Wake Up Dead Man (2025)

Director: Rian Johnson
Screenplay: Rian Johnson
Cast: Daniel Craig, Josh O’Connor, Glenn Close, Josh Brolin, Mila Kunis, Jeremy Renner, Kerry Washington, Andrew Scott, Cailee Spaeny, Daryl McCormack, Thomas Haden Church
Cinematography: Steve Yedlin
Editing: Bob Ducsay
Score: Nathan Johnson
Genre: Mystery
Runtime: 144 minutes

I must confess: I’m not a fan of the ‘Knives Out‘ series. This third entry, ‘Wake Up Dead Man‘, is slightly better than the first two films but that’s not saying a lot.

After assaulting a deacon, a young priest, Jud (Josh O’Connor), is relocated to a small parish under the thumb of the fearsome Monsignor Jefferson Wicks (Josh Brolin). Wicks’ sermons from the pulpit strike terror into the hearts of his congregation. Jud, a former boxer who’s seen the light, preaches love, not war. When Wicks dies in seemingly impossible circumstances, Jud is the prime suspect.

He’s really the only suspect though. There’s an all-star cast yet most of them aren’t utilised like they deserve to be. Josh O’Connor is tremendous; he features in a greater capacity than Daniel Craig’s Detective Blanc. The story, a classic locked door mystery, is more about Jud’s quest to clear his name without the need for Blanc entirely. In fact, when the detective entered the house of God and bellowed “Hello” in his Southern drawl a good chunk into the runtime, I audibly groaned.

For such a weighty subject matter, religion is weaved into the narrative the proper amount. With making each Benoit Blanc case stand out visually and tonally (‘Knives Out”s stately home, ‘Glass Onion”s luxury island), the church and its pageantry could just have been a game of dress up – cassocks as mere costumes, the holy building a backdrop while clues are scoured for. The conversation between Blanc and Jud on how the religious parables found in the Bible is another form of storytelling was interesting.

And as stories go, this one is full of pomposity. I predicted as much when I started watching; Rian Johnson isn’t a miracle worker. No Hail Marys could convince me otherwise.

My rating: 5 / 10

Jay Kelly (2025)

Director: Noah Baumbach
Screenplay: Noah Baumbach, Emily Mortimer
Cast: George Clooney, Adam Sandler, Laura Dern, Billy Crudup
Cinematography: Linus Sandgren
Editing: Valerio Bonelli, Rachel Durance
Score: Nicholas Britell
Genre: Comedy-drama
Runtime: 132 minutes

Jay Kelly. A quick three syllable name, repeated often enough that you almost forget he’s a man, not a concept. George Clooney stars as the titular actor, at the apex of a decades-long career as a leading man. At the funeral of the director who gave him his big break, everyone assumes he’s doing fine, like being rich and famous cancels out any emotions someone has. In reality, he’s a shell of a human being with no authentic identity of his own.

He’s divorced, estranged from one daughter and trying to salvage the relationship he has with his younger daughter. She’s going travelling across Europe, leaving him alone with no genuine friends. He decides to track her journey by using her friend’s credit card data, even if it means having to rough it on a train full of normal people. Unfamous people.

They’re surprised to see him in such an ordinary scenario. And of course, treat him like a god among men. That’s the thing about fame though, only those at the eye of the storm know just how destructive a force it is. Here’s Jay Kelly, with a wrecked domestic life, celebrating with complete strangers in a train carriage. They are outsiders, with no knowledge of who he is as a living, breathing person. They’re praising a name; he’s a visual representation of heroism as if his roles onscreen have bled out into the real world.

It takes a small army to construct the image of the perfect film star – his publicist, his stylist, his assistant, reinforcing the idea that he’s a project to work on. With him every step of the way is his manager Ron (Adam Sandler), too loyal to resign even with his own family situation reaching breaking point, getting too close to the squall of celebrity.

Clooney conveys Baumbach’s ideas of fame successfully. He’s never been my favourite ever actor but he’s the only one that could fill this role. He is one of the last great movie stars. His polished charm harks back to the glamour of the Golden Age of Hollywood. Jay Kelly, in a moment of self doubt, rattles off a list of classic actors – Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Clark Gable – inserting his own name in there, as if to assure himself of his place amongst the greats. George Clooney easily belongs in that list. His peers in the field are bankable yet he has that sense of maturity about him. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiCaprio are bona fide icons but they’re all too boyish, clinging onto some sort of youth when they’re over half a century old.

There’s a scene that sees Jay Kelly running through a forest dressed in a white suit reminiscent of a unicorn – magical, mystical, legendary.

My rating: 8 / 10

Bugonia (2025)

Director: Yorgos Lanthimos
Screenplay: Will Tracy
Cast: Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Aidan Delbis
Cinematography: Robbie Ryan
Editing: Yorgos Mavropsaridis
Score: Jerskin Fendrix
Genre: Absurdist black comedy thriller
Runtime: 118 minutes

Two men, Teddy (Jesse Plemons) and his cousin Don (Aidan Delbis), hatch a plan to kidnap the CEO of a pharmaceutical corporation, believing she is an alien from the Andromeda galaxy. Yes, really. Said CEO, Michelle (Emma Stone), initially puts up a fight but luck is not on her side. Taking her back to their house, the guys buzz her hair off and slather her in antihistamine cream to stop her beaming a distress signal to her mothership. They’ve thought this through, haven’t they? In this getup, Michelle does indeed look like an extraterrestrial; bald-headed and pasty-skinned.

It shows you how deep down the rabbit hole these men have fallen. They may as well be in Wonderland. Reaching the apex of delusion, they’ve gone so far as to chemically castrate themselves to block out ‘psychic compulsions’. Teddy is the brains of the operation, if you could recognise any intelligence in him whatsoever. Don, who is intellectually disabled, is coerced every step of the way by his cousin; the latter has total control of the situation.

According to Teddy, the aliens are responsible for the dwindling number of bees (he’s an apiarist) and that they’re trying to wipe out human life by eradicating our food supply.

Though billed as a black comedy, there’s an undercurrent of ghastliness one cannot get past. The pair shackle Michelle in their basement; she has no escape from their lunacy. Teddy slaps her and electrocutes her. This is torture. Interestingly, ‘Bugonia‘ is the gender-swapped remake of the South Korean film ‘Save the Green Planet!‘ and by making our CEO a female adds to the imbalance of the sexes. Here we have a once powerful woman who’s graced the covers of Time and Vogue now chained up in a some greasy-haired guy’s cellar.

It speaks to the larger problem facing society – the class war. While Teddy is a blue-collar worker toiling away, Michelle’s existence is one of privilege. The idea that endangering people in positions of power can help to address the divide between economic factions is reminiscent of the recent death of a certain health insurance executive. The men are convinced that they’re the little guys, being screwed over by big businesses. Powerless and hopeless in the face of something bigger than they will ever amount to.

Without saying too much, the last ten minutes are pivotal. The overarching environmental message is reinforced by an indelible sequence that necessitates action on our part, us humans.

My rating: 9 / 10

Frankenstein (2025)

Director: Guillermo del Toro
Screenplay: Guillermo del Toro
Cast: Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz, Christian Convery, Charles Dance, David Bradley, Lars Mikkelsen
Cinematography: Dan Laustsen
Editing: Evan Schiff
Score: Alexandre Desplat
Genre: Gothic science fiction
Runtime: 150 minutes

If Maggie Gyllenhaal’s ‘The Bride!‘ had released upon its original scheduled date, we’d have not one, but two Frankenstein films to devour in quick succession. It’s since been pushed back to next March, allowing Guillermo del Toro’s version some space to make its mark. How fitting it is that Mary Shelley’s tale of regeneration should have a resurgence of its own, a couple of centuries on.

This adaptation is far more in line with Shelley’s novel than any Universal Pictures monster flick. Here, the creature (often erroneously named after his creator) is imbued with thought and the capability to grow intellectually. He can speak, only single words at first, but he’s a smarter being than the stereotypical grunting green-faced brute of yore. Baron Frankenstein’s (Oscar Isaac) character is also given depth and reasoning. His unflagging quest to resurrect the deceased is borne from the grief of losing his beloved mother in his childhood, accompanied by a desire to scientifically supersede his bully of a father, a notable physician.

