine the conversation going along the lines of: “And who did you take out today?” – “Oh, just some Iranian terrorist clutching a hand grenade. Nothing wild.”. An interesting dynamic; more undercover, less under the covers.

A few topics are off-limits. They can’t share everything with one another. The code words for terminating such conversations: ‘black bag’. The only way they could operate as a couple is by a rule of silence when any questions should arise and a foundation of faith in their relationship.

There’s a mole in the organisation. Intelligence agent George (Michael Fassbender) has 5 suspects to sort through to find the traitor. One of these people is his wife, Kathryn (Cate Blanchett). Does she have in it her to betray her country? To deceive her husband? She’s loyal to him; she’d kill for him. But would she tell him the truth?

A stellar lineup of supporting players; Marisa Abela, Tom Burke, Naomie Harris, Regé-Jean Page. Each of them is a flawed character – though it’s worth noting how Kathryn’s devotion to her partner is not so much an asset as a weakness. Ripe for exploitation.

Amazing camerawork from director Steven Soderbergh, especially the dinner scene near the start where George assembles the group around the table to ‘throw the stone and watch the ripples’, with the lighting adding a touch of intimacy. ‘Black Bag‘ is twisty like a serpent with plenty of bite. Bitesize too, at 94 minutes. I’m planning on seeing it twice; a single viewing wasn’t enough to absorb all the dialogue and nuance.

My rating: 8 / 10

Marching Powder (2025)

  • Director: Nick Love
  • Screenplay: Nick Love
  • Cast: Danny Dyer, Stephanie Leonidas, Calum MacNab
  • Cinematography: Simon Stolland
  • Editing: Pani Scott
  • Score: Alfie Godfrey
  • Genre: Comedy
  • Runtime: 96 minutes

Ah, the ‘c word’. Not ‘cocaine’, on display in copious amounts here. Nor is it ‘cockney’. Or ‘cringe’, though that fits best. I shan’t spell out the real word – if you want to hear it fired in quick succession like a machine gun with Tourette’s, go see ‘Marching Powder‘; it’s about an absolute sod, Jack Jones (Danny Dyer), who has an addiction to drugs and zero self-control. He has a wife too, treated like an afterthought. What she sees in him is anyone’s guess.

Following a brawl with rival football supporters, Jack faces a prison sentence unless he can prove to the court he can turn his life around. What does he do? He picks another fight. He snorts another line of crack. Every time he comes within a 5 mile radius of cleaning up his act, he self-sabotages, paying his old friend nose candy a visit. So much coke was inhaled, I was worried he’d end up resembling Danniella Westbrook.

Danny Dyer is definitely no actor, his fourth wall breaks make it seem as if he’s presenting his life story, if it were the most pathetic biography ever told. A Wikipedia entry doesn’t even exist (at time of writing), as if to say ‘we don’t wish to soil our site with this filth’.

This movie didn’t do anything for me. Wait, that’s not strictly true – it polluted my ears with its incessant swearing. It’s the type of thing that would appeal to a certain ilk; the beer swigging, non-woke men you’d find chanting and cheering their favourite footy team at the pub with the lads.

The short runtime of 96 minutes felt like a stretch; we get it – he’s a loser beyond the point of redemption. It reminded me of something I flushed down the toilet. Did not leave me in ‘high spirits’.

My rating: 3 / 10

Heart Eyes (2025)

  • Director: Josh Ruben
  • Screenplay: Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
  • Cast: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster
  • Cinematography: Stephen Murphy
  • Editing: Brett W. Bachman
  • Score: Jay Wadley
  • Genre: Romantic comedy slasher
  • Runtime: 97 minutes

We have slashers for nearly every holiday – Halloween (obviously), Christmas (‘Terrifier 3‘, ‘Black Christmas‘), St. Patrick’s Day (the ‘Leprechaun‘ series), even Thanksgiving (with 2023’s film baring the name of said celebration). It’s about time we got a Valentine’s Day-themed horror flick, the concept is ripe for exploitation.

The Heart Eyes Killer (HEK for short), so called because of the heart-shaped eye sockets on the stitched-up mask they wear, has been terrorising cities in the U.S. for the last two years. Their modus operandi: butchering only those in relationships. Singletons fear not!

