• Director: Jonathan Eusebio
• Screenplay: Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, Luke Passmore
• Cast: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, André Eriksen, Sean Astin
• Cinematography: Bridger Nielson
• Editing: Elísabet Ronaldsdóttir
• Score: Dominic Lewis
• Genre: Action comedy
• Runtime: 83 minutes

Marvin Gable (Quan) has the perfect white picket fence existence; he bakes heart-shaped cookies, wears awful sweaters and his job as a realtor brings him the respect of the community. From almost everyone anyway, aside from a vandal defacing his advertisements. This person is Rose (DeBose), a reminder from Marvin’s previous occupation as an assassin, who he was sweet on. Her appearance on the scene threatens his chance at living an ordinary life as with her return comes his estranged brother Alvin ‘Knuckles’ Gable, seeking revenge for a past misdeed. ‘Love Hurts‘ is born of the same production line as ‘Nobody‘, another story of the ‘average Joe with a secret history as a killer’ so you know what to expect here.

Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan is a delight; a hybrid of adorkable charm and nifty fighting abilities. Ariana DeBose, on the other hand, is underused yet again – so soon after her talents were squandered in ‘Kraven the Hunter‘. The blend of comedy and action is inoffensive; if only the jokes hit as hard as the punches did. The muddled plot (stolen money, familial conflicts) is a distraction from what could be something much more fun than what the finished product turned out to be.

Heavily marketed as a Valentine’s Day date night movie through the overuse of the love heart motif, there’s a distinct lack of affection. I suggest you book tickets to see the latest installment in the ‘Bridget Jones‘ series in which you’re certainly guaranteed a bucketful of romance.

Love hurts, doesn’t it? Well this hurt my sensibilities.

My rating: 4 / 10