Oscar Isaac and Mia Goth give fine performances; Isaac capturing Baron Frankenstein’s descent into madness. I’m not sold on the casting of heartthrob Jacob Elordi as Frankenstein’s creation. Our sympathies lie with the creature, chained and shackled in the basement of the scientist’s lab yet with the narrative so emotionally-driven, I can’t find enough of that necessary anguish in Elordi’s portrayal. I have issues with his design too; he’s too aesthetically pleasing for something that’s a shoddy patchwork of rotten flesh.

Del Toro brings the classic story to life with his sumptuous visuals, his penchant for bloodshed and a supernatural feel to it; he’s made Frankenstein’s creature immortal – impervious to bullets, bayonets and even a stick of dynamite. Did the reassembled body parts once belong to Chuck Norris?

My rating: 6 / 10

Good Fortune (2025)

Director: Aziz Ansari
Screenplay: Aziz Ansari
Cast: Seth Rogen, Aziz Ansari, Keanu Reeves, Keke Palmer, Sandra Oh
Cinematography: Adam Newport-Berra
Editing: Daniel Haworth
Score: Carter Burwell
Genre: Supernatural comedy
Runtime: 97 minutes

In ‘Good Fortune‘, Keanu Reeves plays an angel. This role seems perfect for him; he’s cultivated an image as Hollywood’s nice guy – considerate, polite and wholly unproblematic in such a toxic environment. It’s a shame that he’s brought plummeting back to Earth by his appearance in this dud.

Reeves is Gabriel, an angel assigned to prevent people from texting and driving (and ultimately crashing). He’s a ‘budget guardian angel’, his wings noticeably shorter than his fellow angels. Feeling unfulfilled, he goes above and beyond his pay grade to help Arj (Aziz Ansari), a documentary maker who is down on his luck. Arj struggles to get by financially – he’s resorted to sleeping in his car and working any odd job he can. By complete contrast, we have Jeff (Seth Rogen), a tech bro who sits in the lap of luxury. Gabriel, using his limited powers, switches the lives of the men in a bid to show Arj that being so affluent isn’t all what it appears to be and that his life, however pitiful it may seem, is still worth living.

Naturally Arj, exposed to funds he could only dream of, refuses to swap back. Thus, Gabriel’s superiors strip him of his wings, rendering him human. He and Jeff must scrape together an income on the streets. The film is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life‘ minus the charm. Ansari, who also directs and wrote the screenplay, attempts to deliver a message about the financial disparities existing in America yet none of it elicits my sympathy.

I can’t cast anybody involved in a positive light. Rogen and the whiny-voiced Ansari are irritating, and (god bless him) Mr. Reeves can’t impart any angelic profundities without them sounding stilted. The movie isn’t so much as sent from above as sent from below.

Good fortune? Misfortune would be more apt.

My rating: 4 / 10

The Long Walk (2025)

Director: Francis Lawrence
Screenplay: JT Mollner
Cast: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Garrett Wareing, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Roman Griffin Davis, Jordan Gonzalez, Josh Hamilton, Judy Greer, Mark Hamill
Cinematography: Jo Willems
Editing: Mark Yoshikawa
Score: Jeremiah Fraites
Genre: Dystopian survival thriller
Runtime: 108 minutes

Another month, another Stephen King adaptation.

After the muddled fantasy that was ‘The Life of Chuck‘, we’re back on solid ground with a horror-adjacent concept. It’s a step in the right direction.

In an America stricken by poverty and under the thumb of a totalitarian regime, a group of young men enter a competition: the titular long walk. There is no finish line in sight. The victor is the last man standing (or walking in this case). They’ve voluntarily submitted to this arduous challenge to win ‘the prize’: anything their heart desires. In many cases, it’s cash – conditions are so poor economically by staying home and sitting it out, you’d probably die of starvation anyway.

The walkers are required to travel at a speed of three miles per hour consistently. Water is supplied along the way. No stopping for a quick doze though. Absolutely no time for a toilet break either. Audiences won’t need one; the film keeps you glued to the comfort of your seat.

The boys are given three warnings if they lag behind. They aren’t excluded from the expedition if they fail to keep up with the crowd. Instead, they’re shot dead, cold and mercilessly; the corpse just left there to bleed out. It’s part of the routine. With each walker meeting his maker, it doesn’t get easier down the road.

Nobody is there to make friends upon entering the contest although a few gang together and call themselves the Musketeers. All for one and one for all. There can only be one winner.

Doyen of dystopia Francis Lawrence, known for directing nearly every ‘The Hunger Games‘ movie, maintains a steady pace. The cast is top-class; Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Charlie Plummer and an unrecognisable Mark Hamill as the Major, dark sunglasses stuck to his face. The eyes are the window of the soul. Their absence epitomises a country lacking any humanity, where unfortunate men are slain without a pause for reflection.

‘The Long Walk‘ is soul-crushingly bleak – stick with it to the end even if, like the walkers, your resolve is broken.

My rating: 8 / 10

Honey Don’t! (2025)

Director: Ethan Coen
Screenplay: Ethan Coen, Tricia Cooke
Cast: Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans, Charlie Day
Cinematography: Ari Wegner
Editing: Tricia Cooke, Emily Denker
Score: Carter Burwell
Genre: Neo-noir dark comedy detective
Runtime: 89 minutes

‘Honey Don’t!‘ is the middle entry in a ‘lesbian B-movie trilogy’ (their words, not mine) from director Ethan Coen and his writing partner / wife Tricia Cooke. Last year’s ‘Drive-Away Dolls‘ was a crime-infused road movie, this film keeps the criminal element intact but has the feel of an old-school detective yarn.

It’s as far removed from the Coen brothers’ ‘Fargo‘ as you’d imagine. Wintry Minnesota is swapped for Bakersfield, California, where there’s nary a tree to be seen for miles. Lead character Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley), a private detective, is the antithesis of Frances McDormand’s police chief Marge Gunderson. Marge was a homely, maternal figure whereas Honey is hedonistic and sensual.

Having hived off from his brother, Ethan’s project is gushing with gratuitous sexual content. One might instantly write off any female nudity depicted as having been included for ‘the male gaze’. Not so, I’d say it might appeal to same-sex attracted women more. The hot-bloodedness left me cold, the sticky bedroom scenes not doing anything to drive the plot forward.

Honey is busy as a bee investigating a car crash, a cult-like church and the disappearance of her niece while still having time to hook up with a cop (Aubrey Plaza).

Coen’s strong cinematic visuals are buzzworthy; the sequences with Honey driving in her open-top automobile down the neglected West Coast streets keeping us sweet when the narrative veers off course. Margaret Qualley is outstanding, fully understanding the assignment given. Chris Evans as the lecherous preacher surprised me, playing against his all-American good guy type.

Not quite the bee’s knees but not a total buzzkill either.

My rating: 6 / 10

Bring Her Back (2025)

Director: Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou
Screenplay: Danny Philippou, Bill Hinzman
Cast: Billy Barratt, Sora Wong, Jonah Wren Phillips, Sally Hawkins
Cinematography: Aaron McLisky
Editing: Geoff Lamb
Score: Cornel Wilczek
Genre: Supernatural psychological horror
Runtime: 104 minutes

An Australian horror film is the last place I’d expect to see Sally Hawkins. She’s built her career on Mike Leigh projects (‘Vera Drake‘, ‘Happy-Go-Lucky‘), period pieces (‘Jane Eyre‘, ‘Great Expectations‘) and the family-friendly ‘Paddington‘ series, with the occasional left turn (the blockbuster ‘Godzilla‘ and romantic fantasy gem ‘The Shape of Water‘). This is completely unexpected.

Hawkins plays Laura, a counselor dealing with her own trauma; she lost her daughter in a drowning accident. Her reluctance to move forward is evident: she’s had her dead dog stuffed and on display for visitors. Laura also works as a foster mother. Already looking after a selectively mute boy, she takes in step-brother/sister duo Andy and Piper following their father’s recent passing.

Grief pervades the air. You might assume Laura would be mopey, distant and dressed in black as is customary. Nope. There she is, accompanying Andy and Piper to their dad’s funeral wearing a purple cardigan, garish lipstick and dangly hoop earrings, her hair a curly mop. She’s in the mood to celebrate, not to mourn. She’s got a sinister plan up her sleeve. Coping with loss is never easy, as a counselor should know. When it’s your own child, however, one may venture down a dark path. Laura watches fuzzy VHS tapes of a demonic-looking ritual involving a host cannibalising a corpse and transferring the soul of the deceased into a new body.