Advertising executive Ally (Olivia Holt), who is newly single, bumps heads (literally) with the impossibly suave Jay (Mason Gooding, son of Cuba Gooding Jr. – Mason must get his looks from his mum) at a coffee shop. Later on, Ally meets her ex and his new girlfriend, and to save face in an awkward situation, pretends Jay is her boyfriend. She kisses him to prove her point. But this is witnessed by Heart Eyes who mistakes them for a genuine couple.

The dialogue is the highlight, it’s snappy and some real zingers are thrown around. Two of the supporting actors steal the movie from under the leads’ noses; Gigi Zumbado as Ally’s friend/co-worker, and Michaela Watkins as their boss Crystal Cane – they both have such onscreen charm and deliver their lines with pizzazz.

I actually really enjoyed it, but I felt it came undone thanks to the uber theatrical resolution. The cinema was full of twosomes on date nights when I went to see it; I’m pretty sure I was the only one sitting on their own. If Heart Eyes is purely on the hunt for couples, I count myself relieved.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Monkey (2025)

  • Director: Osgood Perkins
  • Screenplay: Osgood Perkins
  • Cast: Theo James, Tatiana Maslany, Christian Convery, Colin O’Brien, Rohan Campbell, Sarah Levy, Adam Scott, Elijah Wood
  • Cinematography: Nico Aguilar
  • Editing: Greg Ng, Graham Fortin
  • Score: Edo Van Breemen
  • Genre: Comedy horror
  • Runtime: 98 minutes

Coming only 7 months after his last feature, ‘Longlegs’, Osgood Perkins returns with a tale of murder and mayhem all caused by a toy monkey. Y’know, one of those insanely creepy monkeys with the drum kits. It’s not a toy though, it’s a killing machine. Every time someone winds it up, certain death shall follow. And always the most gruesome, chaotic deaths, giving ‘Final Destination’ a run for its money. It’s comedically over-the-top, but that’s the intention.

When their pilot father brings the monkey back from a trip elsewhere, twins Hal and Bill (both played by Christian Convery) discover the curse at the expense of innocent family members. A decent chunk of the movie is devoted to the boys’ childhood living in the shadow of constant expiration, as opposed to a rushed 5 minute recollection of their backstories. 25 years later, the brothers (now played by Theo James), are estranged, meanwhile the monkey is out there…lurking…because evil never dies.

Perkins seems to have an obsession with death but if you research his own parentage, you understand what makes him tick. His dad was Anthony Perkins of ‘Psycho’ fame, who died from AIDS-related pneumonia. His mother, Berry Berenson, an actress and model, was killed in a plane crash – a victim of 9/11, no less. The latter being totally preventable in a ‘sliding doors’ moment, say if Ms. Berenson had woken up late that morning and missed the flight. The movie’s message of ‘accidents happen’ becomes even more significant.

It’s certainly miles better than ‘Longlegs‘, which I found to be dreary and unimaginative. This may be due to the source material; the plot of ‘The Monkey‘ is based on a Stephen King short story. Hang around for a post-credits scene teasing Perkins’ next project, ‘Keeper’, set for release in October. He’s on a (drum) roll.

My rating: 7 / 10

Love Hurts (2025)

  • Director: Jonathan Eusebio
  • Screenplay: Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, Luke Passmore
  • Cast: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, André Eriksen, Sean Astin
  • Cinematography: Bridger Nielson
  • Editing: Elísabet Ronaldsdóttir
  • Score: Dominic Lewis
  • Genre: Action comedy
  • Runtime: 83 minutes

Marvin Gable (Quan) has the perfect white picket fence existence; he bakes heart-shaped cookies, wears awful sweaters and his job as a realtor brings him the respect of the community. From almost everyone anyway, aside from a vandal defacing his advertisements. This person is Rose (DeBose), a reminder from Marvin’s previous occupation as an assassin, who he was sweet on. Her appearance on the scene threatens his chance at living an ordinary life as with her return comes his estranged brother Alvin ‘Knuckles’ Gable, seeking revenge for a past misdeed. ‘Love Hurts‘ is born of the same production line as ‘Nobody‘, another story of the ‘average Joe with a secret history as a killer’ so you know what to expect here.

Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan is a delight; a hybrid of adorkable charm and nifty fighting abilities. Ariana DeBose, on the other hand, is underused yet again – so soon after her talents were squandered in ‘Kraven the Hunter‘. The blend of comedy and action is inoffensive; if only the jokes hit as hard as the punches did. The muddled plot (stolen money, familial conflicts) is a distraction from what could be something much more fun than what the finished product turned out to be.

