Tag: horror

The Woman in Cabin 10 (2025)

  • Director: Simon Stone
  • Screenplay: Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse, Simon Stone
  • Cast: Keira Knightley, Guy Pearce, David Ajala, Art Malik
  • Cinematography: Ben Davis
  • Editing: Katie Weiland, Mark Day
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Psychological thriller
  • Runtime: 95 minutes

A notable journalist, Laura (Keira Knightley), is invited on a cruise aboard a luxury yacht by a dying billionaire. She accepts the invite, needing to clear her mind after witnessing the murder of the source of a previous article, and also because the terminally ill philanthropist has set up a new charity worth covering.

During Laura’s first night on the superyacht, she overhears an argument coming from the neighbouring cabin. Then a splash. Laura peeks her head over the railing and thinks she’s seen someone in the water. Adamant that that’s the case, Laura refuses to let it go, quickly becoming the pariah among the other guests as she hunts for the truth. Her recent trauma is brought up as an excuse for her behaviour, a prime example of gaslighting.

It’s not just Laura who is the victim of being gaslit; it’s us viewers too. The twist in the tale is so ridiculous it’s insulting. One could argue that none of the characters are attuned to the surrounding events as they’re too self-absorbed. My eyes were glued to the screen for the build-up but the more I watched, and thought about afterwards, the more points I want to deduct from my rating. This seafaring ‘The Lady Vanishes‘ has a plothole so huge, it threatens to sink the boat.

Most of the big name cast feel like they’re there to fill a contractual obligation. Hannah Waddingham, David Morrissey and Kaya Scodelario appear onscreen for a scant amount of minutes, as does Gugu Mbatha-Raw, bookending the film as Laura’s boss.

Maybe Laura did see something hurled overboard – it was me, escaping such fatuousness.

My rating: 5 / 10

Frankenstein (2025)

  • Director: Guillermo del Toro
  • Screenplay: Guillermo del Toro
  • Cast: Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz, Christian Convery, Charles Dance, David Bradley, Lars Mikkelsen
  • Cinematography: Dan Laustsen
  • Editing: Evan Schiff
  • Score: Alexandre Desplat
  • Genre: Gothic science fiction
  • Runtime: 150 minutes

If Maggie Gyllenhaal’s ‘The Bride!‘ had released upon its original scheduled date, we’d have not one, but two Frankenstein films to devour in quick succession. It’s since been pushed back to next March, allowing Guillermo del Toro’s version some space to make its mark. How fitting it is that Mary Shelley’s tale of regeneration should have a resurgence of its own, a couple of centuries on.

This adaptation is far more in line with Shelley’s novel than any Universal Pictures monster flick. Here, the creature (often erroneously named after his creator) is imbued with thought and the capability to grow intellectually. He can speak, only single words at first, but he’s a smarter being than the stereotypical grunting green-faced brute of yore. Baron Frankenstein’s (Oscar Isaac) character is also given depth and reasoning. His unflagging quest to resurrect the deceased is borne from the grief of losing his beloved mother in his childhood, accompanied by a desire to scientifically supersede his bully of a father, a notable physician.

Oscar Isaac and Mia Goth give fine performances; Isaac capturing Baron Frankenstein’s descent into madness. I’m not sold on the casting of heartthrob Jacob Elordi as Frankenstein’s creation. Our sympathies lie with the creature, chained and shackled in the basement of the scientist’s lab yet with the narrative so emotionally-driven, I can’t find enough of that necessary anguish in Elordi’s portrayal. I have issues with his design too; he’s too aesthetically pleasing for something that’s a shoddy patchwork of rotten flesh.

Del Toro brings the classic story to life with his sumptuous visuals, his penchant for bloodshed and a supernatural feel to it; he’s made Frankenstein’s creature immortal – impervious to bullets, bayonets and even a stick of dynamite. Did the reassembled body parts once belong to Chuck Norris?

My rating: 6 / 10

The Long Walk (2025)

  • Director: Francis Lawrence
  • Screenplay: JT Mollner
  • Cast: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Garrett Wareing, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Roman Griffin Davis, Jordan Gonzalez, Josh Hamilton, Judy Greer, Mark Hamill
  • Cinematography: Jo Willems
  • Editing: Mark Yoshikawa
  • Score: Jeremiah Fraites
  • Genre: Dystopian survival thriller
  • Runtime: 108 minutes

Another month, another Stephen King adaptation.

After the muddled fantasy that was ‘The Life of Chuck‘, we’re back on solid ground with a horror-adjacent concept. It’s a step in the right direction.

In an America stricken by poverty and under the thumb of a totalitarian regime, a group of young men enter a competition: the titular long walk. There is no finish line in sight. The victor is the last man standing (or walking in this case). They’ve voluntarily submitted to this arduous challenge to win ‘the prize’: anything their heart desires. In many cases, it’s cash – conditions are so poor economically by staying home and sitting it out, you’d probably die of starvation anyway.

The walkers are required to travel at a speed of three miles per hour consistently. Water is supplied along the way. No stopping for a quick doze though. Absolutely no time for a toilet break either. Audiences won’t need one; the film keeps you glued to the comfort of your seat.