It’s visceral and bloody – not for those of you with weak stomachs. Hawkins’ performance captivates throughout and with ‘Bring Her Back‘, the Philippou brothers cast a spell stronger than any magical circle could.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Naked Gun (2025)

Director: Akiva Schaffer
Screenplay: Dan Gregor, Doug Mand, Akiva Schaffer
Cast: Liam Neeson, Pamela Anderson, Paul Walter Hauser, Kevin Durand, Danny Huston
Cinematography: Brandon Trost
Editing: Brian Scott Olds
Score: Lorne Balfe
Genre: Action crime comedy
Runtime: 85 minutes

At the close of the third ‘Naked Gun‘ film, ‘Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult‘, Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) sires a child, a baby boy. This was in 1994, so Liam Neeson (73)’s Frank Drebin Jr. was either born way earlier or he had a paper round in Iraq. You wouldn’t immediately think Neeson is a man in his 70s. He’s imminently pivoting away from action flicks, which have comprised the bulk of his second act as a movie star. It’s a smart move; he can do comedy and he’s game for a laugh here – but Neeson is no Nielsen. Although both started their careers as serious actors (Nielsen starred in ‘Forbidden Planet‘ and ‘The Poseidon Adventure‘ while Neeson got an Oscar nomination for ‘Schindler’s List‘), Nielsen’s comedic shtick proves to be hard to emulate.

‘The Naked Gun‘ (minus the subtitle or wacky opening credits scene) has the appropriate number of visual gags and inane wordplay except none of it made me chuckle, maybe raising the odd smirk here or there. The references are outdated by two decades and the celebrity cameos – from Dave Bautista, “Weird Al” Yankovich (again) and who I believe to be Priscilla Presley (though who can tell these days) – can’t rescue it either.

We’re living in an age where there’s a strong anti-cop sentiment post-George Floyd. ‘ACAB’ is scrawled on walls in graffiti and police cars are banned from appearing in Fortnite. Officers of the law are seen as figures of distrust. Political satire has never ceased, so why can we no longer poke fun at the authorities too? They get a ribbing onscreen; their buffoonery is the target of mockery and jokes made at their expense are sanctioned. No need to hurl abuse at them. Save that for Akiva Schaffer for thinking anyone could replace Leslie Nielsen.

My rating: 5 / 10

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

Director: Matt Shakman
Screenplay: Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan, Ian Springer
Cast: Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Joseph Quinn, Julia Garner, Ralph Ineson
Cinematography: Jess Hall
Score: Michael Giacchino
Genre: Superhero
Runtime: 114 minutes

20 years ago, we got ‘Fantastic Four‘, which did well enough commercially to get a sequel. 10 years later came another ‘Fantastic Four‘ – that one was a box office flop. A further decade brings a new big-budget outing for the third version of the superhero family, this time integrating them into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Planet Earth is marked for destruction. This message of doom is delivered by the messenger the Silver Surfer who serves her master, the mighty Galactus. Yes, her. More on that shortly. But it’s not Earth as we know it; specifically, it’s Earth-828, an alternate reality where the citizens are living in a retro-futuristic setting. A place where people listen to music on vinyl and drive Lincoln Continentals, except the technology is advanced and the quartet have a flying car. It’s how artists in the 1960s pictured how the far-flung year of 2000 A.D. would resemble – like a live action ‘Jetsons‘ movie. The period detail is amazing, there’s a million things to spot in such a short amount of time while we’re zipping around.

The retro design makes up for what they’ve done to our lead characters. Starting with Mister Fantastic: casting Pedro Pascal as a dependable, trustworthy guy is a stretch. Vanessa Kirby’s Sue Storm has a couple of nice moments but feels slightly muted. The writers have reduced Johnny Storm / Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) from smokin’ hot ladies’ man to just the plain old annoying little brother because they thought his womanising ways weren’t sexy. By contrast, you have the female incarnation of the Silver Surfer, played by Julia Garner. Now, I actually don’t take issue with the gender swap like so many swathes of fans did online. She’s otherworldly and detached as she should be. Turning the character into a woman means she’s promptly objectified – “Johnny’s girlfriend”, “sexy alien” etc. – I don’t recall the male variant ever receiving this treatment. These screenwriters must still be virgins, surely?

2024 was a cooldown for Marvel films (only one was released, ‘Deadpool & Wolverine‘) so we’re back to the usual two/three per calendar year. ‘The Fantastic Four: First Steps‘ is the weakest of 2025’s trio, behind ‘Captain America: Brave New World‘ and ‘Thunderbolts*‘.

My rating: 6 / 10

Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)

Director: Gareth Edwards
Screenplay: David Koepp
Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ed Skrein
Cinematography: John Mathieson
Score: Alexandre Desplat
Genre: Science fiction thriller
Runtime: 133 minutes

A mere three years after the critical mauling of ‘Jurassic World Dominion‘, we have another entry in the ‘Jurassic’ series: ‘Rebirth‘. As the name suggests, it’s a soft reboot with new characters yet maintaining the spirit of the OG ‘Jurassic Park‘ (1993). For a little while, the original was once the highest grossing film of all time so of course the studio would milk the hell out of the IP but can we let a franchise heal its wounds for a moment before launching more movies?

That said, ‘Rebirth‘ keeps it simple in terms of plot and the number of characters. Following on from the events of ‘Dominion‘, planet Earth is now inhospitable to dinosaurs. The poor creatures can only thrive near the equator where the climate is closest to their old habitat from eons ago. A greedy pharmaceutical rep (Rupert Friend) recruits skilled covert operative Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) to obtain blood samples from three living dinosaurs so he can develop a cure for heart disease. Rounding off the group are paleontologist (dinosaur nerd) Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and team leader Kincaid (Mahershala Ali). What they don’t immediately know is that the island they shipwreck at was once a testing ground for dinosaur experiments, including one ‘D-rex’ – a ‘Distortus rex’, looking like a Xenomorph on steroids.

Our crew behind the camera are dino-mite too: Gareth Edwards is no stranger to working with big beasts (he directed 2014’s ‘Godzilla‘, which kicked off Universal’s ‘Monsterverse‘) whilst the first film’s screenwriter David Koepp returns to humanise things. Together, they make it feel as fresh as it could be, delivering spectacle and roaringly good fun. A sequel is not required, unless Universal Pictures want the franchise to go the way of the dinosaurs.

My rating: 7 / 10

M3GAN 2.0 (2025)

Director: Gerard Johnstone
Screenplay: Gerard Johnstone
Cast: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Amie Donald, Jenna Davis, Ivanna Sakhno, Jemaine Clement
Cinematography: Toby Oliver
Score: Chris Bacon
Genre: Science fiction action
Runtime: 120 minutes

Hold on to your vaginas!

To completely misquote Harvey Dent’s line from ‘The Dark Knight’: “you either die a villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero.” In this case, closer to an anti-hero.

Two years after the chaos that was ‘M3GAN‘, Gemma (Allison Williams) and her niece Cady (Violet McGraw) find themselves under threat from ‘AMELIA’ (autonomous military engagement logistics and infiltration android), a rogue AI housed in a humanoid adult body. AMELIA is on the hunt for everyone involved in her creation and since she’s been coded with M3GAN’s data, Gemma has no real choice but to reassemble the latter from the scrapheap to save the day. The robotic doll’s request: make her taller, accommodating the fact that the child actress portraying M3GAN’s physical form has grown a foot or so.

‘M3GAN 2.0‘ eschews the horror aspects that made the first film a hit in favour of an all-out action escapade. M3GAN was a convincingly creepy doll but her devolution into one of the ‘good guys’ undoes the effort of the original. Her uncanny valley features used to be menacing, not anymore; she’s now reduced to spouting sarky quips.

It’s serviceable as a story – more or less. I can get on board with the message that ‘AI is bad’ but it’s hammered home to the point of exhaustion. The dialogue isn’t user-friendly; there’s a load of technobabble flying from every corner which just sounds like white noise to me. I think there’s a bug in the system – let’s press Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

My rating: 5 / 10

28 Years Later (2025)

Director: Danny Boyle
Screenplay: Alex Garland
Cast: Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfie Williams, Ralph Fiennes, Jack O’Connell
Cinematography: Anthony Dod Mantle
Score: Young Fathers
Genre: Post-apocalyptic horror
Runtime: 115 minutes

It’s surely the most anticipated movie in yonks. The Rage virus swept across mainland Britain in ‘28 Days Later‘ and we saw the militarised state London became in the aftermath in ‘28 Weeks Later‘. Skipping the nixed ‘28 Months Later‘, and we’re now 28 years into the pandemic.