Heavily marketed as a Valentine’s Day date night movie through the overuse of the love heart motif, there’s a distinct lack of affection. I suggest you book tickets to see the latest installment in the ‘Bridget Jones‘ series in which you’re certainly guaranteed a bucketful of romance.

Love hurts, doesn’t it? Well this hurt my sensibilities.

My rating: 4 / 10

September 5 (2024)

  • Director: Tim Fehlbaum
  • Screenwriter: Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum, Alex David
  • Cast: Peter Sarsgaard, John Magaro, Ben Chaplin, Leonie Benesch
  • Cinematography: Markus Förderer
  • Editing: Hansjörg Weißbrich
  • Score: Lorenz Dangel
  • Genre: Historical drama thriller
  • Runtime: 94 minutes

September 5th 1972. The eyes of the globe are on Munich, host city of the Summer Olympic Games, the first of such to be broadcast live (and in colour). It’s a Germany keen to improve their image post-World War II. The Palestinian terrorist organisation, Black September, have other ideas, taking the Israeli team hostage whilst demanding the freedom of Palestinian prisoners.

Unlike Steven Spielberg’s ‘Munich’, which focused on the revenge assassinations carried out by Mossad agents against those suspected of being Arab militants in the years after, the compelling ‘September 5’ delves right into the frenzy of the situation from the perspective of the ABC Sports crew tasked with broadcasting the Olympics; their job transformed from transmitting major moments like swimming champion Mark Spitz’s gold medal win to a mad scramble to report the unfolding drama before a rival TV channel can.

The timing of the film couldn’t be more apt – the thorny Arab-Israel conflict is still raging on, 50 years plus. As we witness events from the point of view of television staffers, we’re on neutral ground. What unfolds is a tragedy no matter what your religious/political leanings may be.

The time period is authentically captured; detuned lenses and the use of analogue technology – the workers had to do things painstakingly by hand, making their efforts all the more impressive (a whopping 900 million viewers watched the coverage). The lack of any ‘big name stars’ (aside from maybe Peter Sarsgaard) helps add an additional level of genuineness; almost as if these are real people thrown into circumstances they didn’t think they’d be dealing with when they woke up that morning.

It really was a ‘black’ September – 11 members of the Israeli Olympic sports team were killed (6 coaches and 5 athletes), as well as a German police officer.

My rating: 8 / 10

Wolf Man (2025)

  • Director: Leigh Whannell
  • Screenplay: Leigh Whannell, Corbett Tuck
  • Cast: Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger
  • Cinematography: Stefan Duscio
  • Editing: Andy Canny
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Horror
  • Runtime: 103 minutes

When writer Blake Lovell (Christopher Abbott) takes his workaholic wife, Charlotte (Julia Garner), and their daughter Ginger to the Oregon mountains where he spent his childhood to reconnect as a family unit away from the bustle of city life, the last thing he’d appreciate is being menaced by a werewolf.

On route things get hairy: Blake swerves off the road after seeing a humanoid figure standing there. In the aftermath of the crash, he’s slashed by a ‘wild animal’. Cue the standard transformation: a few hours later, he has become the titular ‘Wolf Man’. It’s a reboot of the classic Universal Pictures horror of 1941, given a modern day setting. The film is standalone, the plotted interconnected ‘Dark Universe‘ franchise featuring iconic ghouls such as Frankenstein’s Monster and Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde having been scrapped in favour of one-off projects, like 2020’s ‘The Invisible Man‘ (also directed by Leigh Whannell).

By keeping it simple in terms of plot and location (one isolated farmhouse), this means there’s less material to work with. Once her husband turns into a wolf, all Charlotte really gets to do now is be chased through a pitch-black forest. So what? Your husband’s a werewolf? Big deal. I’ve known men with more body hair than that.

Trippy visuals where the camera slowly pans around to see events from Blake’s perspective grab your attention for a handful of seconds but this is your typical ‘January Jinx’ movie; predictably low quality and sent out by the studio to die. What a howler.