The boys are given three warnings if they lag behind. They aren’t excluded from the expedition if they fail to keep up with the crowd. Instead, they’re shot dead, cold and mercilessly; the corpse just left there to bleed out. It’s part of the routine. With each walker meeting his maker, it doesn’t get easier down the road.

Nobody is there to make friends upon entering the contest although a few gang together and call themselves the Musketeers. All for one and one for all. There can only be one winner.

Doyen of dystopia Francis Lawrence, known for directing nearly every ‘The Hunger Games‘ movie, maintains a steady pace. The cast is top-class; Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Charlie Plummer and an unrecognisable Mark Hamill as the Major, dark sunglasses stuck to his face. The eyes are the window of the soul. Their absence epitomises a country lacking any humanity, where unfortunate men are slain without a pause for reflection.

‘The Long Walk‘ is soul-crushingly bleak – stick with it to the end even if, like the walkers, your resolve is broken.

My rating: 8 / 10

Bring Her Back (2025)

  • Director: Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou
  • Screenplay: Danny Philippou, Bill Hinzman
  • Cast: Billy Barratt, Sora Wong, Jonah Wren Phillips, Sally Hawkins
  • Cinematography: Aaron McLisky
  • Editing: Geoff Lamb
  • Score: Cornel Wilczek
  • Genre: Supernatural psychological horror
  • Runtime: 104 minutes

An Australian horror film is the last place I’d expect to see Sally Hawkins. She’s built her career on Mike Leigh projects (‘Vera Drake‘, ‘Happy-Go-Lucky‘), period pieces (‘Jane Eyre‘, ‘Great Expectations‘) and the family-friendly ‘Paddington‘ series, with the occasional left turn (the blockbuster ‘Godzilla‘ and romantic fantasy gem ‘The Shape of Water‘). This is completely unexpected.

Hawkins plays Laura, a counselor dealing with her own trauma; she lost her daughter in a drowning accident. Her reluctance to move forward is evident: she’s had her dead dog stuffed and on display for visitors. Laura also works as a foster mother. Already looking after a selectively mute boy, she takes in step-brother/sister duo Andy and Piper following their father’s recent passing.

Grief pervades the air. You might assume Laura would be mopey, distant and dressed in black as is customary. Nope. There she is, accompanying Andy and Piper to their dad’s funeral wearing a purple cardigan, garish lipstick and dangly hoop earrings, her hair a curly mop. She’s in the mood to celebrate, not to mourn. She’s got a sinister plan up her sleeve. Coping with loss is never easy, as a counselor should know. When it’s your own child, however, one may venture down a dark path. Laura watches fuzzy VHS tapes of a demonic-looking ritual involving a host cannibalising a corpse and transferring the soul of the deceased into a new body.

It’s visceral and bloody – not for those of you with weak stomachs. Hawkins’ performance captivates throughout and with ‘Bring Her Back‘, the Philippou brothers cast a spell stronger than any magical circle could.

My rating: 7 / 10

M3GAN 2.0 (2025)

  • Director: Gerard Johnstone
  • Screenplay: Gerard Johnstone
  • Cast: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Amie Donald, Jenna Davis, Ivanna Sakhno, Jemaine Clement
  • Cinematography: Toby Oliver
  • Score: Chris Bacon
  • Genre: Science fiction action
  • Runtime: 120 minutes

Hold on to your vaginas!

To completely misquote Harvey Dent’s line from ‘The Dark Knight’: “you either die a villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero.” In this case, closer to an anti-hero.

Two years after the chaos that was ‘M3GAN‘, Gemma (Allison Williams) and her niece Cady (Violet McGraw) find themselves under threat from ‘AMELIA’ (autonomous military engagement logistics and infiltration android), a rogue AI housed in a humanoid adult body. AMELIA is on the hunt for everyone involved in her creation and since she’s been coded with M3GAN’s data, Gemma has no real choice but to reassemble the latter from the scrapheap to save the day. The robotic doll’s request: make her taller, accommodating the fact that the child actress portraying M3GAN’s physical form has grown a foot or so.

‘M3GAN 2.0‘ eschews the horror aspects that made the first film a hit in favour of an all-out action escapade. M3GAN was a convincingly creepy doll but her devolution into one of the ‘good guys’ undoes the effort of the original. Her uncanny valley features used to be menacing, not anymore; she’s now reduced to spouting sarky quips.

It’s serviceable as a story – more or less. I can get on board with the message that ‘AI is bad’ but it’s hammered home to the point of exhaustion. The dialogue isn’t user-friendly; there’s a load of technobabble flying from every corner which just sounds like white noise to me. I think there’s a bug in the system – let’s press Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

My rating: 5 / 10

28 Years Later (2025)

  • Director: Danny Boyle
  • Screenplay: Alex Garland
  • Cast: Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfie Williams, Ralph Fiennes, Jack O’Connell
  • Cinematography: Anthony Dod Mantle
  • Score: Young Fathers
  • Genre: Post-apocalyptic horror
  • Runtime: 115 minutes

It’s surely the most anticipated movie in yonks. The Rage virus swept across mainland Britain in ‘28 Days Later‘ and we saw the militarised state London became in the aftermath in ‘28 Weeks Later‘. Skipping the nixed ‘28 Months Later‘, and we’re now 28 years into the pandemic.