A community of survivors have established a town on Lindisfarne, known as Holy Island, off the coast of the north east of England. In a world devoid of modern trappings, the residents live a medieval-style existence. Fletchers craft arrows, which are used by the youngsters as part of target practice. As they shoot, footage of Laurence Olivier’s ‘Henry V‘ (1944) is intercut showing a bundle of arrows soaring into the sky, driving home the medieval theme. This disease has changed the way people operate; it’s a rustic way of life for folks. There is still order; they’ve not been reduced to savages the way the zombies have. I felt echoes of the COVID-19 pandemic experienced 5 years ago – we united, letting the earth heal.

Tonally, ‘28 Years‘ is more in line with the original film; an emotional, character-driven affair, with great performances from Jodie Comer, Ralph Fiennes and newcomer Alfie Williams. But be warned: this is the first in a new trilogy from the duo behind ‘28 Days‘, director Danny Boyle and screenwriter Alex Garland, so don’t expect a quick resolution in this installment. Instead, rather disappointingly, it feels drawn out like the endless stretches of English countryside. Boyle’s sharp direction and an adequate amount of zombie killing kept me satisfied but I couldn’t help feel a tighter story, told in only a single picture, would’ve worked better. I’m relying on Garland to have the brains to realise his ambition.

While Danny Boyle has a breather (he helms part 3), Nia DaCosta takes over directing duties for the following chapter of the triad, ‘28 Years Later: The Bone Temple‘, slated for release next January.

My rating: 6 / 10

Ballerina (2025)

Director: Len Wiseman
Screenplay: Shay Hatten
Cast: Ana de Armas, Anjelica Huston, Gabriel Byrne, Lance Reddick, Norman Reedus, Ian McShane, Keanu Reeves
Cinematography: Romain Lacourbas
Score: Tyler Bates, Joel J. Richard
Genre: Action thriller
Runtime: 125 minutes

Taking place in the John Wick universe, ‘Ballerina‘ slots in between ‘Parabellum‘ and ‘Chapter 4‘ and focuses on Eve (Ana de Armas), a ballet dancer and assassin, trained by the Ruska Roma crime syndicate. They featured sparingly in ‘Parabellum‘, headed up by a Russian-accented Anjelica Huston but they take centre stage here. Eve is on a revenge mission: to kill the man (Gabriel Byrne) responsible for her father’s death. Little Eve (perfect child casting) saw the tragedy unfold in front of her, thrusting her into a world of violence.

Strongly warned against doing this, Eve is resolute and won’t back down. She risks defying the orders of the Ruska Roma if she proceeds. Will this Eve bite the apple and be banished from Eden? The assassins are bound by a list of rules – dare she break these tenets and face the consequences?

It’s riveting fare, moving along at a quick pace. A different director from the main franchise – this time it’s Len Wiseman, who helmed the ‘Underworld‘ series – yet the excellent set pieces remain, whether fighting in a gaudy nightclub or a snowy Alpine village.

Keanu Reeves pops up in what I’d describe as an extended cameo. His presence isn’t required; let Ana de Armas stand on her own two feet. She makes for a more than capable action heroine, walloped around a good bit by men bigger than her, though learns to use certain tactics in order to vanquish foes. If Reeves had overstayed his welcome, it might as well be classed as another Wick flick. At least with Eve’s character, we get choreographed fight scenes and acting ability.

Eve has scope to return in a ‘Ballerina‘ sequel or further on in ‘John Wick 5‘ – yes, it’s been greenlit; the guy is indestructible.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

Director: Wes Anderson
Screenplay: Wes Anderson
Cast: Benicio del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rupert Friend, Hope Davis
Cinematography: Bruno Delbonnel
Score: Alexandre Desplat
Genre: Espionage black comedy
Runtime: 105 minutes

‘The Phoenician Scheme‘ is the venerated Wes Anderson’s unlucky 13th feature length outing. Over 20+ years, he’s developed his own idiosyncratic style of filmmaking; a rich colour palette of yellows and oranges and shots made to look as if they’re two-dimensional paintings. He’s got his die-hard fans; if you’re one of them, you’ll no doubt love this film greater than I did.

Visually, as ever, it’s striking. As the opening credits appear, we’re treated to an aerial shot of Benicio del Toro (as Zsa-Zsa Korda) in the bath (a tray covering his modesty), while nurses walk around the perimeter of the screen. Anderson’s quirky approach makes up for a lack of coherent plot. Zsa-Zsa Korda is an industralist keen to remodel the area of Phoenicia (the Eastern Mediterranean) in his image. Having survived countless assassination attempts due to his shady business dealings, he decides to leave everything he owns to his pious nun of a daughter, Liesl (Mia Threapleton, in her first leading movie role). She’s his only female child; he has nine sons – he has more children than Boris Johnson!

The screenplay is too verbose with the actors trading lines back and forth at a pace so fast my brain didn’t comprehend half of what was going on. What I did understand devolved into silliness quickly, it sadly failed to ignite any strong, positive feelings from me.

Nevertheless, the cast is an embarrassment of riches: Benedict Cumberbatch, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Jeffrey Wright to name but a few and Anderson’s regular musical collaborator, Alexandre Desplat, delivers another charming score. If Wes ploughs on and conceives his 14th project, he should scheme to make a story capable of following. With less Michael Cera lingering in the background like a stench.

My rating: 5 / 10

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning (2025)

Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Screenplay: Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen
Cast: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Esai Morales, Pom Klementieff, Henry Czerny, Angela Bassett, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Nick Offerman, Hannah Waddingham
Cinematography: Fraser Taggart
Editing: Eddie Hamilton
Score: Max Aruj, Alfie Godfrey
Genre: Action spy
Runtime: 170 minutes

At the beginning of ‘Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning‘, box office saviour himself Tom Cruise pops up in a quick 1 minute clip thanking fans for coming to watch his new movie at the cinema (a moot point if you’re pirating it off 123movies). And although this isn’t the strongest installment in the series, it’s worth experiencing on the biggest screen you can acquire.

Continuing on from the previous film, the objective – to seek control of ‘the Entity’, an artificial intelligence that has world-ending capabilities if it falls into the wrong hands. Due to a lack of decent antagonists, this harmful A.I. is the deadliest threat facing Ethan Hunt’s team, rendering the eighth ‘Mission: Impossible‘ a soulless ultimate outing. The constant chatter of MacGuffins made me want to shout “less talking, more blowing up stuff!”.

There’s plenty of diverting sequences; director Christopher McQuarrie knows how to make a action-packed spectacle. Ethan Hunt faces danger at two extremes; clinging onto a chartered plane miles above the ground and venturing to the ocean floor to investigate an abandoned submarine. Watching all this water doesn’t help if you’re needing the loo by this stage. Bad news – you’re only about halfway through.

Touting this as the ‘final reckoning’ is bold for a major money-making franchise. I could earn some dough myself from betting this isn’t the end for Ethan and the gang but we’ll see. It’s remarkable that Tom Cruise still does his own stunts at the age of 62 but perhaps it’s time to put him and his puffy face out to pasture.

This review will self-destruct in 5 seconds…

My rating: 6 / 10

Final Destination Bloodlines (2025)

Director: Zach Lipovsky, Adam Stein
Screenplay: Guy Busick, Lori Evans Taylor
Cast: Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Anna Lore, Brec Bassinger, Tony Todd
Cinematography: Christian Sebaldt
Editing: Sabrina Pitre
Score: Tim Wynn
Genre: Supernatural horror
Runtime: 110 minutes

Will there ever be a final ‘Final Destination‘? It’s now been a quarter of a century of scaring cinemagoers into becoming hermits and not daring to venture outside in fear of the most ridiculous manner of death befalling them. More than 50% of accidents happen at home so you’re not safe there either.

This new entry acts as a prequel; the opening sequence takes place in the 1960s and follows a young woman’s premonition that the fancy rooftop restaurant (over 400 metres high) she attends with her boyfriend will collapse. Since she prevents this catastrophe from occurring, the number of lives she saves from the clutches of doom is myriad, so the stakes are higher than the previous installments where, say, you had 8 survivors.

Because of the vast tally of those cheating their fate, it’s absurdly taken Death decades to pick them all off one by one. Maybe the Grim Reaper got tired and took an extended vacation at the midway point? By the present day, many of the survivors have gone on to start families, making Death’s job extra difficult. It kills people through their genetic bloodline, hence the title.