My rating: 4 / 10

Here (2024)

  • Director: Robert Zemeckis
  • Screenplay: Eric Roth, Robert Zemeckis
  • Cast: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Paul Bettany, Kelly Reilly
  • Cinematography: Don Burgess
  • Editing: Jesse Goldsmith
  • Score: Alan Silvestri
  • Genre: Drama
  • Runtime: 104 minutes

One house – various occupants. We observe multiple generations in a single space, even before the construction of the building (in a sequence involving the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs) – all the drama unfolds within the same four walls, the camera positioned at the corner of the living room as a constant.

The main focus through the decades is the Young family, primarily Richard and his wife Margaret (Tom Hanks and Robin Wright, respectively), and by extension Richard’s parents, his war veteran father (Paul Bettany) and mother (Kelly Reilly). We catch glimpses of other eras; a budding aviator in the early 1900s, a free-spirited wartime couple, ultimately reaching the 2020s (as evidenced by face masks and elbow-bumping).

The storytelling is non-linear – as we hop between times (as depicted by décor and music), a white-outlined square appears onscreen and holds the action inside as everything else in shot gradually shifts around. It’s a little scattered but I appreciate the inventive device to change the environment from one time period to another.

‘Here’ reunites the team behind Academy Award favourite ‘Forrest Gump’; director Robert Zemeckis, screenwriter Eric Roth, actors Hanks and Wright, plus composer Alan Silvestri for a kindred jaunt into pop culture history.

For ethical reasons, I believe the so-called ‘digital de-aging’ used should be forbidden; it makes people look like they’re in a video game cutscene. This unconvincing technology only hinders the film when the characters are in the foreground, which is a small portion of the runtime but jarring nonetheless. You’re expecting me to suspend my disbelief and imagine Tom Hanks is playing a 20-something year old despite having the vocal tones of someone triple his age. It’s tantamount to casting grown adults to play teenagers.

Life is celebrated here – the bliss shared, the hardships suffered, births, deaths, ad infinitum; and while sappy, it’s coming from the right place.

My rating: 7 / 10

A Real Pain (2024)

  • Director: Jesse Eisenberg
  • Screenplay: Jesse Eisenberg
  • Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran Culkin, Will Sharpe, Jennifer Grey
  • Cinematography: Michal Dymek
  • Editing: Robert Nassau
  • Genre: Buddy road comedy-drama
  • Runtime: 90 minutes

You wouldn’t think the combination of a comedy-drama and a tour of a concentration camp would work but under the deft writing of Jesse Eisenberg (who also directs and stars), the two opposing forces of humour and sorrow don’t swamp each other; the former is used effectively to balance out the heavy subject matter.

A pair of American Jewish cousins, David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin, often hilarious) embark on a trip to Poland to honour the memory of their recently deceased grandmother. As part of a group of fellow Jews, they visit the Grodzka Gate, the Old Jewish Cemetery and lastly, the Majdanek concentration camp. But for the boys, their final stop is to see their gran’s house to reconnect with their roots.

Benji is gregarious, with no filter and wears his heart on his sleeve. By contrast, David is more reserved, uptight and envious of Benji’s effortless ability to integrate himself socially. The duo are both grieving for their grandmother – David doesn’t display it as externally, but that’s the nature of grief; we all process it in our own unique ways, it doesn’t make the feeling less valid than someone who was bawling their eyes out.

Their pain is a microcosm of the horrors their forebears endured, which really puts things in perspective – what is a ‘real‘ pain exactly? As the bunch are travelling first class on a train, Benji makes a thoughtful point about how they live in luxury while their ancestors were treated like cattle, suffering in terrible agony during the Holocaust.

When the group visit the Warsaw Uprising Monument (which depicts courageous Polish World War II resistance fighters), the tour guide highlights the fact these bronze men are striking back, not being meekly led to their deaths – a reminder of a show of strength in the face of antisemitism.

An interesting look at personal anguish, well acted throughout by the two leads.

My rating: 8 / 10

Kraven the Hunter (2024)

  • Director: J.C. Chandor
  • Screenplay: Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway
  • Cast: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, Fred Hechinger, Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Abbott, Russell Crowe
  • Cinematography: Ben Davis
  • Editing: Chris Lebenzon, Craig Wood
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch, Evgueni Galperine, Sacha Galperine
  • Genre: Superhero
  • Runtime: 127 minutes

Sony’s Spider-Man Universe (the SSU for short) has paled in comparison to Marvel’s MCU and even DC’s DCEU (which had its fair share of duds). With only six films in its catalog, ‘Kraven the Hunter‘ is the final nail in the coffin, following on from the disastrous ‘Madame Web‘ earlier this year, which left the SSU on life support, and while the ‘Venom‘ series was popular, each entry was noticeably weaker than the previous.