A community of survivors have established a town on Lindisfarne, known as Holy Island, off the coast of the north east of England. In a world devoid of modern trappings, the residents live a medieval-style existence. Fletchers craft arrows, which are used by the youngsters as part of target practice. As they shoot, footage of Laurence Olivier’s ‘Henry V‘ (1944) is intercut showing a bundle of arrows soaring into the sky, driving home the medieval theme. This disease has changed the way people operate; it’s a rustic way of life for folks. There is still order; they’ve not been reduced to savages the way the zombies have. I felt echoes of the COVID-19 pandemic experienced 5 years ago – we united, letting the earth heal.

Tonally, ‘28 Years‘ is more in line with the original film; an emotional, character-driven affair, with great performances from Jodie Comer, Ralph Fiennes and newcomer Alfie Williams. But be warned: this is the first in a new trilogy from the duo behind ‘28 Days‘, director Danny Boyle and screenwriter Alex Garland, so don’t expect a quick resolution in this installment. Instead, rather disappointingly, it feels drawn out like the endless stretches of English countryside. Boyle’s sharp direction and an adequate amount of zombie killing kept me satisfied but I couldn’t help feel a tighter story, told in only a single picture, would’ve worked better. I’m relying on Garland to have the brains to realise his ambition.

While Danny Boyle has a breather (he helms part 3), Nia DaCosta takes over directing duties for the following chapter of the triad, ‘28 Years Later: The Bone Temple‘, slated for release next January.

My rating: 6 / 10

Final Destination Bloodlines (2025)

  • Director: Zach Lipovsky, Adam Stein
  • Screenplay: Guy Busick, Lori Evans Taylor
  • Cast: Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Anna Lore, Brec Bassinger, Tony Todd
  • Cinematography: Christian Sebaldt
  • Editing: Sabrina Pitre
  • Score: Tim Wynn
  • Genre: Supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 110 minutes

Will there ever be a final ‘Final Destination‘? It’s now been a quarter of a century of scaring cinemagoers into becoming hermits and not daring to venture outside in fear of the most ridiculous manner of death befalling them. More than 50% of accidents happen at home so you’re not safe there either.

This new entry acts as a prequel; the opening sequence takes place in the 1960s and follows a young woman’s premonition that the fancy rooftop restaurant (over 400 metres high) she attends with her boyfriend will collapse. Since she prevents this catastrophe from occurring, the number of lives she saves from the clutches of doom is myriad, so the stakes are higher than the previous installments where, say, you had 8 survivors.

Because of the vast tally of those cheating their fate, it’s absurdly taken Death decades to pick them all off one by one. Maybe the Grim Reaper got tired and took an extended vacation at the midway point? By the present day, many of the survivors have gone on to start families, making Death’s job extra difficult. It kills people through their genetic bloodline, hence the title.

Talking about things taking time, the runtime is the longest of the franchise. The average length of the first five movies is 91 minutes – which made them short, punchy rushes. ‘Bloodlines‘ felt drawn out and being the sixth movie, past its use-by date. Very much flogging a dead horse. Let this series rest in peace.

That said, the fatalities are sublimely splattery as expected and the song choices are a knowing wink to the audience. The late, great Tony Todd returns as the enigmatic Mr. Bludworth, the film’s MVP. Whilst only appearing in a single scene, his screen presence makes it worthwhile. A fitting send-off to both the character and the actor himself, musing on enjoying every second of life while you can – especially poignant given Todd’s health condition during filming.

My rating: 5 / 10

Sinners (2025)

  • Director: Ryan Coogler
  • Screenplay: Ryan Coogler
  • Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Hailee Steinfeld, Miles Caton, Jack O’Connell, Wunmi Mosaku, Jayme Lawson, Omar Miller, Buddy Guy, Delroy Lindo
  • Cinematography: Autumn Durald Arkapaw
  • Editing: Michael P. Shawver
  • Score: Ludwig Göransson
  • Genre: Period supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 137 minutes

Identical twins, ‘Smoke’ and ‘Stack’ Moore (both played by Michael B. Jordan to the delight of many, I’m sure) return to their roots in Mississippi in Dust Bowl-era America after making good money up north in Chicago. With this wealth, they intend to start up a juke joint, a sort of bar featuring singing and gambling, for the town’s black community. Their young cousin Sammie, proficient in playing the guitar, is hired for entertainment. There’s a supernatural potency to his music; it’s a siren call for forces of evil – vampires.

Speaking in a Southern drawl, the cast are unintelligible to my ears so the personal circumstances of the brothers goes over my head unfortunately. I could understand every 5th word – ‘Y’all this, y’all that’ etc. That’s not a criticism of the quality of acting; conveying a message takes more than words and I got the general gist of what was going on.

‘Sinners‘ comes into its stride when dusk falls on the juke joint’s opening night. The fanged beasts come out of the shadows, and as per vampiric tradition, have to be invited inside a property. Don’t let them in!