Talking about things taking time, the runtime is the longest of the franchise. The average length of the first five movies is 91 minutes – which made them short, punchy rushes. ‘Bloodlines‘ felt drawn out and being the sixth movie, past its use-by date. Very much flogging a dead horse. Let this series rest in peace.

That said, the fatalities are sublimely splattery as expected and the song choices are a knowing wink to the audience. The late, great Tony Todd returns as the enigmatic Mr. Bludworth, the film’s MVP. Whilst only appearing in a single scene, his screen presence makes it worthwhile. A fitting send-off to both the character and the actor himself, musing on enjoying every second of life while you can – especially poignant given Todd’s health condition during filming.

My rating: 5 / 10

The Surfer (2024)

Director: Lorcan Finnegan
Screenplay: Thomas Martin
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Julian McMahon
Cinematography: Radek Ładczuk
Editing: Tony Cranstoun
Score: François Tétaz
Genre: Psychological thriller
Runtime: 100 minutes

Nicolas Cage is ‘The Surfer’; from Australia, raised in the States but returned to the place of his upbringing so he can buy his childhood home. It’s on the side of a cliff, overlooking the beach he spent his youth catching waves. A house with that view doesn’t come cheap so the Surfer, intending to move his wife and son there, desperately tries to get in touch with his broker in order to procure enough funds to close the deal in time for Christmas.

He runs afoul of a hostile gang of surf-loving thugs who proclaim: ‘don’t live here, don’t surf here’ to non-locals. Not the most welcoming blokes.

In the constant shadow of the bullies, the Surfer spends the next few days practically living in the nearby car park, waiting in vain for the call from the broker. He gradually loses his personal possessions one by one; his shoes, watch, phone and his wedding ring are exchanged for various items. Material belongings are replaceable but with each item lost, a layer of his sanity is stripped away. He’s reduced to scrabbling in bins for a meal and there’s a moment where he bites a rat to sate his hunger. He is a broken man; desperation personified.

It’s the middle of an Australian summer, the sun beating down on beach-goers. The film is like a heat-induced dizzy spell; magnificently hallucinatory camerawork, zooming into the Surfer’s face, the clifftop house pictured in shimmering light as if it’s a mirage. The sublime cinematography really captures the sun-dappled locale, the sky an almost unworldly azure. Cage gives his usual over-the-top performance yet it actually works in his favour; it plays into the heightened sense of reality.

My rating: 9 / 10

Thunderbolts* (2025)

Director: Jake Schreier
Screenplay: Eric Pearson, Joanna Calo
Cast: Florence Pugh, Sebastian Stan, Wyatt Russell, Olga Kurylenko, Lewis Pullman, Geraldine Viswanathan, David Harbour, Hannah John-Kamen, Julis Louis-Dreyfus
Cinematography: Andrew Droz Palermo
Editing: Angela Catanzaro, Harry Yoon
Score: Son Lux
Genre: Superhero
Runtime: 126 minutes

CIA director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) risks impeachment due to her involvement with the O.X.E. Group, which has been conducting experiments on humans. To eliminate all traces of wrongdoings, she intends to ensnare her operatives and dispatch them.

This motley crew are:

Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) – an assassin trained in the infamous Red Room, adoptive sister of Scarlett Johansson’s late Black Widow.
John Walker / U.S. Agent (Wyatt Russell) – a knockoff Captain America with none of the goody two-shoes quality about him, only hostility.
Ava Starr / Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) – she has the power to pass through objects as a result of a molecular instability, first seen in ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp‘.
Antonia Dreykov / Taskmaster – a professional killer who can mimic others’ fighting styles, introduced in ‘Black Widow‘ (2021) alongside Belova.

Throw in the new character of Bob (Lewis Pullman); one of de Fontaine’s human guinea pigs, plus the returning Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) and Red Guardian (David Harbour), Yelena’s father-figure, and you have the Thunderbolts, a bunch of lovable rogues thrust together in less-than-perfect circumstances – Marvel’s answer to Suicide Squad. There are bad guys and there are worse guys, these are the former.

It may seem a lot of info to take in, since the characters come from separate corners of the vast MCU but the writing deftly weaves their narratives into one entertaining action romp. It’s not just hits and giggles however, there’s a real vein of existentialism throbbing underneath the superhero armour.

As ever, the final scenes are crucial – they set up the stage for Phase 6 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

My rating: 8 / 10

Sinners (2025)

Director: Ryan Coogler
Screenplay: Ryan Coogler
Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Hailee Steinfeld, Miles Caton, Jack O’Connell, Wunmi Mosaku, Jayme Lawson, Omar Miller, Buddy Guy, Delroy Lindo
Cinematography: Autumn Durald Arkapaw
Editing: Michael P. Shawver
Score: Ludwig Göransson
Genre: Period supernatural horror
Runtime: 137 minutes

Identical twins, ‘Smoke’ and ‘Stack’ Moore (both played by Michael B. Jordan to the delight of many, I’m sure) return to their roots in Mississippi in Dust Bowl-era America after making good money up north in Chicago. With this wealth, they intend to start up a juke joint, a sort of bar featuring singing and gambling, for the town’s black community. Their young cousin Sammie, proficient in playing the guitar, is hired for entertainment. There’s a supernatural potency to his music; it’s a siren call for forces of evil – vampires.

Speaking in a Southern drawl, the cast are unintelligible to my ears so the personal circumstances of the brothers goes over my head unfortunately. I could understand every 5th word – ‘Y’all this, y’all that’ etc. That’s not a criticism of the quality of acting; conveying a message takes more than words and I got the general gist of what was going on.

‘Sinners‘ comes into its stride when dusk falls on the juke joint’s opening night. The fanged beasts come out of the shadows, and as per vampiric tradition, have to be invited inside a property. Don’t let them in!

The film’s greatest strength is the musical score, composed by Coogler’s previous collaborator Ludwig Göransson. It’s an ode to American blues music, with some gospel, soul, jazz and Irish folk thrown in as well. The score takes the songs of the Deep South in the 1930s and ensures them a legacy. Props to Miles Caton (as Sammie) in his big screen debut; he has such musicality in his veins.

Stay for the post-credits scene starring guitar legend Buddy Guy, who influenced the likes of Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Jeff Beck.

My rating: 7 / 10

The Amateur (2025)

Director: James Hawes
Screenplay: Ken Nolan, Gary Spinelli
Cast: Rami Malek, Rachel Brosnahan, Caitriona Balfe, Michael Stuhlbarg, Holt McCallany, Julianne Nicholson, Laurence Fishburne
Cinematography: Martin Ruhe
Editing: Jonathan Amos
Score: Volker Bertelmann
Genre: Vigilante action spy
Runtime: 123 minutes

Charlie (Rami Malek), a basement-dwelling CIA encryption nerd, is widowed when his wife Sarah (Rachel Brosnahan) is killed in a botched hostage situation during a terror attack at a London hotel. Uncovering workplace corruption on a higher level and knowing nothing will be done in regards to Sarah’s death, Charlie blackmails his superiors to give him basic field preparation in order to seek some retribution.

Blinded by grief, Charlie believes he has what it takes to avenge his spouse. “You couldn’t even beat a 90 year old nun in an arm wrestling match” he’s amusingly told at one point. He struggles to fire a loaded gun. He’s out of his depths. Not completely. He’s scrawny of build, but has the expertise and technology to surveil people and craft explosives. Picture Q undertaking the duties of James Bond. Underestimate weedy tech guys at your peril!

Obviously taking lives is wrong. But you can’t blame Charlie; he’s got this underdog quality; a minnow versus a shiver of sharks. I could not help rooting for him to succeed in his quest for vengeance in the face of unassailable odds.

This approach to the spy/action genre is refreshing. I counted only two short fight sequences (one of which Charlie features in) so overall it’s less brawling, more cat-and-mouse game-oriented, which makes it especially enthralling. Amateur (couple of) hour(s)? Absolutely not. Malek is a fine actor, perfectly cast as the unlikely action star, and there’s strong support from Laurence Fishburne as Charlie’s training mentor.

My rating: 8 / 10

Opus (2025)

Director: Mark Anthony Green
Screenplay: Mark Anthony Green
Cast: Ayo Edebiri, John Malkovich, Juliette Lewis, Murray Bartlett, Amber Midthunder
Cinematography: Tommy Maddox-Upshaw
Editing: Ernie Gilbert
Score: Danny Bensi, Saunder Jurriaans
Genre: Psychological thriller
Runtime: 104 minutes

Moretti is back. Three words spark a fire across social media.