‘Kraven‘ was actually filmed in 2022, and now released after multiple delays. There’s an air of doom hanging over this movie; as if it’s an imperilled afterthought – the makers didn’t really care about it to put any actual effort in. And it shows; a half-baked plot, underdeveloped characters and underutilised superpowers (the ability to slow down time, chameleon-like mimicry).

Our titular hero (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), the son of a Russian gangster (Russell Crowe, playing the epitome of toxic masculinity), learns of his mother’s suicide in his teenagehood. His way of grieving: running away from home and spending 16 years in the Siberian wilderness, seemingly able to fend for himself. Another inexplicable thing to happen to him: he was mauled by a lion and resurrected with voodoo. Okay then. In the present day, he spends his days hunting poachers and other threats to nature, he’s something of an animal lover. He has a list of targets – the one way to get off it…is death.

Mr. Taylor-Johnson (a future James Bond?) has rarely taken the lead in the latter half of his career, not since his ‘Kick-Ass‘ era; he’s more of a supporting actor in films (‘Tenet‘, ‘Bullet Train‘, ‘The Fall Guy‘). This being his moment to shine in a leading capacity – and he’s wasted. I’m sure he was ‘kraven’ a project worth his energy.

Once the big bad has inevitably been dispatched, there’s a little bit at the end setting up a sequel…which is obviously not going ahead. Just a squandering of resources from everyone involved. Usually with these superhero blockbusters, there’s a post-credits scene to decipher. With ‘Kraven‘, none exist, probably because the writers thought nobody would stick around long enough to find out.

My rating: 4 / 10

Nightbitch (2024)

  • Director: Marielle Heller
  • Screenplay: Marielle Heller
  • Cast: Amy Adams, Scoot McNairy, Zoe Chao, Mary Holland, Ella Thomas, Archana Rajan, Jessica Harper
  • Cinematography: Brandon Trost
  • Editing: Anne McCabe
  • Score: Nate Heller
  • Genre: Black comedy
  • Runtime: 98 minutes

An unnamed mother (Amy Adams) to a messy 2 year-old boy wrestles with her feelings of inadequacy in her current situation; by becoming a mum, she’s had to give up her fruitful career as an artist. Could she have her cake and eat it? It doesn’t seem like that was an option; she has a husband, but he’s frequently away on work trips. Thus, she no longer feels her creative juices flowing, or even recognises who she is anymore. So far, so normal. One night though, she spots white hair growing on her back. Her teeth are sharper, and her sense of smell is heightened – she is literally transforming into a dog. Seriously.

The premise makes it sound way dafter than it actually is. I mean, it is often barking mad – I sat, mouth agape, as six-time Oscar nominee Adams dug a hole in her garden with her bare hands. Or when she growled at people in an upmarket restaurant. It’s a fearless performance, a round of a-paws to her for taking on such a bold and bizarre project, and having the confidence to deliver the line: “I could crush a walnut with my vagina.” without bursting into hysterics.

With Marielle Heller’s (the brilliant ‘Can You Ever Forgive Me?‘) skilful direction, it doesn’t end up as a dog’s dinner; it embraces the wacky concept with gusto. Thematically, it deals with motherhood and the notion of femininity head-on, celebrating women as life-givers, as the strongest of beings. The whole canine element turns the hackneyed ‘frazzled mother’ trope on its head, with many comic moments. It’s fur-fetched, but with meaning. We’re all animals deep down under the skin amidst the trappings of human life.

As the Helen Reddy song goes: “I am woman, hear me roar.” Well, in this case, growl.

My rating: 7 / 10

Conclave (2024)

  • Director: Edward Berger
  • Screenplay: Peter Straughan
  • Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto, Isabella Rossellini
  • Cinematography: Stéphane Fontaine
  • Editing: Nick Emerson
  • Score: Volker Bertelmann
  • Genre: Mystery thriller
  • Runtime: 120 minutes

Similar to how a potential president of the United States needs 270 electoral votes to win, a cardinal requires a specific number of votes to become the next Pope. This process is laborious and can take several days if the first round of voting doesn’t yield a clear winner. And like the aforementioned political election, it can get just as tangled; secrets are drawn out, accusations are flung around.