The film’s greatest strength is the musical score, composed by Coogler’s previous collaborator Ludwig Göransson. It’s an ode to American blues music, with some gospel, soul, jazz and Irish folk thrown in as well. The score takes the songs of the Deep South in the 1930s and ensures them a legacy. Props to Miles Caton (as Sammie) in his big screen debut; he has such musicality in his veins.

Stay for the post-credits scene starring guitar legend Buddy Guy, who influenced the likes of Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Jeff Beck.

My rating: 7 / 10

Death of a Unicorn (2025)

  • Director: Alex Scharfman
  • Screenplay: Alex Scharfman
  • Cast: Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, Will Poulter, Téa Leoni, Richard E. Grant
  • Cinematography: Larry Fong
  • Editing: Ron Dulin
  • Score: Dan Romer, Giosuè Greco
  • Genre: Dark fantasy comedy horror
  • Runtime: 107 minutes

Keep your eyes on the wheel while driving. Unless you want to hit a unicorn.

This happens to Elliot (Rudd) on his way to his boss’ estate for a weekend trip, his teenage daughter Ridley (Ortega) in tow. The creature, in pain and oozing purple blood out of the wound, is promptly ended by a thwack from an implement in Elliot’s hand. Ridley is more sympathetic and before the creature’s untimely end, touches its horn and experiences some kind of revelatory mental journey, curing her acne in the process.

They reach the residence – Elliot’s boss, Odell (Richard E. Grant) is dying of cancer. As soon as Odell realises the remarkable healing powers the unicorn brings, we have a house divided. Odell, his wife (Tea Leoni), his brattish son (Will Poulter) and a reluctant Elliot decide to grind the horn down to make a cure. For the good of humanity. Ridley stands as the sole voice of compassion towards the magical creatures.

It runs like a twisted, adult, gory fairytale: over-the-top evil schemers, mystical beings. Heck, there’s a moment where Ridley is wandering through the forest wearing a vermilion hoodie as if she’s Little Red Riding Hood. And the moral takeaway: insatiable greed turns us, the humans, into the monsters.

The unicorns aren’t out of kids’ picture books – don’t expect fluffy ‘My Little Pony‘ types prancing joyfully. When provoked, they’re snarling, ferocious beasts. No horsing around here: they get straight to the point, to the detriment of a few unfortunate people. A schmaltzy ending balances out the bloodshed witnessed onscreen.

My rating: 7 / 10

Heart Eyes (2025)

  • Director: Josh Ruben
  • Screenplay: Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
  • Cast: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster
  • Cinematography: Stephen Murphy
  • Editing: Brett W. Bachman
  • Score: Jay Wadley
  • Genre: Romantic comedy slasher
  • Runtime: 97 minutes

We have slashers for nearly every holiday – Halloween (obviously), Christmas (‘Terrifier 3‘, ‘Black Christmas‘), St. Patrick’s Day (the ‘Leprechaun‘ series), even Thanksgiving (with 2023’s film baring the name of said celebration). It’s about time we got a Valentine’s Day-themed horror flick, the concept is ripe for exploitation.

The Heart Eyes Killer (HEK for short), so called because of the heart-shaped eye sockets on the stitched-up mask they wear, has been terrorising cities in the U.S. for the last two years. Their modus operandi: butchering only those in relationships. Singletons fear not!

Advertising executive Ally (Olivia Holt), who is newly single, bumps heads (literally) with the impossibly suave Jay (Mason Gooding, son of Cuba Gooding Jr. – Mason must get his looks from his mum) at a coffee shop. Later on, Ally meets her ex and his new girlfriend, and to save face in an awkward situation, pretends Jay is her boyfriend. She kisses him to prove her point. But this is witnessed by Heart Eyes who mistakes them for a genuine couple.

The dialogue is the highlight, it’s snappy and some real zingers are thrown around. Two of the supporting actors steal the movie from under the leads’ noses; Gigi Zumbado as Ally’s friend/co-worker, and Michaela Watkins as their boss Crystal Cane – they both have such onscreen charm and deliver their lines with pizzazz.

I actually really enjoyed it, but I felt it came undone thanks to the uber theatrical resolution. The cinema was full of twosomes on date nights when I went to see it; I’m pretty sure I was the only one sitting on their own. If Heart Eyes is purely on the hunt for couples, I count myself relieved.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Monkey (2025)

  • Director: Osgood Perkins
  • Screenplay: Osgood Perkins
  • Cast: Theo James, Tatiana Maslany, Christian Convery, Colin O’Brien, Rohan Campbell, Sarah Levy, Adam Scott, Elijah Wood
  • Cinematography: Nico Aguilar
  • Editing: Greg Ng, Graham Fortin
  • Score: Edo Van Breemen
  • Genre: Comedy horror
  • Runtime: 98 minutes

Coming only 7 months after his last feature, ‘Longlegs’, Osgood Perkins returns with a tale of murder and mayhem all caused by a toy monkey. Y’know, one of those insanely creepy monkeys with the drum kits. It’s not a toy though, it’s a killing machine. Every time someone winds it up, certain death shall follow. And always the most gruesome, chaotic deaths, giving ‘Final Destination’ a run for its money. It’s comedically over-the-top, but that’s the intention.