Pop icon Alfred Moretti (John Malkovich) returns after a 30 year hiatus with a new record, projected to be the ‘greatest album in history, past or future’ by his fans. They’ve obviously not listened to anything by Yoko Ono.

Music journalist Ariel (Ayo Edebiri, from ‘The Bear‘) is one of six people chosen to attend Moretti’s compound for an exclusive listen to the album. As the group enter through the gates, superfans wait outside to get a glimpse of the man himself. Everyone, bar Ariel, seems to be Moretti-mad; they’re part of a cult.

I didn’t understand the hype either – the songs (in reality created by Nile Rodgers) were forgettable and Moretti didn’t possess any presence worth fawning over. Not Malkovich’s strongest work to date. Maybe he should’ve studied Jim Jones.

This is Mark Anthony Green’s directorial debut; it’s a vivid affair; the sect members clad in blues of different shades (is the colour blue to Moretti what purple was to Prince?). The stage is set for your bog standard thriller; creepy children, a disturbing puppet show, a sense of dread pervading the air.

However, I’m not too sure what Green is trying to say with this project. Cults are bad? Okay. Is this a satire on the obsessive nature of music aficionados? If so, he could’ve made a documentary about Taylor Swift stans instead. Edebiri turns in a good performance, the score adds to the uneasiness and up-and-comer Amber Midthunder is terrifying as Ariel’s concierge, assigned to be a human shadow. If there was a deeper meaning, it got lost in the unnecessary violence.

My rating: 5 / 10

Heart Eyes (2025)

Director: Josh Ruben
Screenplay: Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
Cast: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster
Cinematography: Stephen Murphy
Editing: Brett W. Bachman
Score: Jay Wadley
Genre: Romantic comedy slasher
Runtime: 97 minutes

We have slashers for nearly every holiday – Halloween (obviously), Christmas (‘Terrifier 3‘, ‘Black Christmas‘), St. Patrick’s Day (the ‘Leprechaun‘ series), even Thanksgiving (with 2023’s film baring the name of said celebration). It’s about time we got a Valentine’s Day-themed horror flick, the concept is ripe for exploitation.

The Heart Eyes Killer (HEK for short), so called because of the heart-shaped eye sockets on the stitched-up mask they wear, has been terrorising cities in the U.S. for the last two years. Their modus operandi: butchering only those in relationships. Singletons fear not!

Advertising executive Ally (Olivia Holt), who is newly single, bumps heads (literally) with the impossibly suave Jay (Mason Gooding, son of Cuba Gooding Jr. – Mason must get his looks from his mum) at a coffee shop. Later on, Ally meets her ex and his new girlfriend, and to save face in an awkward situation, pretends Jay is her boyfriend. She kisses him to prove her point. But this is witnessed by Heart Eyes who mistakes them for a genuine couple.

The dialogue is the highlight, it’s snappy and some real zingers are thrown around. Two of the supporting actors steal the movie from under the leads’ noses; Gigi Zumbado as Ally’s friend/co-worker, and Michaela Watkins as their boss Crystal Cane – they both have such onscreen charm and deliver their lines with pizzazz.

I actually really enjoyed it, but I felt it came undone thanks to the uber theatrical resolution. The cinema was full of twosomes on date nights when I went to see it; I’m pretty sure I was the only one sitting on their own. If Heart Eyes is purely on the hunt for couples, I count myself relieved.

My rating: 7 / 10

Love Hurts (2025)

Director: Jonathan Eusebio
Screenplay: Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, Luke Passmore
Cast: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, André Eriksen, Sean Astin
Cinematography: Bridger Nielson
Editing: Elísabet Ronaldsdóttir
Score: Dominic Lewis
Genre: Action comedy
Runtime: 83 minutes

Marvin Gable (Quan) has the perfect white picket fence existence; he bakes heart-shaped cookies, wears awful sweaters and his job as a realtor brings him the respect of the community. From almost everyone anyway, aside from a vandal defacing his advertisements. This person is Rose (DeBose), a reminder from Marvin’s previous occupation as an assassin, who he was sweet on. Her appearance on the scene threatens his chance at living an ordinary life as with her return comes his estranged brother Alvin ‘Knuckles’ Gable, seeking revenge for a past misdeed. ‘Love Hurts‘ is born of the same production line as ‘Nobody‘, another story of the ‘average Joe with a secret history as a killer’ so you know what to expect here.

Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan is a delight; a hybrid of adorkable charm and nifty fighting abilities. Ariana DeBose, on the other hand, is underused yet again – so soon after her talents were squandered in ‘Kraven the Hunter‘. The blend of comedy and action is inoffensive; if only the jokes hit as hard as the punches did. The muddled plot (stolen money, familial conflicts) is a distraction from what could be something much more fun than what the finished product turned out to be.

Heavily marketed as a Valentine’s Day date night movie through the overuse of the love heart motif, there’s a distinct lack of affection. I suggest you book tickets to see the latest installment in the ‘Bridget Jones‘ series in which you’re certainly guaranteed a bucketful of romance.

Love hurts, doesn’t it? Well this hurt my sensibilities.

My rating: 4 / 10

Wolf Man (2025)

Director: Leigh Whannell
Screenplay: Leigh Whannell, Corbett Tuck
Cast: Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger
Cinematography: Stefan Duscio
Editing: Andy Canny
Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
Genre: Horror
Runtime: 103 minutes

When writer Blake Lovell (Christopher Abbott) takes his workaholic wife, Charlotte (Julia Garner), and their daughter Ginger to the Oregon mountains where he spent his childhood to reconnect as a family unit away from the bustle of city life, the last thing he’d appreciate is being menaced by a werewolf.

On route things get hairy: Blake swerves off the road after seeing a humanoid figure standing there. In the aftermath of the crash, he’s slashed by a ‘wild animal’. Cue the standard transformation: a few hours later, he has become the titular ‘Wolf Man’. It’s a reboot of the classic Universal Pictures horror of 1941, given a modern day setting. The film is standalone, the plotted interconnected ‘Dark Universe‘ franchise featuring iconic ghouls such as Frankenstein’s Monster and Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde having been scrapped in favour of one-off projects, like 2020’s ‘The Invisible Man‘ (also directed by Leigh Whannell).

By keeping it simple in terms of plot and location (one isolated farmhouse), this means there’s less material to work with. Once her husband turns into a wolf, all Charlotte really gets to do now is be chased through a pitch-black forest. So what? Your husband’s a werewolf? Big deal. I’ve known men with more body hair than that.

Trippy visuals where the camera slowly pans around to see events from Blake’s perspective grab your attention for a handful of seconds but this is your typical ‘January Jinx’ movie; predictably low quality and sent out by the studio to die. What a howler.

My rating: 4 / 10

Maria (2024)

Director: Pablo Larraín
Screenplay: Steven Knight
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Pierfrancesco Favino, Alba Rohrwacher, Haluk Bilginer, Kodi Smit-McPhee
Cinematography: Edward Lachman
Editing: Sofía Subercaseaux
Genre: Biographical psychological drama
Runtime: 124 minutes

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

This Maria – La Divina herself, the world famous opera singer Maria Callas – is troubled; she has a narcotics addiction, her vocal abilities are in decline and she’s beset by hallucinations. One such vision is of ‘Andrax’, a young reporter (who shares his name with a drug she’s dependent on). He’s come to walk with her through her life, down leafy Paris streets, in the last seven days before her death aged 53.

Ms. Callas is the third 20th century female icon Pablo Larraín has put under the spotlight, after Jacqueline Kennedy in ‘Jackie‘ (2016) and Princess Diana in ‘Spencer‘ (2021). Jolie’s Maria (performing 5% of the operatic vocals, the rest is lip-synced to the real Maria’s voice) is regal, enigmatic, and her accent an odd hybrid of English and somewhat ‘European’.

The film, separated into three acts and a curtain call similar to an opera, goes a little way into exploring what makes her tick but this all feels too shallow; we’re only scratching away a thin layer of an incredibly complex personality.

It’s a huge case of style over substance; an abundance of opulence and elegance; with Callas’ past triumphs on stage artfully depicted in black and white. However, I lost interest; I felt as though I was wading in the midst of mud, trudging around in search of the nearest escape. ‘Maria‘ inched along at the pace of a sloth, albeit one that was dressed to the nines in a satin gown. Ave Maria!