Featuring a top-tier cast – Misters Fiennes, Tucci and Lithgow as cardinals and Isabella Rossellini as a steely-eyed nun, ‘Conclave‘ is an incredibly engrossing watch – you never know who you can quite trust. Every cardinal has their foibles, some hold antiquated opinions – but where do you draw the line on who is honourable enough for the papacy?

It’s a fascinating look at a system so hidden from public view. Behind closed doors, the formalities are treated with the utmost sanctity and the level of secrecy puts me in mind of a holy Fort Knox. This film may be the only way us regular folk could ever bear witness to such events unfolding.

I liked cinematographer Stephane Fontaine’s use of empty space; I felt it heightened the isolation of the clergy from the outside world, as they’re already in seclusion for this conclave. Does the church have relevancy in modern times? It’s remarkable that this ostentatious, theatrical ceremony still occurs in the 21st century – it feels almost out of place in a digital era. There’s one particular shot of a cardinal clutching an iPhone, perhaps representing the church’s feeble attempt to keep up with the times. Fontaine also has an eye for colour; the red cassocks dominating the pale marble halls of the Sistine Chapel.

I would’ve given this my fabled 9/10 rating (I don’t give 10s, perfection is unattainable), but the twist at the end (bound to rile a few Catholics) came out of nowhere and completely threw me, with little resolution.

My rating: 8 / 10

Blitz (2024)

  • Director: Steve McQueen
  • Screenwriter: Steve McQueen
  • Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Harris Dickinson, Elliot Heffernan, Benjamin Clementine, Kathy Burke, Paul Weller, Stephen Graham
  • Cinematography: Yorick Le Saux
  • Editing: Peter Sciberras
  • Score: Hans Zimmer
  • Genre: Historical war drama
  • Runtime: 120 minutes

London 1940: the city is being pounded continuously by German bombs. A war zone is not the best environment for children so Rita (Saoirse Ronan, flawless Cockney accent) sends her mixed-race son George (Elliot Heffernan) to the safety of the English countryside along with other evacuated kids, but so reluctant is he to be separated from his family, he throws himself off the moving train. We follow him on his exhilarating journey back to the fiery hellscape London has degenerated into, meanwhile, his mother desperately searches for him, having been notified of his disappearance in transit.

George’s adventure home acts as an exploration of his racial identity with the help of kindly air raid warden Ife (Benjamin Clementine). George is isolated from his peers in the respect that he’s braved this daring voyage all on his own but also detached from them due to their appalling racist taunts (the adults aren’t setting a good example though). This treatment of people based on their skin color by a select few in the UK mirrors the fascistic behaviour of Nazi Germany, although in the latter country, the persecution of persons of colour resulted in their deaths. So much for the famed wartime ‘Blitz Spirit’, where Brits of different creeds were supposed to band together stoically with a sense of morale and forge ahead as a single nation, undivided.

The film is incredibly relevant to modern times; the imagery, particularly one aerial shot of London post-bombing, could easily be mistaken for Gaza or Kyiv in 2024. A frenetic opening sequence taking place immediately after a bomb has hit simulates journalists’ footage from the front line; it’s art sadly imitating life.

Director/writer Steve McQueen has created a harrowing portrait of war-torn Britain – within it a powerful statement on racial identity in a country not fully embracing of ethnic minorities – bolstered by Hans Zimmer’s score and impeccable period detail.

My rating: 8 / 10

Small Things like These (2024)

  • Director: Tim Mielants
  • Screenwriter: Enda Walsh
  • Cast: Cillian Murphy, Eileen Walsh, Michelle Fairley, Emily Watson, Clare Dunne, Helen Behan
  • Cinematography: Frank van den Eeden
  • Editing: Alain Dessauvage
  • Score: Senjan Jansen
  • Genre: Historical drama
  • Runtime: 98 minutes

Based on Claire Keegan’s Orwell Prize-winning novel, ‘Small Things like These‘ deals with a dirty big stain on Ireland’s history – the Magdalene laundries. These institutions, run by the church, took in ‘fallen women’ (such as unmarried mothers or prostitutes) and effectively held them prisoner, forcing them to work till the point of collapse. Unbelievably, this form of modern slavery was still occurring until 1998 (almost the 21st century!), the year the last laundry closed down.