When their pilot father brings the monkey back from a trip elsewhere, twins Hal and Bill (both played by Christian Convery) discover the curse at the expense of innocent family members. A decent chunk of the movie is devoted to the boys’ childhood living in the shadow of constant expiration, as opposed to a rushed 5 minute recollection of their backstories. 25 years later, the brothers (now played by Theo James), are estranged, meanwhile the monkey is out there…lurking…because evil never dies.

Perkins seems to have an obsession with death but if you research his own parentage, you understand what makes him tick. His dad was Anthony Perkins of ‘Psycho’ fame, who died from AIDS-related pneumonia. His mother, Berry Berenson, an actress and model, was killed in a plane crash – a victim of 9/11, no less. The latter being totally preventable in a ‘sliding doors’ moment, say if Ms. Berenson had woken up late that morning and missed the flight. The movie’s message of ‘accidents happen’ becomes even more significant.

It’s certainly miles better than ‘Longlegs‘, which I found to be dreary and unimaginative. This may be due to the source material; the plot of ‘The Monkey‘ is based on a Stephen King short story. Hang around for a post-credits scene teasing Perkins’ next project, ‘Keeper’, set for release in October. He’s on a (drum) roll.

My rating: 7 / 10

Presence (2024)

  • Director: Steven Soderbergh
  • Screenplay: David Koepp
  • Cast: Lucy Liu, Chris Sullivan, Callina Liang
  • Cinematography: Steven Soderbergh
  • Editing: Mary Ann Bernard
  • Score: Zack Ryan
  • Genre: Supernatural thriller drama
  • Runtime: 85 minutes

Director (and cinematographer) Steven Soderbergh takes the ‘haunted house’ tale and puts his spin on it. The entirety of the film is shot from the first-person perspective; the POV of an apparition wandering around; walking down the stairs, retreading those steps back upstairs – we’re getting a guided tour of the property complete with 360 degree panoramic shots of the rooms. The scenes are brief and end suddenly, darting forwards in time by a short interval.

A new family move into the suburban abode; a detached mother (Lucy Liu), an agitated father (Chris Sullivan), their swimming champ son and a daughter who’s recently lost her best friend and is struggling to cope with the pain. There’s a fifth member of the household, an unwelcome guest, a ghost in the machine…’the presence’, which only the daughter has the ability to sense.

We’ve got the usual poltergeist shenanigans; objects moving supposedly of their own accord, doors closing etc. yet this has more intrigue to it than the standard spooky fare. It’s quietly engrossing – what is going on exactly? Who is this mysterious spectre? Are they a manifestation of the girl’s grief perhaps? What do they want?

Points off for not fully exploring the premise – for example, the parents’ crumbling marriage could’ve been fleshed out and we don’t necessarily get answers to every question raised. Intriguingly filmed, ‘Presence‘ will continue to haunt after the screen fades to black.

My rating: 6 / 10

Wolf Man (2025)

  • Director: Leigh Whannell
  • Screenplay: Leigh Whannell, Corbett Tuck
  • Cast: Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger
  • Cinematography: Stefan Duscio
  • Editing: Andy Canny
  • Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
  • Genre: Horror
  • Runtime: 103 minutes

When writer Blake Lovell (Christopher Abbott) takes his workaholic wife, Charlotte (Julia Garner), and their daughter Ginger to the Oregon mountains where he spent his childhood to reconnect as a family unit away from the bustle of city life, the last thing he’d appreciate is being menaced by a werewolf.

On route things get hairy: Blake swerves off the road after seeing a humanoid figure standing there. In the aftermath of the crash, he’s slashed by a ‘wild animal’. Cue the standard transformation: a few hours later, he has become the titular ‘Wolf Man’. It’s a reboot of the classic Universal Pictures horror of 1941, given a modern day setting. The film is standalone, the plotted interconnected ‘Dark Universe‘ franchise featuring iconic ghouls such as Frankenstein’s Monster and Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde having been scrapped in favour of one-off projects, like 2020’s ‘The Invisible Man‘ (also directed by Leigh Whannell).

By keeping it simple in terms of plot and location (one isolated farmhouse), this means there’s less material to work with. Once her husband turns into a wolf, all Charlotte really gets to do now is be chased through a pitch-black forest. So what? Your husband’s a werewolf? Big deal. I’ve known men with more body hair than that.

Trippy visuals where the camera slowly pans around to see events from Blake’s perspective grab your attention for a handful of seconds but this is your typical ‘January Jinx’ movie; predictably low quality and sent out by the studio to die. What a howler.