My rating: 5 / 10

We Live in Time (2024)

Director: John Crowley
Screenplay: Nick Payne
Cast: Andrew Garfield, Florence Pugh
Cinematography: Stuart Bentley
Editing: Justine Wright
Score: Bryce Dessner
Genre: Romantic drama
Runtime: 108 minutes

Take:

one plot.

Add:

a dollop of sentimentality.

a pinch of laugh out loud moments.

an ounce of hard-hitting reality.

Stir it all in a bowl, bake in the oven for 108 minutes – and voilà – you’ve got the touching story of a couple who navigate the chaos of illness and pregnancy, retaining warmth at its core.

Employing a non-linear structure, ‘We Live in Time‘ centres on chef Almut Brühl (Pugh) and Weetabix representative Tobias Durand (Garfield) (as to why they’ve randomly got Continental European-sounding names is anyone’s guess) and the decade they spend together. They meet when Almut runs Tobias down as he tries to cross a road at night whilst on the hunt for pens to sign divorce papers – not exactly the typical first date at Nando’s.

The timey-wimey narrative makes it a smidge confusing as to whereabouts they are in the timeline if not already spelled out to us viewers. Within the opening five minutes of the movie… *boom* Almut is suddenly pregnant …*boom* she’s now been diagnosed with cancer (the early reveal softens the blow a little, as opposed to a weepy second act revelation). It’s an unconventional approach to the usual ‘boy meets girl’ concept, a reflection of the unpredictable nature of life. You never know what’s going to hit you next (unless it’s Almut with her car again).

Other characters fade into the background – the film is carried by two engaging performances from Pugh and Garfield, the pair have a natural chemistry. Even though Almut’s fate is sealed at the beginning, you still root for the couple in spite of insurmountable odds.

Bring a box of tissues with you in case.

My rating: 8 / 10

A Real Pain (2024)

Director: Jesse Eisenberg
Screenplay: Jesse Eisenberg
Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran Culkin, Will Sharpe, Jennifer Grey
Cinematography: Michal Dymek
Editing: Robert Nassau
Genre: Buddy road comedy-drama
Runtime: 90 minutes

You wouldn’t think the combination of a comedy-drama and a tour of a concentration camp would work but under the deft writing of Jesse Eisenberg (who also directs and stars), the two opposing forces of humour and sorrow don’t swamp each other; the former is used effectively to balance out the heavy subject matter.

A pair of American Jewish cousins, David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin, often hilarious) embark on a trip to Poland to honour the memory of their recently deceased grandmother. As part of a group of fellow Jews, they visit the Grodzka Gate, the Old Jewish Cemetery and lastly, the Majdanek concentration camp. But for the boys, their final stop is to see their gran’s house to reconnect with their roots.

Benji is gregarious, with no filter and wears his heart on his sleeve. By contrast, David is more reserved, uptight and envious of Benji’s effortless ability to integrate himself socially. The duo are both grieving for their grandmother – David doesn’t display it as externally, but that’s the nature of grief; we all process it in our own unique ways, it doesn’t make the feeling less valid than someone who was bawling their eyes out.

Their pain is a microcosm of the horrors their forebears endured, which really puts things in perspective – what is a ‘real‘ pain exactly? As the bunch are travelling first class on a train, Benji makes a thoughtful point about how they live in luxury while their ancestors were treated like cattle, suffering in terrible agony during the Holocaust.

When the group visit the Warsaw Uprising Monument (which depicts courageous Polish World War II resistance fighters), the tour guide highlights the fact these bronze men are striking back, not being meekly led to their deaths – a reminder of a show of strength in the face of antisemitism.

An interesting look at personal anguish, well acted throughout by the two leads.

My rating: 8 / 10

Anora (2024)

Director: Sean Baker
Screenplay: Sean Baker
Cast: Mikey Madison, Mark Eydelshteyn, Yura Borisov, Karren Karagulian, Vache Tovmasyan
Cinematography: Drew Daniels
Editing: Sean Baker
Score: Matthew Hearon-Smith
Genre: Comedy-drama
Runtime: 139 minutes

‘Anora‘, Sean Baker’s latest in his string of tales of ‘adult performers’ (‘Starlet‘, ‘Tangerine‘, ‘Red Rocket‘), follows young stripper Anora (Mikey Madison), or ‘Ani’ for short, as she embarks on a whirlwind romance with Vanya, the son of a Russian oligarch who she meets in the strip club. He’s barely a grown up – his father has paid henchmen to watch over him and he’s incapable of even making his own bed.

In a space of mere weeks, Vanya proposes to Ani. She accepts, and they get hitched in a Vegas chapel. Turns out, he’s only after a green card – I called it pretty early on. News of their wedding reaches Vanya’s dad and, thus he sends his lackeys to annul the marriage tout suite. They turn up at the door, Vanya hightails it down the road, leaving his new bride to deal with the fallout.

Initially putting up a good fight against them, Ani reluctantly joins forces with the men in the search for Vanya, believing she can prove their love is genuine. What ensues is one long, compelling odyssey as the group trawl through possibly every nightclub in Brooklyn in the hunt for the wayward youth.

I struggle to find sympathy for Anora; whilst charming enough with her Brooklyn accent, she’s clearly wise beyond her years (Vanya thought she was older than she actually was) and has dealt with all sorts in her profession. So why didn’t she recognise Vanya as the utter man-child he was? And marrying someone you hardly know?! She sped past so many red flags, she may as well be a Formula One driver.

Although the character elicits no compassion from me, Mikey Madison’s performance anchors the film – she runs the gamut of emotions; naively optimistic, apoplectic, and ending with the sobering acceptance of the situation she’s found herself in. I won’t be surprised if Ms. Madison gets nominated for (and wins) the major awards this season.

My rating: 7 / 10

Blitz (2024)

Director: Steve McQueen
Screenwriter: Steve McQueen
Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Harris Dickinson, Elliot Heffernan, Benjamin Clementine, Kathy Burke, Paul Weller, Stephen Graham
Cinematography: Yorick Le Saux
Editing: Peter Sciberras
Score: Hans Zimmer
Genre: Historical war drama
Runtime: 120 minutes

London 1940: the city is being pounded continuously by German bombs. A war zone is not the best environment for children so Rita (Saoirse Ronan, flawless Cockney accent) sends her mixed-race son George (Elliot Heffernan) to the safety of the English countryside along with other evacuated kids, but so reluctant is he to be separated from his family, he throws himself off the moving train. We follow him on his exhilarating journey back to the fiery hellscape London has degenerated into, meanwhile, his mother desperately searches for him, having been notified of his disappearance in transit.

George’s adventure home acts as an exploration of his racial identity with the help of kindly air raid warden Ife (Benjamin Clementine). George is isolated from his peers in the respect that he’s braved this daring voyage all on his own but also detached from them due to their appalling racist taunts (the adults aren’t setting a good example though). This treatment of people based on their skin color by a select few in the UK mirrors the fascistic behaviour of Nazi Germany, although in the latter country, the persecution of persons of colour resulted in their deaths. So much for the famed wartime ‘Blitz Spirit’, where Brits of different creeds were supposed to band together stoically with a sense of morale and forge ahead as a single nation, undivided.

The film is incredibly relevant to modern times; the imagery, particularly one aerial shot of London post-bombing, could easily be mistaken for Gaza or Kyiv in 2024. A frenetic opening sequence taking place immediately after a bomb has hit simulates journalists’ footage from the front line; it’s art sadly imitating life.

Director/writer Steve McQueen has created a harrowing portrait of war-torn Britain – within it a powerful statement on racial identity in a country not fully embracing of ethnic minorities – bolstered by Hans Zimmer’s score and impeccable period detail.

My rating: 8 / 10

Heretic (2024)

Director: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods
Screenwriter: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods
Cast: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East
Cinematography: Chung Chung-hoon
Editing: Justin Li
Score: Chris Bacon
Genre: Horror thriller
Runtime: 111 minutes

When a pair of naive Mormon missionary girls knock on his door in a bid to convert him to their cause, Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) invites them in under the pretence he has a wife (it’s a rule of the young women that they must have another female present in the room). He doesn’t, of course, have said spouse. The girls don’t know what they’ve got themselves into.

Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly.