The film looks at events from an outsider’s perspective, and a male one too, which I found a curious choice. Coal merchant Bill Furlong (Cillian Murphy, in his first role post-Oscars win) is preparing for Christmas with his wife and five daughters when he discovers a young woman cowering in the shed next to the local convent. By alerting the nuns to her existence, he’s pretty much led her into captivity. Consequently, Bill silently wrestles with feelings of guilt – did he do the right thing by her? She’ll have a roof over her head, be fed and ‘looked after’. He knows what the nuns are up to – everybody does. It’s an open secret. But nobody dares challenge them as they’re too influential in the community. Bill is also plagued by flashbacks of his mother’s death when he was a boy – she too was a ‘fallen women’ (an unmarried mother) yet she was taken in by a kind-hearted lady (Michelle Fairley), allowing her to raise her son comfortably.

Murphy gives a superbly haunted performance; you can see the trauma in his eyes, while Emily Watson is unnerving as the Mother Superior of the convent. It’s bleak and hard-hitting. I feel as though Ireland is only just beginning to process this shameful chapter in its past. An overdue dedication to the 56,000 women (and the babies) lost to the Magdalene laundries between 1922 and 1998 appears at the end while the sound of crows cawing and children giggling plays over the closing credits, adding a certain chill.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Front Room (2024)

  • Director: Max Eggers, Sam Eggers
  • Screenwriter: Max Eggers, Sam Eggers
  • Cast: Brandy, Kathryn Hunter, Andrew Burnap, Neal Huff
  • Cinematography: Ava Berkofsky
  • Editing: Benjamin Rodriguez Jr., Eric Kissack
  • Score: Marcelo Zarvos
  • Genre: Psychological horror
  • Runtime: 95 minutes

When his father dies, Norman (Andrew Burnap) and his expectant wife Belinda (Brandy, the singer) are requested to take in his stepmother Solange as per his father’s will, if they do so they’ll benefit from her large inheritance and given that they’re in dire straits financially, they really have no choice. Solange (Kathryn Hunter) is a religious zealot that would make Mother Teresa look like a heathen. She also openly shares her entrenched racist views at the dinner table, clashing with Belinda (or ‘Belinder’ as she calls her).

So: money troubles, a baby on the way and the mother-in-law from hell…not exactly a picture-perfect marital home. Solange is incontinent (if that didn’t worsen an already awful situation) – she’s soiling herself every 5 seconds, seemingly to spite Belinda. Norman refuses to get his hands dirty (literally), always running off to work when things are messy. And Solange’s fervent religiousness has a supernatural effect on the household. Holy moly.

Brandy gives an underpowered performance – conversely, Kathryn Hunter absolutely devours the scenery as the monster-in-law, embarrassingly so (this is an actress who’s done Shakespeare at the Globe Theatre). It’s more of an unintended comedy than the ‘psychological horror’ it set out to be. There’s a million Les Dawson jokes about his mother-in-law but this movie is funnier than all of them (not saying much though). In fact, it’s the cinematic equivalent of hot garbage. Praise the lord it’s only 95 minutes long.

Why didn’t Belinda just shove the old bat down the stairs as soon as she could? It wouldn’t have been the first time Brandy had killed someone…

My rating: 3 / 10

Terrifier 3 (2024)

  • Director: Damien Leone
  • Screenplay: Damien Leone
  • Cast: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Elliott Fullam, Samantha Scaffidi
  • Cinematography: George Steuber
  • Editing: Damien Leone
  • Score: Paul Wiley
  • Genre: Christmas supernatural slasher
  • Runtime: 125 minutes

Silent night, holy fright!

Who’s dressed in a suit and got a big bag full of treats for all the good boys and girls? Santa Claus? Hell no! It’s Art the Clown!

In this Christmas-flavoured third entry in the cult slasher franchise, Art’s back to finish what he started in the previous movie – to kill ‘final girl’ Sienna Shaw. Set five years after Sienna’s first tangle with the killer clown, she’s recently been released from psychiatric care and recuperating at her aunt and uncle’s house.

The kills are gruesomely inventive as ever and the stomach-churning practical effects would make Tom Savini proud (he actually has a cameo as a eyewitness on television news). There’s a scattering of darkly amusing moments; one especially seasonal – Art making blood angels instead of those of snow.