My rating: 4 / 10

Nosferatu (2024)

  • Director: Robert Eggers
  • Screenplay: Robert Eggers
  • Cast: Bill Skarsgard, Nicholas Hoult, Lily-Rose Depp, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Emma Corrin, Ralph Ineson, Simon McBurney, Willem Dafoe
  • Cinematography: Jarin Blaschke
  • Editing: Louise Ford
  • Score: Robin Carolan
  • Genre: Gothic horror
  • Runtime: 132 minutes

The silent horror ‘Nosferatu‘ (1922) is given the big screen remake treatment by gothic auteur Robert Eggers (‘The Lighthouse‘, ‘The Northman‘). The concept of Nosferatu was created as a way of honouring Bram Stoker’s classic vampire novel ‘Dracula‘ without infringing on copyright laws, thus, character names were changed and the setting moved to mountainous Germany.

An estate agent, Thomas Hutter (Nicholas Hoult), is tasked by his employer to sell a crumbling manor to the mysterious Count Orlok – in doing so, he must travel (by phantom carriage, naturally) to the Count’s castle in the Carpathian mountains. Upon their meeting, the nocturnal Orlok displays a taste for human blood…and a fascination for Hutter’s new bride, Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp, overacting to the max).

As the original was silent (although accompanied by a musical score), this all-screaming, all-biting version allows the narrative to be fleshed out, with a deeper exploration of emotions. Though with the inclusion of words, it risks becoming a tad verbose – my interest started to wane when the dialogue threatened to mar the eerie atmosphere. Likewise whenever my eyes witnessed any unnecessary nudity. I had fears that giving the formerly mute Count Orlok a voice would diminish his power but Bill Skarsgard’s vocal presence assured me otherwise; the character design was more zombified German nobleman, less pointy-eared, wide-eyed space creature.

The film’s colour palette is drained of warmth, as if it too had been sucked dry by the fangs of a vampire – a certain chill in the air can be felt while viewing the gorgeously bleak visuals.

The antecedent ‘Nosferatu‘ (available to watch on Amazon Prime of all places) still holds up as a body of work a whole century later (an incredible feat). Will 2024’s overlong ode to vampirism endure in the public consciousness for a similar hundred? Wake me from my coffin and let me know when the time comes.

My rating: 6 / 10

The Front Room (2024)

  • Director: Max Eggers, Sam Eggers
  • Screenwriter: Max Eggers, Sam Eggers
  • Cast: Brandy, Kathryn Hunter, Andrew Burnap, Neal Huff
  • Cinematography: Ava Berkofsky
  • Editing: Benjamin Rodriguez Jr., Eric Kissack
  • Score: Marcelo Zarvos
  • Genre: Psychological horror
  • Runtime: 95 minutes

When his father dies, Norman (Andrew Burnap) and his expectant wife Belinda (Brandy, the singer) are requested to take in his stepmother Solange as per his father’s will, if they do so they’ll benefit from her large inheritance and given that they’re in dire straits financially, they really have no choice. Solange (Kathryn Hunter) is a religious zealot that would make Mother Teresa look like a heathen. She also openly shares her entrenched racist views at the dinner table, clashing with Belinda (or ‘Belinder’ as she calls her).

So: money troubles, a baby on the way and the mother-in-law from hell…not exactly a picture-perfect marital home. Solange is incontinent (if that didn’t worsen an already awful situation) – she’s soiling herself every 5 seconds, seemingly to spite Belinda. Norman refuses to get his hands dirty (literally), always running off to work when things are messy. And Solange’s fervent religiousness has a supernatural effect on the household. Holy moly.

Brandy gives an underpowered performance – conversely, Kathryn Hunter absolutely devours the scenery as the monster-in-law, embarrassingly so (this is an actress who’s done Shakespeare at the Globe Theatre). It’s more of an unintended comedy than the ‘psychological horror’ it set out to be. There’s a million Les Dawson jokes about his mother-in-law but this movie is funnier than all of them (not saying much though). In fact, it’s the cinematic equivalent of hot garbage. Praise the lord it’s only 95 minutes long.

Why didn’t Belinda just shove the old bat down the stairs as soon as she could? It wouldn’t have been the first time Brandy had killed someone…

My rating: 3 / 10

Smile 2 (2024)

  • Director: Parker Finn
  • Screenplay: Parker Finn
  • Cast: Naomi Scott, Rosemarie DeWitt, Miles Gutierrez-Riley, Dylan Gelula, Raul Castillo, Peter Jacobson, Ray Nicholson, Lukas Gage, Kyle Gallner
  • Cinematography: Charlie Sarroff
  • Editing: Elliot Greenberg
  • Score: Cristobal Tapia de Veer
  • Genre: Psychological supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 127 minutes

Set 6 days after the sequel-baiting ending of ‘Smile‘ (2022), we watch in horror as the chain of deaths caused by the supernatural curse continues. Said affliction (which causes the victim to have hallucinations of people demonically smiling, then later commit suicide) has reached global singing sensation Skye Riley (Naomi Scott) who’s having a rough time of it; she’s had a history of substance abuse and is haunted by the death of her boyfriend in a car crash (which she survived).

It’s the exact same premise as the first Smile; but the troubled pop star element was an interesting angle to explore as Skye, literally tearing her hair out worrying about the curse, and her decline in mental health reflects the life of a young singer in the spotlight, especially when they’re desperately trying to keep a squeaky-clean image in a social media age. I still can’t take it seriously though. Folks smiling creepily at you? Laughable. The only actor that pulls off the menacing grin is Ray Nicholson, son of the legendary Jack Nicholson (heeeere’s Johnny!).