It’s a movie of two halves; and with two writers/directors, it makes you wonder if they worked on separate halves and stitched them together, Frankenstein’s monster-style. The first half, wherein the missionaries are lured into Reed’s house like lambs to the slaughter and he begins to challenge their religious beliefs is rather gripping; you could cut the tension with a breadknife. He lectures them on how there’s no one true religion and that they’re all variations of each other, but does so using pop culture metaphors (such as different editions of Monopoly) as a way of making it accessible – I never thought I’d be hearing Hugh Grant ‘sing’ a few bars of Radiohead’s ‘Creep‘ or do a woeful Jar Jar Binks impersonation, yet here we are. He then forces the pair into some kind of psychological game, marking two identical doors as ‘belief’ and ‘disbelief’ and tasking them to choose one if they want to leave. It’s ‘Saw‘ but instead of Jigsaw at the helm, it’s Grant, putting a sinister twist on his usual bumbling, English toff persona.

The latter half, once the choice of which door to walk through has been made, is weighed down by theological mumbo jumbo and drivel about miracles and resurrections. It’s not for me; I’m too scientifically minded to take in any of this hogwash, I believe in logic as opposed to a god. It would’ve been a better film had it kept up the tense atmosphere and not devolved into a holy commotion – ‘Heretic‘ is hardly manna from heaven.

My rating: 5 / 10

‘Salem’s Lot (2024)

Director: Gary Dauberman
Screenplay: Gary Dauberman
Cast: Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Alfre Woodward, John Benjamin Hickey, Bill Camp, Spencer Treat Clark, William Sadler, Pilou Asbæk
Cinematography: Michael Burgess
Editing: Luke Ciarrocchi
Score: Nathan Barr, Lisbeth Scott
Genre: Supernatural horror
Runtime: 113 minutes

A somewhat famous writer, Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman), revisits the town in Maine which he grew up in order to spark some inspiration. Jerusalem’s Lot (the ‘Jeru’ having been worn away on the welcome sign) has that quintessential small-town America feel…except there’s a vampire on the loose. Mears and his band of two-dimensional friends have to defeat the bloodsucking beast, which resembles a CGI-ed Nosferatu. Henceforth, any attempt at crafting Mears’ emotional backstory is promptly disregarded in favour of battling vampires instead. The talented Alfre Woodard and Bill Camp, playing the local doctor and school teacher respectively, are wasted – reduced to spouting terrible lines of dialogue like a couple of suckers.

Every single vampire cliché you can think of is thrown around; wooden stakes through the heart, they’re allergic to sunlight, no reflection in the mirror etc.; I lost count of how many times I rolled my eyes. And the obvious jumpscares – even Stevie Wonder could’ve seen them coming.

Curiously, the movie was shot way back in 2021 and went through reshoots and years of postponed potential release dates. Maybe the producers saw the rough cut and thought ‘Oh god it’s so bad but people might forget we’re making it if we never release it.”. Perhaps they were trying to spare us from this cinematic slog. According to director Gary Dauberman, the initial edit lasted three hours before they (thankfully) chopped it down to 113 minutes. Bleeding hell…can you imagine?

I’d consider it to be one of the worst Stephen King book-to-film adaptations I’ve come across. ‘Salem’s Lot? A lot of tripe more like. Fangs for nothing!

My rating: 3 / 10

Terrifier 3 (2024)

Director: Damien Leone
Screenplay: Damien Leone
Cast: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Elliott Fullam, Samantha Scaffidi
Cinematography: George Steuber
Editing: Damien Leone
Score: Paul Wiley
Genre: Christmas supernatural slasher
Runtime: 125 minutes

Silent night, holy fright!

Who’s dressed in a suit and got a big bag full of treats for all the good boys and girls? Santa Claus? Hell no! It’s Art the Clown!

In this Christmas-flavoured third entry in the cult slasher franchise, Art’s back to finish what he started in the previous movie – to kill ‘final girl’ Sienna Shaw. Set five years after Sienna’s first tangle with the killer clown, she’s recently been released from psychiatric care and recuperating at her aunt and uncle’s house.

The kills are gruesomely inventive as ever and the stomach-churning practical effects would make Tom Savini proud (he actually has a cameo as a eyewitness on television news). There’s a scattering of darkly amusing moments; one especially seasonal – Art making blood angels instead of those of snow.

My main problem is with Art the Clown. Though visually creepy and certainly a welcome addition to the modern horror movie villain canon, I find his execution flawed. If you’re going to do the whole ‘silent but deadly’ thing, constantly gurning and scowling means I won’t be able to take you seriously. And maybe that’s the point; he’s meant to be a little goofy. But herein lies another issue – if you’re a deliberately campy character (à la Freddy Krueger), at least have enough panache to pull it off – Krueger could do his over-the-top shtick and terrible one-liners AND still be genuinely terrifying. Adding an accomplice into the mix in the form of Vicky, the deranged survivor of ‘Terrifier 1‘, detracts from Art’s presence and power as the big bad, too.

The unnecessary supernatural elements in the plot are a distraction from what could’ve been a more straightforward gore-fest, tipping an already pretty silly story into the territory of the downright ridiculous.

My rating: 6 / 10

Never Let Go (2024)

Director: Alexandre Aja
Screenwriter: Kevin Coughlin, Ryan Grassby
Cast: Halle Berry, Percy Daggs IV, Anthony B. Jenkins
Cinematography: Maxime Alexandre
Editing: Elliot Greenberg
Score: Robin Coudert
Genre: Survival horror thriller
Runtime: 101 minutes

There’s often rules in horror movies that you have to follow in order to live. In ‘A Quiet Place’, you survive by not making a sound. In ‘Bird Box’, you commit suicide if you see the creatures so must remain blindfolded. In ‘Never Let Go‘, it’s by touch that ‘they’ get you, if they do you’ll turn against your family in a murderous rage.

After society apparently collapses, a mother (Halle Berry, doing a poor attempt at a Southern accent) and her two young sons live in a cabin in the woods, surviving in their remote locale by foraging for food and hunting animals. But there’s ‘evil’ lurking in the surrounding forestry (taking various forms, among them; Berry’s late husband and a zombified, serpentine version of her mother) so when venturing outside, the trio must tie ropes around themselves – thus remaining connected to their home – as these seemingly magic ropes (yes, really) have the power to protect them from these malevolent forces (initially only witnessed by Berry’s character).

There’s little to no threat – you won’t be left with a knot in your stomach. Despite the ropes being bound tightly, the tension is lax while the dialogue is ropey at best. It keeps you guessing whether it actually is the end of the world or not (similar to last year’s ‘Knock at the Cabin‘- what is it with apocalypses and cabins?) but that only depends if you haven’t already given up and let go.

Even so, the verdant cinematography is the movie’s saving grace, creating a natural, environmental feel and featuring arboreal set pieces.

My rating: 4 / 10

Twisters (2024)

Director: Lee Isaac Chung
Screenplay: Mark L. Smith
Cast: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, Brandon Perea, Maura Tierney, Sasha Lane
Cinematographer: Dan Mindel
Editing: Terilyn A. Shropshire
Score: Benjamin Wallfisch
Genre: Disaster
Runtime: 122 minutes

In a Hollywood devoid of original ideas, they’ve plumped to make another movie about tornadoes. In fairness, it’s a major worry in the States so the concept isn’t so ridiculous I guess. This standalone sequel to ‘Twister‘ (1996) sees our leads Kate (Daisy Edgar-Jones), a meteorologist, and Tyler (Glen Powell) a suave ‘tornado wrangler’ and social media star as they both set out to hunt a storm for different reasons. Tyler seeks the thrill (and the YouTube ‘clicks’) that comes with the chase in contrast to Kate, who wants to test a new high-tech device (amusingly nicknamed ‘Dorothy’ in a reference to the gadget in the antecedent film and also the character in ‘The Wizard of Oz‘) that potentially has the power to dissipate a tornado. So of course, she needs to recklessly drive right up to a twister and take readings from it. Sounds like a suicide mission to me. Well, at least she’s not throwing a nuke into the storm and hoping for the best.

There’s a couple of very subtle references to climate change but thankfully this is no lecture on environmental concern; otherwise people would leave the cinema in bored droves. It’s more of a science lesson – one that’s thoroughly enjoyable though. Scientific terms are tossed around a little, but the somewhat confusing jargon should go over your head. We get the gist – they’re bustin’ tornadoes.

Aided by a jaunty country music soundtrack and some top-notch CGI effects of the mighty windstorms, ‘Twisters‘ is entertaining while still retaining an emotional side; whereas the first movie dealt with a couple’s separation, this deals with the loss of loves ones and the devastation the storms wreak on small communities.

A whirlwind of an adventure!

My rating: 7 / 10