My main problem is with Art the Clown. Though visually creepy and certainly a welcome addition to the modern horror movie villain canon, I find his execution flawed. If you’re going to do the whole ‘silent but deadly’ thing, constantly gurning and scowling means I won’t be able to take you seriously. And maybe that’s the point; he’s meant to be a little goofy. But herein lies another issue – if you’re a deliberately campy character (à la Freddy Krueger), at least have enough panache to pull it off – Krueger could do his over-the-top shtick and terrible one-liners AND still be genuinely terrifying. Adding an accomplice into the mix in the form of Vicky, the deranged survivor of ‘Terrifier 1‘, detracts from Art’s presence and power as the big bad, too.

The unnecessary supernatural elements in the plot are a distraction from what could’ve been a more straightforward gore-fest, tipping an already pretty silly story into the territory of the downright ridiculous.

My rating: 6 / 10

Twisters (2024)

  • Director: Lee Isaac Chung
  • Screenplay: Mark L. Smith
  • Cast: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, Brandon Perea, Maura Tierney, Sasha Lane
  • Cinematographer: Dan Mindel
  • Editing: Terilyn A. Shropshire
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Disaster
  • Runtime: 122 minutes

In a Hollywood devoid of original ideas, they’ve plumped to make another movie about tornadoes. In fairness, it’s a major worry in the States so the concept isn’t so ridiculous I guess. This standalone sequel to ‘Twister‘ (1996) sees our leads Kate (Daisy Edgar-Jones), a meteorologist, and Tyler (Glen Powell) a suave ‘tornado wrangler’ and social media star as they both set out to hunt a storm for different reasons. Tyler seeks the thrill (and the YouTube ‘clicks’) that comes with the chase in contrast to Kate, who wants to test a new high-tech device (amusingly nicknamed ‘Dorothy’ in a reference to the gadget in the antecedent film and also the character in ‘The Wizard of Oz‘) that potentially has the power to dissipate a tornado. So of course, she needs to recklessly drive right up to a twister and take readings from it. Sounds like a suicide mission to me. Well, at least she’s not throwing a nuke into the storm and hoping for the best.

There’s a couple of very subtle references to climate change but thankfully this is no lecture on environmental concern; otherwise people would leave the cinema in bored droves. It’s more of a science lesson – one that’s thoroughly enjoyable though. Scientific terms are tossed around a little, but the somewhat confusing jargon should go over your head. We get the gist – they’re bustin’ tornadoes.

Aided by a jaunty country music soundtrack and some top-notch CGI effects of the mighty windstorms, ‘Twisters‘ is entertaining while still retaining an emotional side; whereas the first movie dealt with a couple’s separation, this deals with the loss of loves ones and the devastation the storms wreak on small communities.

A whirlwind of an adventure!

My rating: 7 / 10

In a Violent Nature (2024)

  • Director: Chris Nash
  • Screenplay: Chris Nash
  • Cast: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic, Lauren-Marie Taylor
  • Cinematographer: Pierce Derks
  • Editing: Alex Jacobs
  • Genre: Slasher
  • Runtime: 94 minutes

I can’t think of another slasher film that follows the point of view of the killer themselves. In this gory flick, we observe our seemingly indestructible central figure from behind as he plod-plod-plods around the Ontario woods, slaughtering everyone in his path. It takes this format for the majority of the duration, save for the scenes focusing on a bunch of teenagers camping in the wilderness whom our mutilator hunts down person by person. I feel there’s little tension or threat because, for the most part, you can probably tell how things are going to pan out. I mean, axe-wielding murderer versus a group of teens; I wonder…? Also, you can’t exactly kill off the ‘main’ character in a flash or that’d be it over, right?

The title interests me; the word ‘nature’ is used in two ways. One alludes to emotionless killing having been woven into his psyche, and his inability to change this mindset. The other relates to the ecosystem; on display abundantly here as we take a slow burn adventure through the Canadian forests. It almost seems as though the murderer himself constitutes part of the landscape, given that he wakes up from beneath the forest floor at the start.

The gradual pace requires a bit of patience – something some audiences are perhaps lacking these days due to a culture of instant gratification. However, there’s no real payoff for being persistent and nothing new in slasher qualities but I do appreciate the fresh approach taken with the shift of perspective.

Warning: do not watch this immediately after you’ve eaten.

My rating: 5 / 10