Parker Finn’s trademark upside down aerial shots give it a trippy feel, and Skye Riley treats us to a couple of polished pop bangers plus choreography. Drew Barrymore appears in a cameo appearance as her talk show host self but thankfully she’s not practically in her guest’s lap as usual. A meagre amount of frights later, the wheels fall off big time in the third act, and while I won’t spoil anything here, the cliffhanger finale is a bit of a game changer. How the hell are they gonna resolve the situation in the inevitable Smile 3?

A slight improvement on the original – but that one was so dire I was praying for it to be over and done with. I had to grin and bear it. Faint praise indeed.

My rating: 4 / 10

‘Salem’s Lot (2024)

  • Director: Gary Dauberman
  • Screenplay: Gary Dauberman
  • Cast: Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Alfre Woodward, John Benjamin Hickey, Bill Camp, Spencer Treat Clark, William Sadler, Pilou Asbæk
  • Cinematography: Michael Burgess
  • Editing: Luke Ciarrocchi
  • Score: Nathan Barr, Lisbeth Scott
  • Genre: Supernatural horror
  • Runtime: 113 minutes

A somewhat famous writer, Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman), revisits the town in Maine which he grew up in order to spark some inspiration. Jerusalem’s Lot (the ‘Jeru’ having been worn away on the welcome sign) has that quintessential small-town America feel…except there’s a vampire on the loose. Mears and his band of two-dimensional friends have to defeat the bloodsucking beast, which resembles a CGI-ed Nosferatu. Henceforth, any attempt at crafting Mears’ emotional backstory is promptly disregarded in favour of battling vampires instead. The talented Alfre Woodard and Bill Camp, playing the local doctor and school teacher respectively, are wasted – reduced to spouting terrible lines of dialogue like a couple of suckers.

Every single vampire cliché you can think of is thrown around; wooden stakes through the heart, they’re allergic to sunlight, no reflection in the mirror etc.; I lost count of how many times I rolled my eyes. And the obvious jumpscares – even Stevie Wonder could’ve seen them coming.

Curiously, the movie was shot way back in 2021 and went through reshoots and years of postponed potential release dates. Maybe the producers saw the rough cut and thought ‘Oh god it’s so bad but people might forget we’re making it if we never release it.”. Perhaps they were trying to spare us from this cinematic slog. According to director Gary Dauberman, the initial edit lasted three hours before they (thankfully) chopped it down to 113 minutes. Bleeding hell…can you imagine?

I’d consider it to be one of the worst Stephen King book-to-film adaptations I’ve come across. ‘Salem’s Lot? A lot of tripe more like. Fangs for nothing!

My rating: 3 / 10

Terrifier 3 (2024)

  • Director: Damien Leone
  • Screenplay: Damien Leone
  • Cast: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Elliott Fullam, Samantha Scaffidi
  • Cinematography: George Steuber
  • Editing: Damien Leone
  • Score: Paul Wiley
  • Genre: Christmas supernatural slasher
  • Runtime: 125 minutes

Silent night, holy fright!

Who’s dressed in a suit and got a big bag full of treats for all the good boys and girls? Santa Claus? Hell no! It’s Art the Clown!

In this Christmas-flavoured third entry in the cult slasher franchise, Art’s back to finish what he started in the previous movie – to kill ‘final girl’ Sienna Shaw. Set five years after Sienna’s first tangle with the killer clown, she’s recently been released from psychiatric care and recuperating at her aunt and uncle’s house.

The kills are gruesomely inventive as ever and the stomach-churning practical effects would make Tom Savini proud (he actually has a cameo as a eyewitness on television news). There’s a scattering of darkly amusing moments; one especially seasonal – Art making blood angels instead of those of snow.

My main problem is with Art the Clown. Though visually creepy and certainly a welcome addition to the modern horror movie villain canon, I find his execution flawed. If you’re going to do the whole ‘silent but deadly’ thing, constantly gurning and scowling means I won’t be able to take you seriously. And maybe that’s the point; he’s meant to be a little goofy. But herein lies another issue – if you’re a deliberately campy character (à la Freddy Krueger), at least have enough panache to pull it off – Krueger could do his over-the-top shtick and terrible one-liners AND still be genuinely terrifying. Adding an accomplice into the mix in the form of Vicky, the deranged survivor of ‘Terrifier 1‘, detracts from Art’s presence and power as the big bad, too.

The unnecessary supernatural elements in the plot are a distraction from what could’ve been a more straightforward gore-fest, tipping an already pretty silly story into the territory of the downright ridiculous.

My rating: 6 / 10

Never Let Go (2024)

  • Director: Alexandre Aja
  • Screenwriter: Kevin Coughlin, Ryan Grassby
  • Cast: Halle Berry, Percy Daggs IV, Anthony B. Jenkins
  • Cinematography: Maxime Alexandre
  • Editing: Elliot Greenberg
  • Score: Robin Coudert
  • Genre: Survival horror thriller
  • Runtime: 101 minutes

There’s often rules in horror movies that you have to follow in order to live. In ‘A Quiet Place’, you survive by not making a sound. In ‘Bird Box’, you commit suicide if you see the creatures so must remain blindfolded. In ‘Never Let Go‘, it’s by touch that ‘they’ get you, if they do you’ll turn against your family in a murderous rage.

After society apparently collapses, a mother (Halle Berry, doing a poor attempt at a Southern accent) and her two young sons live in a cabin in the woods, surviving in their remote locale by foraging for food and hunting animals. But there’s ‘evil’ lurking in the surrounding forestry (taking various forms, among them; Berry’s late husband and a zombified, serpentine version of her mother) so when venturing outside, the trio must tie ropes around themselves – thus remaining connected to their home – as these seemingly magic ropes (yes, really) have the power to protect them from these malevolent forces (initially only witnessed by Berry’s character).

There’s little to no threat – you won’t be left with a knot in your stomach. Despite the ropes being bound tightly, the tension is lax while the dialogue is ropey at best. It keeps you guessing whether it actually is the end of the world or not (similar to last year’s ‘Knock at the Cabin‘- what is it with apocalypses and cabins?) but that only depends if you haven’t already given up and let go.

Even so, the verdant cinematography is the movie’s saving grace, creating a natural, environmental feel and featuring arboreal set pieces.

My rating: 4 / 10

In a Violent Nature (2024)

  • Director: Chris Nash
  • Screenplay: Chris Nash
  • Cast: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic, Lauren-Marie Taylor
  • Cinematographer: Pierce Derks
  • Editing: Alex Jacobs
  • Genre: Slasher
  • Runtime: 94 minutes

I can’t think of another slasher film that follows the point of view of the killer themselves. In this gory flick, we observe our seemingly indestructible central figure from behind as he plod-plod-plods around the Ontario woods, slaughtering everyone in his path. It takes this format for the majority of the duration, save for the scenes focusing on a bunch of teenagers camping in the wilderness whom our mutilator hunts down person by person. I feel there’s little tension or threat because, for the most part, you can probably tell how things are going to pan out. I mean, axe-wielding murderer versus a group of teens; I wonder…? Also, you can’t exactly kill off the ‘main’ character in a flash or that’d be it over, right?

The title interests me; the word ‘nature’ is used in two ways. One alludes to emotionless killing having been woven into his psyche, and his inability to change this mindset. The other relates to the ecosystem; on display abundantly here as we take a slow burn adventure through the Canadian forests. It almost seems as though the murderer himself constitutes part of the landscape, given that he wakes up from beneath the forest floor at the start.

The gradual pace requires a bit of patience – something some audiences are perhaps lacking these days due to a culture of instant gratification. However, there’s no real payoff for being persistent and nothing new in slasher qualities but I do appreciate the fresh approach taken with the shift of perspective.

Warning: do not watch this immediately after you’ve eaten.

My rating: 5 / 10

Longlegs (2024)

  • Director: Osgood Perkins
  • Screenplay: Osgood Perkins
  • Cast: Maika Monroe, Nicolas Cage, Blair Underwood, Alicia Witt, Kiernan Shipka
  • Cinematographer: Andres Arochi
  • Editing: Greg Ng, Graham Fortin
  • Score: Zilgi
  • Genre: Horror thriller
  • Runtime: 101 minutes

Much like 90s classic ‘The Silence of the Lambs‘ has a young, female FBI agent face to face against a notorious serial killer, ‘Longlegs‘ has Lee Harker (Monroe) hunting Longlegs, a deranged Satanist bogeyman (Cage). But instead of skin suits and fava beans, we’ve got creepy dolls and sinister religious elements as the components.

Lee Harker has a ‘gift’ – she’s supposedly ‘half psychic’ but this is only mentioned in the opening 15 minutes and promptly forgotten about for the rest of the movie. And, similar to all characters who are in any way ‘different’, she’s largely devoid of emotion (and personality) with Monroe turning her head mechanically as if she’s an empty-headed automaton.

Nicolas Cage is prosthetic-ed up to the nines (straggly grey hair, bulbous nose, rubbery chin) – if it wasn’t for his voice I wouldn’t have been able to tell it was him. Pity the efforts of the makeup department are wasted as he gives his usual over-the-top performance. Usually a bit of craziness works well when playing a psychotic character but Cage is way too hammy to take seriously.

‘Longlegs‘ has a kind of experiment feel to it, with lingering visuals of bubbling liquids and snakes randomly thrown in, probably to give it a unique or unsettling quality – perhaps because the director knows the film is hardly original and has little bite to it. You’ve got to question why it was made – maybe Nicolas Cage (listed as a producer) wanted to play some sort of psycho for the fun of it.

I appreciate the ’90s-core’ feeling; grainy camera lenses, wintry woodlands and log cabins but it just comes off as an ‘X-Files‘ episode minus the aliens or again, ‘The Silence of the Lambs‘.

That said, I think it’s the first movie I’ve seen in which the end credits scroll up rather than down but it’s too late for that gimmick to save the film.

My rating: 4 / 10